Chris Brown was supposed to fight Soulja Boy, one of his many, many enemies, in a messy pay-per-view boxing match. It was all pretty much set-up and ready to go. Soulja Boy was getting training from Floyd Mayweather Jr., Chris Brown was getting training from Mike Tyson, and they were finalizing a location. But Chris Brown has now pulled out. At least that’s what Soulja Boy says.
My thoughts exactly about that headline, Mad Mel.
While promoting his movie Hacksaw Ridge last September, Mel Gibson was asked to shit up his thoughts about the bloated budgets of superhero movies. That led to talk about Batman v. Superman and Mel called it a piece of shit and said he’s not into Spandex and superhero movies:
I’m not interested in the stuff. Do you know what the difference between real superheroes and comic book superheroes is? Real superheroes didn’t wear spandex. So I don’t know. Spandex must cost a lot.
So, since it’s obvious that Mad Mel is the biggest fan of Warner Bros’ superhero movies, they are talking to him about possibly directing the sequel to the critical shit log, but box office hit, Suicide Squad. What a smart decision! That’s as if Hillary Clinton decided to run for president again and asked Susan Sarandon to be her campaign manager.
Fresh off from mistaking a TLC song for a Destiny’s Child song, Karlie Kloss has fucked up again and managed to outdo herself. Karlie went all Shirley MacLaine in My Geisha for a spread in American Vogue.
The battle between Sofia Vergara and her ex Nick Loeb over their frozen embryos has been going on so long that their embryos are probably covered in two-inches of freezer burn at this point. I honestly have no idea how freezing embryos works, and that’s “probably” not what happens. All I really know is that it sounds like Sofia might have found a way to finally end their fight.
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton have been fighting over their 6-year-old son Julian ever since some heavy allegations were made against Robin almost a month ago. Robin ended up losing custody of Julian and the DCFS opened an emotional abuse investigation on Paula. Robin was allowed to see Julian, but he had to have a court appointed monitor present. People has the details of Robin Thicke’s latest showdown in court and it didn’t end well for him. I need to know if that judge responded to Robin Thicke’s request by singing the tune of Blurred Lines and saying “I know you want it, but you’re a baaad daaaad.”
The divorce between Bethenny Frankel, of the Real DrunkMesses New York City, and Jason Hoppy was finally finalized last year after a messy 4-year-long fight, but it looks like the smegma-covered drama lives on. Page Six says that Jason was arrested on Friday and charged with harassing and stalking his ex-wife. Jason reportedly showed up to their 6-year-old daughter’s school and screamed, “I will destroy you,” at Bethenny. Now, I love some Dynasty-like drama that involves a crazy bitch vowing to destroy another, but it kind of ruins the moment when there’s little kids around. Alexis Carrington taught me that when you say the words, “I will destroy you,” you should pause for a second afterward for maximum dramatic effect and it’s kind of hard to do that when children are crying.