A real-life Dynasty story arc came to be last year when Catherine Oxenberg (that’s Amanda Carrington #1 to us Dynasty tramps) began a public mission to free her 27-year-old daughter India Oxenberg from the cult NXIVM. It was the first time I had heard of NXIVM, and to me it sounded like the name of a non-FDA-approved knock-off of Nexium that can only be bought from the trunk a Toyota parked in a Tijuana alley way. If NXIVM was a medicine, side effects would include suddenly developing an ugly brand on your skin, getting shot nerves from Chloe from Smallville yelling at you, and ending up with a brainwashed brain.
Catherine actually got India into NXIVM after hearing it was some kind of self-help group. Catherine checked out of it because she found it creepy, but India stayed. Catherine didn’t think anything of India staying until she heard that India had been recruited into the harem of NXIVM’s founder Keith Raniere. India had gotten scary skinny and her hair was falling out. Catherine begged India to come home, but India didn’t and ended up going radio silent on her family. Since then, Catherine has been working to get India out, and on Megyn Kelly Today, she pretty much said that her daughter is out. Praise Bea (Arthur, who is the God of my religion)!
Every former Miss Kentucky that works at Fox News has most definitely been taking bets in the break room over what “LIBERAL ELITE MOONBAT HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY!” would play her in the upcoming movie about the women of Fox News and how they dealt with Roger Ailes. While I still think Snooki should play Kimberly Guilfoyle (no offense, Snook), we at least know who two Fox alums will be portrayed by. Y’all already knew that Charlize Theron has been rehearsing “Santa is white…get over it” for a while now to get into her part as Megyn Kelly, but now you’ll get to see Nicole Kidman at Gretchen Carlson because, um, I guess if you have glaucoma, those two look alike?
Fans of the fourth hour of the Today show might no longer have to until 10:00am to get secondhand blitzed on morning wine. According to Page Six, Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb might move up an hour to the 9:00 time slot. But wait, isn’t that Megyn Kelly’s spot? Yeah, possibly not any more.
Sadly, Charlize Theron won’t be playing Megyn Kelly in a drama about her getting roasted to dust by Jane Fonda. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Charlize Theron and director Jay Roach are getting together to work on a biopic about the sexual assault allegations against the late Roger Ailes.
Charlize will play Megyn in the currently-untitled Roger Ailes film, and will also serve as one of the film’s producer (Annapurna will be financing and producing). It will reportedly center around the multiple sexual assault allegations made against Roger Ailes back in 2016, beginning with the sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Gretchen Carlson. It’s rumored that Gretchen will likely be a character in this film. Also possible characters to be included are Greta Van Susteren, Rupert Murdoch, and Bill O’Reilly.
Megyn’s role in the film will most likely echo what was happening in real life at the time of the accusations. Megyn was at Fox News for over a decade when she was given her own show, The Kelly File. Megyn never came out and said it, but sources claimed she told investigators that Roger had allegedly sexually harassed her when she first started at Fox News a decade earlier. Her story was rumored to be the final nail in Roger’s coffin at Fox. Fox News allegedly tried to pressure Megyn into defending Roger when the allegations first came out, but Megyn refused.
I can totally see Charlize as Megyn Kelly, because Charlize fully commits to a role transformation. I just hope she prepares her gag reflex as much as she prepares squinting her eyes and working a smug smile. All that inevitable vomit-triggering talk about raw hamburger crotch meat is bound to do a number on her stomach.
The 2018 TIME 100 Gala was held last night in New York City to celebrate Time magazine’s annual list of the 100 most influential people. And whether the people were influential or not, the red carpet fashion pulled from a variety of sources. Like Leslie Jones in Christian Siriano, who is giving you Grace Jones after stopping at Studio 54 while thinking,”I wonder what the rent is on this place? Do they pay monthly or yearly? You know what, hand me my coke spoon and purse, I’m leaving to pursue a career in commercial real estate.”
When Megyn Kelly’s prime-time NBC News program Sunday Night with Megyn Kelly premiered last June, one of her hopes should have been that NBC won’t drag it to the curb on trash day. Because according to Page Six, it sounds like that’s what’s happening.