Category: Michael Pena

Page Six Says That Hollywood Hates Kristen Bell And Dax Shepard

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Today must be Random Hollywood Feud Day.

For a few years now, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have been pushing the hard sell on just how open they can be about each other and their relationship. No matter how gross or personal, nothing is off-limits. They overshare about everything from the story about his surprise vasectomy to the story about her jar-peeing. There are some people who may be into Kristen and Dax’s oversharing, but according to Page Six, Hollywood isn’t one of them. Hollywood allegedly hates them and thinks they’re overexposed. Anyone who hates their corny-ass Samsung commercials is probably with Hollywood.

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Blake Lively Went With The “Raggedy Cruise Ship Dancer” Look For The People’s Choice Awards

January 19, 2017 / Posted by:

If the Oscars and the Emmys are your fancy old uncle who drinks expensive scotch and loves British shows on PBS, then the People’s Choice Awards are your aunt who drinks canned Bay Breezes and asks if you wanna get high in her LeBaron. The People’s Choice Awards are for the people, damn it, and they don’t need prestige or class or gowns that requires every inch of your intestines to be crammed into Spanx.

Blake Lively clearly knows this and after going full-fashion at the Golden Globes two weeks ago, she wore one of Britney Spears’ rejects to the People’s Choice Awards. It’s like she couldn’t find her glasses and just assumed the dress code on the PCA invitation said: “Come dressed as a dancer from a Bob Mackie-inspired cruise ship show who is trying to get fired.” She looks like the messiest pledge at a sorority for ravens.

Some people still don’t understand that you don’t have to try so hard at the People’s Choice Awards. Jennifer Lopez, I’m looking at you.

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Michael Peña Says Scientology Made Him A Better Actor

October 7, 2016 / Posted by:

Yes, those fingers have been wrapped around the cans attached to an E-meter, and all that can-grabbing is the reason why Michael Peña is as successful an actor as he is. Michael is currently promoting the upcoming film War on Everyone, and he recently spoke to The Guardian about his new movie and being an actor and whatnot. Something you may not know about Michael Peña is that he’s deep into that Scientology lifestyle. Some famous Scientologists pledge their allegiance to L. Ron Hubbard on the down-low, while others – cough Tom Cruise cough – get so giddy when they talk about it, they make dialogue in a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical sound like an Arthur Miller play. Michael is sort of the first one; he’s usually pretty quiet about Scientology, but he did kiki with The Guardian a little about it.

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Open Post: Hosted By Alexander Skarsgard Striking Coy Pin-Up Poses

February 12, 2016 / Posted by:

That is some “Touch me in the morning, then just walk away” tease.

Alexander Skarsgard is currently at the Berlin International Film Festival where he’s pimping out his movie with Michael Pena called War on Everyone. War on Everyone is a comedy about two corrupt cops in New Mexico who blackmail every criminal they deal with. So it sounds like it’s like True Detective if True Detective was on Comedy Central. We’re all probably wondering if ASkars gets naked in this shit and if he does, for how long (if you read that as “how long is it,” that works too) and is it going to be released in IMAX 3D? None of the synopses about this movie mentioned that. I know, how unprofessional and incompetent of those synopsis writers. I hope at least ASkars wears a loin cloth in this since he doesn’t in that Tarzan mess.

There was a press conference at Berlinale for the movie today and ASkars made tips moist and clits tingle when he turned around and served up some “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” flirtiness. If Tarzan flops hard and he’s ran out of Hollywood, he can always be a pose coach at Barbizon.


Open Post: Hosted By Scenes From The CHiPs Remake I Didn’t Know Was Happening

November 12, 2015 / Posted by:

Hollywood is continuing with its loooooong ass tradition of shitting up remakes and reboots that NOBODY asked for. A remake of Fantasy Island is in the works. Casting for the Baywatch movie is almost done. And here’s pictures from the L.A. set of the CHiPs movie. This is the HELL that the success of the 21 Jump Street movie hath wrought! Now every studio thinks that if they remake some old show and throw a couple of dude bros in it, they’ll have to learn how to scuba or else they’ll drown in all the money that will fall on them. I don’t know if that’s going to happen with this mess….

Dax Shepherd is playing Jon Baker and he’s directing it. Michael Pena is Ponch and Kristen Bell, Adam Brody, Vincent D’Onofrio and Jane Kaczmarek are also in it. I’d be all about it if Alexander Skarsgard played Jon Baker and Adam Rodriguez played Ponch, and instead of being highway patrol officers, they were security guards at a gay nudist colony.

I can already see the reviews for this and they look a lot like what’s on Dax’s shirt. With that being said, it’ll probably make ten times more money than the Jem abomination and that hurts me all over again.


Shia LaBeouf’s “Method Acting” Is The Reason Why He Got Fired From A Broadway Play And Ended Up In Jail

October 19, 2014 / Posted by:

Seen above looking like a dirty hot, dick jelly-ridden hitchhiker that you picked up one night and had messy fuck times with in a motel room before waking up the next morning to find out that he stole your car and gave you crabs, Shia LaBeouf tells Interview Magazine (via Page Six) that “method acting” is what led him to a jail cell and is what got him pink-slipped from the Broadway play Orphans. When Shia got fired from Orphans for being difficult  and he started terrorizing homeless guys in Times Square, some blamed it on Shia being Shia and others blamed it on booze, the bad shit or a mental breakdown. Shia tells Interview that the only drug to blame is AC-TING! It took him a while, but Shia finally played the Joaquin Phoenix card.

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