Category: Melania Trump

THE QUEEN Was Waiting Around For The Trumps To Arrive To Their First Meeting

July 13, 2018 / Posted by:

First dates are always like walking on eggshells: you best keep the conversation light, dress impeccably, and – above all – don’t keep your trick waiting on you to arrive at the restaurant. Well, Donald Trump must not have gotten that memo because on his first meeting with THE QUEEN today, some are saying QE2 was left waiting around for Donald and Melania Trump to stroll up to kiss the ring and curtsy. What’s next? Sleeveless dresses?! Continue reading

Melania Trump Really Outdid Those Hurricane Heels 

June 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Ann Coulter, the hemorrhoid that a Ninth Circle rat chewed off of Lucifer’s asshole and barfed into a puddle of acid where it mutated into a shit-spewing demon, accused the detention camp children of being crisis actors. Well, Melania Trump heard what Ann Coulter said and decided to show a bitch what crisis acting really is when she showed up to the New Hope Children’s Center in McAllen, TX today and pretended to care about the 60 immigrant kids and teens from Central America who are being detained there. But before Melania acted like she cared, she told us that she really doesn’t by wearing a jacket that read “I Really Don’t Care. Do U?” as she boarded the plane headed to Texas. In Melania’s defense, she was probably forced to wear that because it’s the new official uniform of the Trump family.

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Peter Fonda Is Sorry For The Barron Trump Tweet That The Secret Service Was Notified About 

June 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Because Kathy Griffin had such a great experience with her own Presidential issues, Peter Fonda decided that he too would make a serious statement speaking out against Melania Trump pretty much doing nothing and saying not much about her captor/sugar daddy shrugging as crying children were ripped from their families at the border and put into cages (cages that are not even 1/10000000000th as luxurious as Melania’s gilded cage). Ole’ Pete went in. You know those Fondas: love to make a statement. Continue reading

It Took Donald Trump Several Hours To Make It To The Hospital To Visit Melania

May 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Even though the Trump White House may spring more leaks than the Titanic, we were all kind of surprised that nobody knew about Melania Trump’s kidney surgery yesterday until after she had made it to the hospital. Then, we found out Donald Trump couldn’t even be bothered to go with her to the hospital and were all like, “OK, whew. Nothing’s changed.” But shame on you! He DID make it to the hospital, after all – just after he could make a few phone calls and nibble on lunch with Mike Pence. Continue reading

Donald Trump Jr. And Vanessa Trump Spent Easter Together

April 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Easter is that holiday where everyone hides gin or their choice of sin sauce in eggs around the house and backyard to go find and take a quick shot just so you can stomach a brunch buffet with whatever relatives you’re having to deal with this year. At least, that’s how we celebrate it in in my house. Presumably, that’s how the Trump’s celebrate it, too, (along with every other day of the year) because – pending divorce be damned – Donald Trump Jr. and Vanessa Trump spent it together down at Mar-a-Lago. Continue reading

Stormy Daniels Denies She Had An Affair With Donald Trump, But Played Coy About Her Denial On “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

January 31, 2018 / Posted by:

Earlier this month, InTouch re-published a 2011 interview they did with porn star Stormy Daniels about an alleged affair she had with Donald Trump five years earlier. Stormy allegedly broke a $130,000 a month settlement agreement and an NDA to do that interview.

Trump has denied the affair every took place (an affair that allegedly took place right after Melania Trump gave birth to Barron). Melania may have responded by bailing on a work gig in Switzerland. And then, on the eve of last night’s State of the Union address, Stormy released a statement denying with absolute certainty that the affair never took place. Stormy also appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, and here’s the thing – she’s not so sure about the legitimacy of that statement either.

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