When it was revealed that Megyn Kelly would no longer be haunting the 3rd hour of the Today show, I pictured how Jane “We Really Want To Talk About That Now?” Fonda responded to the news. Is there a word for a joy so dangerously intense it risks blowing your head clean off your neck? Even if there is,that’s not what Jane Fonda was feeling.
As we saw yesterday, the Today show team dressed in an 80s theme with Al Roker donning a Dollar Store fright wig to portray Doc Brown (of the irony) from Back To The Future. Because we’re living in the upside down where grown men and women pretend to be dumber than a box of rocks (or in some cases just are), some folks cried that Al’s costume was racist. Le sigh. Yes, we are really still doing this. In response to the online criticism, Al #tooktotwitter to defend his right to play a character who was played by a white man in a movie about a time traveling car that runs on garbage.
Almost one year ago, as Today interns were packing up Matt Lauer’s things into a box while security deactivated his ID card, the NBC executed were trying to figure out how many zeros would go on his going-away check. Matt still had a year and a half on his $20 million a year contract, and he wanted all of it. He reportedly didn’t get anything. Megyn Kelly too has gotten the ol’ heave-ho from Today, and according to Deadline, NBC doesn’t want to pay up.
It would seem that NBC is wasting no time in dusting off the blonde hairs from Megyn Kelly’s chair at the Today show and filling it with her replacement. And it looks like NBC might be going with the person she unceremoniously replaced last year, Al Roker.
Well, are you happy now!? You’ve ruined the fun for everybody. You complained about Megyn Kelly being a rancid troll when she defended blackface and followed it up with a sea of crocodile tears and a Dollar Store apology, and now, according to multiple sources, she’s in contract negotiations to secure her bag before her “imminent” departure from NBC. Now we’re not going to get a chance to see whatever she had planned for her Today Halloween costume! Why do you think she said blackface is A-OK in the first place!? She was preparing us. She was probably planning on coming out, live on TV, dressed up as Kanye West and now we’ll never know!
Kathie Lee Gifford just told the full-time bartender in her dressing room to pull out the good stuff, because it’s time to celebrate now that it looks like the head bitches at NBC News are finally dumping the blonde reason for why the Happy Hour of Today (read: the fourth hour starring KLG and Hoda Kotb) is getting lower ratings. And then KLG will kick her leg, hop onto the cabaret stage she had built in her dressing room next to the bar, and belt out, “Grey skies are gonna cleeeeear up,” as her assistants ask the bartender for a stiff shot since they’re going to need it if their boss is starting off the day with show tunes.
Just a quick minute after Megyn Kelly dribbled out a canned apology for being a college educated 47-year-old former lawyer and “journalist” who has lived in New York City for years and didn’t know that blackface is racist, The Hollywood Reporter said that a source whispered in their ear about the demise of her show at Today. NBC News is reportedly going to put Megyn Kelly Today out of its misery at the end of this year. Megyn is currently in the middle of a $69 million three-year contract with NBC News. Cut to Black Santa sauntering up to Megyn to give her the gift of a pink slip this Christmas.