Category: Michael Avenatti
R. Kelly Was Charged With 10 Counts Of Aggravated Criminal Sexual Abuse
Well I’ll be damned. Just when you thought the entire Chicago legal system was laser focused on proving the guilt of a man who used a personal check in the alleged commission of a felony, it’s nice to know they also had the time to conduct a grand jury investigation into the alleged sexual abuse crimes of Robert Sylvester Kelly. According to TMZ, the Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx has charged Robert with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, and I just decided to have champagne for lunch. And dinner. While I’m celebrating, Robert is probably packing a sad brown bag lunch and texting his one remaining friend to come water his plants while he’s gone because he’s expected to voluntarily turn himself over to authorities tonight after a no-bail arrest warrant was issued.
Michael Avenatti Says He Received A Previously Unseen Tape Of R. Kelly Sexually Assaulting A Minor
Michael Avenatti wasn’t able to land his big game fish, Donald Trump (bottom feeding flat fish can grow quite big, don’t ya know), but apparently he’s had his sights set on easier prey too. Michael announced that he’s been in possession of a previously unseen tape of Robert Sylvester Kelly engaging in “multiple sexual assaults of a girl underage”. According to Michael, he’s been representing “multiple clients” with allegations of sexual assault against Robert since April of 2018, and has been doing so pro bono because he cares deeply about “young African-American girls”. I’m sure his involvement had nothing at all to do with sidling up to the white-hot spotlight R. Kelly’s been living under since, I don’t know, about April of 2018. But regardless of his motives, it sounds like Michael may have found a smoking gun, and has turned it over to the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office.
Stormy Daniels Ordered To Pay Donald Trump’s Legal Fees (But Michael Cohen Is Going To Prison)
Stormy Daniels owes Michael Avenatti a great, big “I told you so” because she’s just been ordered to pay nearly $300,000 of Donald Trump’s legal fees for that defamation lawsuit he talked her into filing. While this ruling has no bearing whatsoever on her primary NDA lawsuit against Trump, you still know it’s something Trump’s gonna be congratulating himself for, and maybe we should give it to him since he’s having such a bad day. Michael Cohen was sentenced to 3 years in prison today. Stormy lost the defamation suit in October, but because of the nature of the suit, the plaintiff is required by Texas law to pay the defendant’s legal fees. So yes, it’s technically a loss, but the judge also stated that Trump’s lawyers overcharged, so the amount requested was reduced. Maybe they’ll let her pay it to Cohen’s prison commissary account.
Michael Avenatti Will Not Be Running For President In 2020
“I have decided not to seek the Presidency of the United States in 2020” – Michael Avenatti
And with that, a hero takes a knee. Michael Avenatti posted a statement on Twitter today announcing that he will not be playing the role of Dancing Bear in the upcoming 2020 presidential circus. Michael cites his family as the reason he’s decided to forgo having the FBI look any closer into his background than they already have. And yes, he’s used the old “out of respect for my family” excuse which is the unelectable power hungry dude equivalent of a pop tart cancelling a concert due to “exhaustion”.
It Sounds Like Stormy Daniels Is Almost Done With Michael Avenatti
When Stormy Daniels refused to let Trump and his goons label her as a lie-telling whore (“I’m a truth-telling whore, thankyouverymuch” is probably what Stormy would say), she teamed up with lawyer Michael Avenatti and the two became a talk show wet dream team who furiously worked the circuit in the name of Justice4Stormy. They stuck together through bad times (like when Stormy was arrested in a shady sting for doing what Stormy does at a strip club) and disgusting times (like when Stormy made all of us spit out the deep fried mushrooms we were eating by saying that Trump’s dick look like it should be wearing a blue and gold vest and a too-tight diaper). But it looks like the legal honeymoon may be over.
Michael Avenatti’s Accuser Has Filed A Restraining Order Against Him
The woman who accused Michael Avenatti of assaulting her has now filed a restraining order against him. After TMZ falsely reported that the alleged victim was Michael’s estranged wife, we now know that an Estonian actress named Mareli Miniutti is the woman who Michael allegedly struck. Little is known about Mareli. Her age is widely reported as “in her 20s”, she set her Instagram account to private and, according to The Daily Mail, she began removing photos from her Facebook account as soon after the restraining order was filed.