Today In Flaming Messes: The Writer Of The Aziz Ansari Story Is Beefing With Ashleigh Banfield Of HLN
Over the weekend, a site called Babe.net (which, contrary to my first guess, isn’t a soft-core porn site devoted to pigs from Australia) posted a piece from a writer named Katie Way about a young woman, going by the name Grace, who went on a shitty date with 34-year-old Aziz Ansari. The date ended with her using a Chore Boy to scrub the thick layer of ICK off of her. Grace, who was 22 at the time, said that Aziz pressured her into having sex even though she let him know with her words and body language that she didn’t want to go there. Allison covered the entire story if you missed it.
Grace’s story brought out many different opinions, of course. Some praised Grace for telling her story since they felt men need to take a crash course at The Learning Annex on How To Fucking Get A Clue. Some felt that Babe.net was shamelessly trying to get clicks by naming Aziz Ansari in a piece that was basically revenge porn. Others felt it was wrong of Babe.net to inject a story about a bad date into the same vein as the #MeToo movement. HLN host Ashleigh Banfield is with the second and third group and she shared her thoughts on her show Crime & Justice.
A producer from Crime & Justice e-mailed Katie Way to invite her to come onto the show. Katie didn’t give a simple “no.” She gave a “no” and followed it with a mega junior high school dragging that I’m surprised didn’t end with her saying, “Oh, and that Ashleigh bitch has totally got split ends. Gross!” Katie made it clear that she will never share screen time with that bad highlights-having, burgundy lipstick-wearing nobody old hag! I know, what did burgundy lipstick do to anybody…besides make them look like a chola vampire (which is always a good thing, by the way)?
Bringing a piece back to your place after a first date is never a good idea. One, you don’t really know them. Two, they could be one of those freaks who are into cuddling after fucking, and it’s always awkward to kick a one-night-stand out of your house. You should only hook up with a first date in your car or the bar bathroom. That’s what smart people do! But some high-profile millionaire lawyer in Houston broke my first date rule by bringing his piece back to his mansion, and it ended with him having to call his insurance company after some of his precious art was damaged and with her getting a mug shot worthy of the Faces of Meth Hall Of Fame.
You would think that the people who are happiest about Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle getting married would be Prince Hot Ginge, Meghan Markle and the makers of coats, but nobody is happier than her half-sister Samantha Grant! Because Samantha can cash in now that her half-sister is marrying into the British royal family. See, monarchy haters, the British royals create jobs. They even created a full-time opportunist attention whore job for an American!
Yesterday, Mieka brought us the news that one of the former First Sons of Alaska, 28-year-old Track Palin, was arrested on domestic violence charges on Saturday. At the time we only knew that Track’s latest act of violent foolery involved his dad Todd Palin (seen above with Mama Grizzly in 2010). Now we know that the incident did involve Todd, specifically Todd getting his head repeatedly bashed in by his son’s fist. TLC is probably slapping themselves in the face for canceling Sarah Palin’s show way too early and losing out on sad and messy family situations like this one.
25-year-old Frances Bean Cobain is almost divorced. Hooray for her! But sadly, it’s not totally over yet.
Frances got married to Isaiah Silva back in September 2015, and split from him ten months later. Frances and Isaiah’s separation has been messy. Isaiah claimed custody of a guitar that once belonged to Frances’ dad Kurt Cobain. He says Frances gave it to him as a wedding gift, but she denies that and wants it back. Isaiah also tried to come for $300,000 a year in spousal support. At one point, Courtney Love and her pal Sam Lutfi were reportedly involved in Frances’ Not Without My Dad’s Guitar saga.
Jennifer Hudson and former professional wrestler David Otunga (aka Punk from I Love New York) have been together for so long and they’re so quiet about their relationship, I sort of forgot they were together. Well, they’re not together anymore. As you’re probably already guessed, it’s not the kind of split that involved a statement from her publicist about JHud and David remaining best friends.