The world may be a mean, nasty place going to shit (and that’s just Twitter), but the heavens opened a glimmer last night…and it surprisingly had something to do with Simon Cowell. When former Hot Slut of the Week Susan Boyle first appeared on Britain’s Got Talent in 2009, her voice of an angel melted even the most cynical, breathing lumps of coal hearts most of us around here are known to have. Thanks to her genuinely innocent ways to Pebbles the cat, she became a star. Susan has had a tough road to fame with pain-in-the-ass celebrities and singers not necessarily being the nicest about her upstaging them on their own music, but she may not be as delicate a flower as we once thought. She’s returning to compete and was on the stage for America’s Got Talent: The Champions last night.
Does Victoria Beckham have an alibi?? Mel B hasn’t had the easiest few years with her divorce proceedings and the whole back and forth on whether the Spice Girls were going to get back together and make that money. The gals (sans Posh) are reuniting for a tour, but even that isn’t without its hiccups. The same day she was scheduled to fly to California from London, Mel had a scary incident that somehow involved broken ribs, an injured hand, and emergency surgery.
Mel B’s book Brutally Honest is coming out soon, and she and the publishers are selling it like a Mary Kay saleswoman circa 1987 who is just 50 Magic Masques away from getting that pink Cadillac. They’re releasing excerpts from her book that are a mixture of disturbing and ESCANDALOSO like how she snorted six lines of coke a day during The X Factor and was left traumatized after having to watch the dozens of illegal sex tapes her smegma bubble of an ex-husband made without her consent. But the story that made me stop, drop, and roll was the one about how Mel B supposedly met up with two famous dudes after meeting them on a secret hookup website where single famous men allegedly post dick pics.
So Scary Spice is telling me that somewhere on the internet exists a place where there’s picture after picture of a hard dick of a celebrity and the celebrity posts it himself? Does the site’s intro page look like this?
Apparently there’s a Sliding Doors-style alternate universe in which Scary Spice is the one that doesn’t come back for a reunion tour. In Mel B’s memoir Brutally Honest, which comes out next week, she says that she once swallowed 200 pills in an attempt to leave her marriage to Stephen Belafonte.
The Spice Girls are going on a reunion tour that currently only six dates and 80% of the original lineup. Entertainment Tonight says they stopped by the Heart Breakfast radio show this morning (of which Emma Bunton is a co-host) to talk about the tour and drum up some ticket sales, which officially go on sale this weekend. Even though Victoria Beckham has made it very clear she’s not joining them, noted Posh troll Mel B hinted that she might show up.
On Halloween night, Scary Spice lived up to her name by dressing as the most terrifying thing she could think of. Mel B went as a banshee who continues to haunt Victoria Beckham’s life by never shutting up about that damn Spice Girls reunion tour.