Every time Ivana Trump sits down to do an interview I get real excited with the hope that some juicy (and actionable) tidbit about Donald Trump will “innocently” slip from her exuberantly painted lips. But she’s very careful. Since she walked back those early rape allegations a while back, she’s mostly kept her gossip very shady and directed at easy target Melania Trump. Even if she’s chosen not to bring down the current administration (because there’s a chance she could if she wanted to), she still can’t resist subtly dragging Donny and his “new” wife whenever she gets the chance.
Laura Benanti, Cecily Strong, whoever Melania Trump’s double is and every other actress who has contorted her face into the “constipated while sucking on a lemon” position to play the First Lady can go ahead and hang up her pussy bow blouse and hurricane heels, because Courtney Stodden has got this.
There’s been a fascinating rumor or, conspiracy theory if you will, floating around Twitter that Melania Trump ain’t always who she seems to be. It all began when a keen-eyed skeptic noted that the woman standing next to Trump during a speech didn’t look quite right. According to the New York Daily News, Zapruder film levels of evidence was posted to Twitter by a guy named Joe Vargas, AKA BuyLegalMeds.com.
The least surprising thing about the Trump presidency is that his current wife Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) and his ex-wife Ivana Trump have both come down with cat-scratch fever and are battling it out in the press and on TV. In the Trump era, nothing is considered inappropriate, undignified, or “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST LADY, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE EVEN A MOMENT TO ADDRESS THIS CHICK’S TAUNTS. PUERTO RICO IS STILL A DISASTER AREA. DID YOU STOP BULLYING, YET? IT’S ALL ABOUT PRIORITIES, CAPTAIN HURRICANE STILETTOS!”
Ivana is selling a book about raising her and Donald’s awful children, and her marketing ploy of dragging the First Lady worked. Because the First Lady responded. So Ivana went on Wendy Williams to respond to Melania’s response. Continue reading
Donald Trump is the cattiest queen of the Trump family, but it looks like Ivana Trump learned a thing or two from him, because she used one manicured paw to drag Trump wife #2 Marla Maples by the hair and used her other manicured paw to drag current Trump wife Melania Trump by the hair. And yes, Andy Cohen is loving this Real Trumpwives of Shitsville reunion moment.
We’re only four months into America’s highest rated reality TV show, “What The Entire Fuck?!,” where president Donald Trump straps on his finest wig every day to speak fluent gibberish and insult everyone, while his wife Melania desperately tries to find ways to get herself deported so she doesn’t have to be the First Lady anymore. Back in 2005 when the two of them got married, I’m sure she thought to herself, “Yaaaass!! A bitch about to get PAID!!!”
Slow down there melty-face. Because now, twelve years later, you’re in the middle of one of the biggest shit storms of modern history. And we all know you’re not here for any of it.