Almost two weeks ago, Ciara decided she was done fighting with her ex-fiancé Future and dropped her $15 million defamation lawsuit against him. As much as Ciara would love for Future to disappear from her life for good, that’s not going to happen. Ciara and Future share a two-year-old son Future Zahir. They’ve been fighting over who gets custody of Baby Future, but that fight is over now too.
Ciara and Future originally agreed to joint custody back when they first split up, but then he got mad at her for letting Baby Future spend time with Russell Wilson, which turned into a defamation lawsuit, which prompted Ciara to attempt to get sole custody as a “fuck you” to her ex. Sources tell TMZ that Ciara and Future have recently agreed on joint custody. However, Baby Future will spend most of the time with his mommy. So Ciara sort of gets that sole custody that she wanted before, but in a far less dirty way.
The reason Ciara will haev so much time with Baby Future is because Daddy Future is on the road a lot. The source states that when Future is back home in Atlanta, he’ll have “reasonable access” to Baby Future. Seeing the words “reasonable” made me nervous, because if there’s one word I would never use to describe Ciara and Future’s relationship with each other, it’s “reasonable.” But TMZ’s source seems to think this situation won’t turn ugly again. Apparently Ciara and Future just want to close this chapter and move on with their lives. I hope so! Ciara is about to be a mom again, and I’m sure the last thing she wants to do is deal with both a screaming baby and a screaming baby daddy.
Chris Brown and Soulja Boy are apparently still going through with that boxing match. Soulja Boy, who claims the fight is happening in March in either Las Vegas or Los Angeles and not Dubai, hired Floyd Mayweather Jr. to train him. Chris Brown has proven repeatedly that he’s proficient at punching and doesn’t technically need a trainer, but he got one anyway. Chris Brown has hired Mike Tyson as his coach. “Why did I just get the chills?” thought every operator of a domestic violence hotline. One of Mike’s first duties as Chris Brown’s team was to release a diss track aimed at Soulja Boy called If You Show Up.
Paula Patton filed for divorce from human pantyliner Robin Thicke more than two years ago, but things have recently gotten very messy between the two of them. I didn’t think it was possible for the situation between Paula and Robin to get worse than that awful album he made to try to win her back, but it has.
Just when I thought that today’s “news” day was going to be drier than a cooch after seeing that shot of Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson, I came across some red alarm-worthy news about The Fat Jew (Google him, you dumb fuck) and Wendy Williams.
While Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may have closed the door to their fucked-up divorce fight and put a “privacy please” sign on it (for now), the door to Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s fucked-up divorce fight remains wide open.
But while many sprained the muscles in their face from cringing over Tom Hiddleston’s self-absorbed acceptance speech, I nearly squirted out a tear over how he and Taylor Swift didn’t make it past the contract renegotiation stage. I learned last night that they are really perfect for each other. They both seem to love a shameless photo-op and they both have a gift for making absolutely everything about them. They really were a match made in ME ME ME HELL.