Last week, Vitalii Sediuk, who doesn’t seem to know what the definition of a “prank” is, got elbowed in the face by Gigi Hadid after he picked her up from behind as she walked to her car. Vitallii really did it to raise awareness for his attention whore ways, but he dribbled out a river of bullshit when he said that he did it to protest against Anna Wintour and the rest of the fashion industry putting the Kartrashians and other Instagram-famous people on the covers of magazines. Vitalli kept “protesting” again today by trying to kiss Kim Kardashian’s ass, but his face ended up kissing the concrete instead.
Last week we learned that Brad Pitt was being investigated for child abuse after an anonymous complaint was made almost two weeks ago claiming that a beyond-drunk Brad had gotten abusive with 15-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt during a fight with Angelina Jolie on their private jet. A source close to Brad claimed that it was nothing more than just a tipsy parent-child argument that escalated. The details of what happened were all a little murky. Apparently the people investigating the situation think so too.
Why do I have a feeling that during Brad Pitt’s first meeting with his divorce lawyer, his lawyer said, “Okay, champ, I just want to make it clear that by ‘joint custody’ we’re not talking about custody of your joints and blunts. I’m sure you’ll get full custody of those in the divorce. We’re talking about the children.” And yes, in my mind, every dude divorce lawyer calls his client “champ.”
It was rumored that Brad Pitt was not going to just let Angelina Jolie have full physical custody of their 6 children. Brad reportedly wants 50/50 physical custody, and isn’t going to settle for “visitation rights.” USA Today says that Brad Pitt has hired big Hollywood divorce lawyer Lance Spiegel to fight for him and go up against Angelina Jolie’s lawyer, the Legal Queen of Hollywood Divorces Laura Wasser. TMZ says that Brad will 100% fight for joint physical custody and sources say that he will argue that he is not a threat to the child army in any way.
About a year ago, Jim Carrey’s 30-year-old Irish makeup artist girlfriend Cathriona White committed suicide in her home in Sherman Oaks, CA. She and Jim Carrey had been on-and-off for 3 years and he had reportedly broken up with her just a few days before she died. She left suicide notes including one to Jim Carrey. A few weeks after she overdosed on prescription drugs, it was reported that next to her were 4 pill bottles. The name on 3 of the bottles was allegedly the alias that Jim used for prescriptions. (It’s illegal in CA, but apparently famous tricks do that a lot for privacy reasons.) The other bottle had a different name on it. Well, since Jim Carrey is famous and has bank accounts overfilled with money, he’s been sued by Cathriona’s estranged husband for wrongful death.
Seen above on the right: the best bunk bed.
It’s September, which means there are tons of students who have just moved in their first shared college dorm. As anyone who did college knows, your roommate situation can be a real crapshoot. Sometimes you’re paired with a roommate who doesn’t care that you spend most of your time eating raw cookie dough crumbled into a giant bowl of instant butterscotch pudding while watching Jenny Jones in you underwear in a broken butterfly chair (hey Lauren!). And sometimes you’re paired with a roommate you’re convinced was conceived in the 7th layer of Hell when Satan had unprotected sex with a nightmare taking the form of a human. And sometimes when that happens, one of the roommates says “Fuck it” and tweets the emails that were sent between the roommates and we all get to suffer together.
Ever since Tidal’s grand launch last year, it’s been hit with shit news after shit news and it looks like it’s been living up to its name by turning out to be a disaster.
It was reported that Tidal let go of its CEO and 25 employees and later pink-slipped even more employees. It was also reported that Jay-Z was about to sue Tidal’s previous owners for inflating the number of subscribers they claimed they had. And now a business newspaper from Norway, where Tidal has offices, says that the streaming service that was supposed to drown Spotify lost millions of dollars last year. We all knew shit was probably not going to go well for Tidal when Madge put her knee on the table and sprawled herself out while signing some kind of contract during its weird launch. That was a bad, bad omen.