Category: MESS

Tamar Braxton’s Marriage Might Not Be Over Just Yet

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Don’t get too excited about the possibility of two tacky coat enthusiasts staying together; this story gets really messy. Last month, we learned that the 8 year marriage between Toni Braxton’s little sister Tamar Braxton and Vince Herbert may be done thanks to her alleged cheating ways. Today we learn that not only are they not getting divorced, but they’re actually in a good place, relationship-wise. At least according to Tamar and Vince, who are in no way doing damage control after a violent incident that may or may not have happened at an Atlanta hotel on Sunday.

Conrad Hilton Struck (Literally) Again

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Conrad Hilton strut out of the clink just two weeks ago, and now his daddy’s got to clean up another mess he may have produced. And this latest mess involves drunk driving, barf and a broken bong. (Pour out some used bong water for that broken bong.) The current reigning pride of the Hilton family has been sued by a woman who claims that last May, 22-year-old Conrad crashed his daddy’s white Range Rover head-first into her car and was dazed, confused and covered with barf. Hmm… I guess Parasite Hilton’s one-time frenemy Lindsay Lohan taught a young Conrad Hilton how to drive.

Surprise, Surprise: The “Ben-Hur” Remake That Nobody Asked For Is A Box Office Bomb

August 22, 2016 / Posted by:

“Note to self: Fire my managers, agents and anyone else who thought doing this shit show of biblical proportions was a good idea.” – Morgan Freeman in that picture. It looks like his horse is thinking the same thing too.

Pretty much nobody thought to themselves “#ImWithHur” and acted upon it this past weekend, because it totally flopped at the domestic box office. Deadline reports that Ben-Hur got pounded by Sausage PartySuicide Squad and War Dogs(That sounds like the most messed-up orgy ever.) Ben-Hur brought in a whopping $11 million, which is nearly 1/10th of the $100 million it cost to make. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who already made a lot of money off of the Bible, produced this wreck, so I have a feeling that the next time they pray to Jesus, they’re going to be hit with an error 404, because he just can’t with them right now.

The Brazilian Police Are Recommending That Ryan Lochte and James Feigen Get Their Asses Indicted

August 18, 2016 / Posted by:

“And I’m like, ‘Whatever,'” is probably what Ryan Lochte’s response to that news since his ass is far away from Brazil.

ABC News says that after investigating, the police in Rio believe that the dimmest dolphin in the pod, Ryan Lochte, and his teammate James Feigen should be indicted for filing a fraudulent police report. The case is with prosecutors who will decide whether or not to make that happen. James is still in Rio, so if he’s indicted, he could find himself in handcuffs, but most likely not. A Brazilian judge said that they won’t go prison. They’ll most likely just have to pay a fine.

Ryan is somewhere probably not giving a fuck since he’s in the U.S. and the false police report charge isn’t extraditable. But Ryan is still sticking with his story and is screaming, “Unjeah!” over some of the reports he’s seeing. Unjeah is the opposite of jeah, right?

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Escândalo: Ryan Lochte’s Teammates Have Reportedly Told Cops That They Made Up The Robbery Story

August 18, 2016 / Posted by:

One good thing to come out of this tale of dumb fuckery is that I learned that “scandal” in Portuguese is also “escândalo.” I lit up like Ryan Lochte after finally winning a game of Rocks, Paper, Siccor.

And in today’s episode of “This Is What Happens When Ryan Lochte Tries To Mastermind An Elaborate Lie,” we learn that he and three other U.S. swimmers were probably not robbed at gunpoint by thieves pretending to be cops. Ryan’s story started falling apart a quick minute after he opened up his mouth and now it’s a bigger mess than that hair color. Last night, authorities in Brazil pulled two of the swimmers, Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz, off of a flight for questioning, and they stopped the fourth swimmer, Jimmy Feigen, from leaving the country. And today, the Associated Press reports that Jack and Gunnar told authorities that they made up the robbery story. I’m sure that all of this will be seen in Netflix’s new investigative series titled Making A Moron.

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Lady Gaga Is Really Going To Be In “A Star Is Born,” And Other Bits Of Casting News

August 16, 2016 / Posted by:

It feels like I was slapped in the face with casting news after casting news today, and sadly for me, none of the news is about how Hollywood is doing something right for once by making an all-gay reboot of Showgirls called Showgays starring Matt Boner and Cheyenne Jackson. I’ve lumped up all the news into one post and it works because every one of these projects has the potential to be a big, sloppy, gay mess or just a big, sloppy mess.

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