You would think being married to one of the founders and most vocal proponents of the Time’s Up movement might have some added benefits such as, helping you develop a more nuanced understanding of sexual politics in the workplace, or, how to craft a winning apology. But apparently that’s not how it works in the Tamblyn-Cross household. David Cross is taking heat for his participation in that New York Times interview with the cast of Arrested Development that should have been called “How To Sink A Show Before It Even Airs”.
Show Dogs is an actual movie about a human cop (played by Will Arnett) and a dog cop (voiced by Ludacris) who go undercover at a fancy dog show in Las Vegas to catch the animal traffickers who stole a baby panda. Think of it as a high-brow Miss Congeniality as reimagined by Merchant Ivory. That mess of a movie may seem like it was 100% made for stoners, but like most stoner movies, it was mostly made for kids. That’s why many are throwing a disgusted side-eye at a couple of messy scenes where the cop dog gets uncomfortable with humans touching his no-no area but puts up with it anyway and is told to go to his happy place. It’s nice to see that Subway Jared is keeping busy in prison by writing movie scripts.
When seven cast members of Arrested Development recently sat down with The New York Times for an interview about the upcoming fifth season, I’m sure they all thought they’d have a great time. (Ron Howard voice) They did not. Jason Bateman came to the defense of on-set jerk Jeffrey Tambor, and while doing so, he simultaneously took a hot cornballer shit all over Jessica Walter’s feelings.
Things have gone from regular ugly, to Cosby mole ugly between Pepa, her young man Aundre Dean, and his pregnant wife. Last week, Sandra “Pepa” Denton tasted the fury of a woman scorned when Jordyn Taylor, Audre’s wife, reposted a picture Pep had shared of her and Aundre hugged up at a Kentucky Derby on his birthday. In the caption, Jordyn called Pepa a “D list senior citizen” and accused Audre of breaking into their apartment and failing to pay child support for their son.
Yesterday we were introduced to some messy NCIS drama between Pauley Perrette and Mark Harmon. Pauley accused a very rich publicity “machine” of keeping her silent about the alleged physical abuse she sustained while working on NCIS. If you were to ask Pauley’s ex-husband Coyote Shivers about it all, he might ask, “Was she the one terrorizing people on set?“. Because according to a recent personal injury case filed by Coyote, Pauley was abusive after their divorce.
UPDATE: The drama never ends… Forget what I wrote below about Thomas Markle going to the wedding. He tells TMZ he’s not going because tomorrow morning, surgeons will open him up, clear the blockage in his heart and put in a stent. Thomas also blames his son’s handwritten open letter to Prince Hot Ginge via InTouch Weekly (the one where his son implores PHG to not marry Megan) for his heart attack. I would say that’s that, but we know it isn’t, because we know Meghan’s shitty half-siblings are going to crash the wedding and tackle her for brainwashing their dad against them. Can’t wait!
Send thoughts, prayers, condolences and the lyrics of a Kelly Clarkson song to my toilet, because for the past couple of days, my body has been possessed by some evil stomach flu (or food poisoning) devil. It’s obvious that the British royal family sent James Bond to California to sprinkle salmonella in the fried chicken I had on Mother’s Day dinner so that I’d be too busy having an exorcism in my bathroom to write about the family drama messiness going down around the royal wedding. Yes, that makes 100% sense!
When I last wrote about the royal wedding situation that’s even messier than the current state of my insides, Thomas Markle told TMZ that he’s not walking Meghan Markle down the aisle this Saturday because he’s not going to London. Thomas Markle claimed he had a heart attack last week, but something called a “serious medical emergency” wasn’t the reason why he wasn’t going to the wedding. Thomas was embarrassed after getting caught taking staged pap pics. Now he’s telling his new best friends at TMZ that he is planning to go to the royal wedding even though his heart isn’t in it. And I’m talking about in a medical way, because he’s apparently having more heart trauma.