Bringing a piece back to your place after a first date is never a good idea. One, you don’t really know them. Two, they could be one of those freaks who are into cuddling after fucking, and it’s always awkward to kick a one-night-stand out of your house. You should only hook up with a first date in your car or the bar bathroom. That’s what smart people do! But some high-profile millionaire lawyer in Houston broke my first date rule by bringing his piece back to his mansion, and it ended with him having to call his insurance company after some of his precious art was damaged and with her getting a mug shot worthy of the Faces of Meth Hall Of Fame.
You would think that the people who are happiest about Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle getting married would be Prince Hot Ginge, Meghan Markle and the makers of coats, but nobody is happier than her half-sister Samantha Grant! Because Samantha can cash in now that her half-sister is marrying into the British royal family. See, monarchy haters, the British royals create jobs. They even created a full-time opportunist attention whore job for an American!
Yesterday, Mieka brought us the news that one of the former First Sons of Alaska, 28-year-old Track Palin, was arrested on domestic violence charges on Saturday. At the time we only knew that Track’s latest act of violent foolery involved his dad Todd Palin (seen above with Mama Grizzly in 2010). Now we know that the incident did involve Todd, specifically Todd getting his head repeatedly bashed in by his son’s fist. TLC is probably slapping themselves in the face for canceling Sarah Palin’s show way too early and losing out on sad and messy family situations like this one.
25-year-old Frances Bean Cobain is almost divorced. Hooray for her! But sadly, it’s not totally over yet.
Frances got married to Isaiah Silva back in September 2015, and split from him ten months later. Frances and Isaiah’s separation has been messy. Isaiah claimed custody of a guitar that once belonged to Frances’ dad Kurt Cobain. He says Frances gave it to him as a wedding gift, but she denies that and wants it back. Isaiah also tried to come for $300,000 a year in spousal support. At one point, Courtney Love and her pal Sam Lutfi were reportedly involved in Frances’ Not Without My Dad’s Guitar saga.
Jennifer Hudson and former professional wrestler David Otunga (aka Punk from I Love New York) have been together for so long and they’re so quiet about their relationship, I sort of forgot they were together. Well, they’re not together anymore. As you’re probably already guessed, it’s not the kind of split that involved a statement from her publicist about JHud and David remaining best friends.
The glamorous feline rose of New York City Jocelyn Wildenstein and her gaydar-breaking boyfriend Lloyd Klein have both found themselves in a jail cell for allegedly getting violent on each other. Caitlyn Jenner’s face icon was arrested last December after allegedly going cat scratch fever crazy on Lloyd by scratching his face during a fight at her lair in Trump Tower. A quick minute later, Lloyd got arrested for allegedly shoving Jocelyn to the floor when he stopped by her lair to pick up some shit.
Jocelyn should’ve dumped Lloyd and realized that she deserves a human who will treat her like the luxurious pussy she is by delicately feeding her Fancy Feast from a silver spoon. And Lloyd should’ve realized that bad things happen when they get together and went down to a cat shelter to adopt him a new cat friend. But they stayed together, and yesterday morning, they once again got arrested and were hit with his-and-hers misdemeanor assault charges.