Because they couldn’t sit and watch the British tabloids shit all over their friend and drag her, Duchess Meghan’s friends have defended her to People Magazine. They give statement after statement about how amazing and kind and fabulous and not at all a huge bitch, she is. The writers at The Daily Mail and The Sun are probably cracking their knuckles and stretching while getting ready to fight back with stories about how Meghan was spotted at a voice coach’s office in London, weeks before People’s cover story came out, which obviously means she was preparing to do the various voices of the “sources” defending her. Continue reading
Last month we heard that 37-year-old Duchess Meghan used her wedding as an excuse to bully 36-year-old Duchess Kate to the point that she cried. People is reporting that they now have a source who is confirming that rich woman royals tears were shed during the nuptials, and not because it was such a beautiful ceremony. A family friend of the royals has confirmed to People that the Duchesses did indeed get into several elegant kerfuffles during the wedding process, saying they “clashed” leading up to the royal wedding in May.
This just in! Duchess Meghan owns a camera and took a photo of her husband, Prince Harry! Then that photo was uploaded to the Kensington Palace Twitter page! Get out your royal journal and mark October 27, 2018 as another Meghan “first” underneath the entry for “Meghan eats her first Vegemite toast.“ Royals- they’re just like us!
Samantha Markle is here to make it clear: she did not get turned away from Kensignton Palace. Sure, it looked like she was being told to step-the fuck aside and leave the premises before being escorted away, but that’s not at all what happened. Okay? She is a respectable member of the almost-Royal Family, okay? Samantha Markle is that bitch.
If you can believe a string of reports, it’s been all laughs and giggles at Buckingham Palace ever since Duchess Meghan arrived. She, Queen Elizabeth, and the corgis all wear matching “Pink Ladies” jackets and terrorize the outsiders of their clique by doing shit like putting Whoopee Cushions under Duchess Kate’s chair cushion at dinner. The Queen may have banned Meghan from eating her favorite food, but she has taken to her in other ways and feels bad for her opportunistic family blabbing to the British tabloids. While shit like that used to get your ass sent to the Tower of London, these days it just causes The Queen to hold Meghan close to her bosom and whisper sweet nothings of support.
“The hell?!?,” Meghan’s former dog Bogart barked angrily after hearing this news.
People reports that the pants-wearing attempted British Monarchy destroyer Duchess Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have adopted a dog. The pooch (whose name isn’t known yet – Prince Woofington?) is believed to be a Labrador, and they took him from a rescue shelter to riches earlier this summer.