Who needs Russian hackers to take over the United States when all it takes is a celebrity mildly offending the Trumps to send the entire White House into a tailspin? Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have showed the red phone on the Oval Office desk apparently is a direct line to both Russia AND the Kardashian Koven, as those two drop by about as often as Kellyanne Conway. Kim may be there just for criminal justice reform, but Yeezy is all about that #MAGA, and that doesn’t fly with the rap community. T.I. dropped a video on Twitter where he heads to the Oval Office without Donald Trump but with what is supposed to be Melania Trump – and she’s getting naked. As you might expect, the East Wing didn’t care for that…and now says to boycott T.I.
The most bullied person in the world Melania Trump is finally speaking out about that tacky as fuck Zara jacket that she wore in June during her visit to the facility housing children separated from their immigrant parents on the US-Mexico border. Melania gave an interview to ABC News that aired last night, and she was able to skirt around a few issues, including how she felt about Trump’s numerous affairs and that Access Hollywood “grab ’em by the Kit-Kat” tape. But one issue she did come clean about is THAT JACKET and why the crap she decided to wear it on her visit to the children’s detention center, when she should have just worn her 101 Dalmatians puppy fur coat instead.
In “Woe is me, I’m completely out of touch” news, Melania Trump spoke with ABC News and farted up a whole ton of nonsense. Which is shocking because a woman who immigrated through the use of an Einstein Visa should probably be chalk full of intelligent wisdom.
First dates are always like walking on eggshells: you best keep the conversation light, dress impeccably, and – above all – don’t keep your trick waiting on you to arrive at the restaurant. Well, Donald Trump must not have gotten that memo because on his first meeting with THE QUEEN today, some are saying QE2 was left waiting around for Donald and Melania Trump to stroll up to kiss the ring and curtsy. What’s next? Sleeveless dresses?! Continue reading
Ann Coulter, the hemorrhoid that a Ninth Circle rat chewed off of Lucifer’s asshole and barfed into a puddle of acid where it mutated into a shit-spewing demon, accused the detention camp children of being crisis actors. Well, Melania Trump heard what Ann Coulter said and decided to show a bitch what crisis acting really is when she showed up to the New Hope Children’s Center in McAllen, TX today and pretended to care about the 60 immigrant kids and teens from Central America who are being detained there. But before Melania acted like she cared, she told us that she really doesn’t by wearing a jacket that read “I Really Don’t Care. Do U?” as she boarded the plane headed to Texas. In Melania’s defense, she was probably forced to wear that because it’s the new official uniform of the Trump family.
Because Kathy Griffin had such a great experience with her own Presidential issues, Peter Fonda decided that he too would make a serious statement speaking out against Melania Trump pretty much doing nothing and saying not much about her captor/sugar daddy shrugging as crying children were ripped from their families at the border and put into cages (cages that are not even 1/10000000000th as luxurious as Melania’s gilded cage). Ole’ Pete went in. You know those Fondas: love to make a statement. Continue reading