Tomorrow we find out if all the hard work and hand jobs Ryan Reynolds has been giving have paid off when the Oscar nominations are announced. But today we find out whose lazy hand job of a performance was rewarded with a 2017 Razzie nomination
There was a nominations sweep at this year’s Razzies. Zoolander 2 got 9 nominations, followed closely behind by Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice with 8. Sorry, 1997’s Batman and Robin, it looks like you’re still the Batman movie with the most Razzie nominations. But don’t worry, there’s a chance that Batman movie written and directed by Ben Affleck could happen.
Jared Leto’s award dreams came true in the most Twilight Zone-y of ways. He’s not going to get the Oscar nomination he was no doubt sure he was going to get, but he did get a Worst Supporting Actor Razzie for Suicide Squad. And Julia Roberts’ performance as Lady Wearing a Bad Wig in Mother’s Day earned her a Worst Actress nomination. That wig didn’t get a Worst Supporting Actor nomination, because of course it didn’t; that wig worked its ass off and supported her like a load-bearing beam.
And Ben Affleck received his 10th Razzie nomination today. The big one-zero! He should go out and celebrate tonight for reaching a career milestone. Maybe his BFF Tom Brady will treat Ben to a steamed green bean and unseasoned fish dinner at his house.
The list of nominees is after the cut.
Brian Austin Green has two reasons to celebrate today. Dude is a father for the fourth time, and Megan Fox’s womb is free for him to wet hump another ATM baby into during make-up sex after she threatens him with divorce again. David Silver has truly come along way.
Megan and BAG were planning to get a divorce last year, but they never stopped living together and eventually made another baby. The divorce is now off. E! News says that Megan birthed out their third baby last Thursday. Megan had another boy, and she and BAG did not disappoint when it came to naming him.
Will Arnett Brought So Many Young Women To Set, Megan Fox Joked Craft Services Should Start Supplying Lunchables
If I’ve learned anything from Megan Fox’s promo tour for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, it’s that her thoughts are powered by a stoned hamster casually strolling on a wheel made of dried sage stems and crystals. She’s talked about string theory and the pyramids and how the baby currently living inside her is a telepathic real estate genius. On Conan last night, it looks like she finally gave the hamster a night off, because she stopped giving us more crystal shop knowledge. Instead she channeled her inner Jeff Ross and put on an impromptu roast of her TMNT co-star Will Arnett and his skirt-chasing ways.
Will is a horny single 46-year-old Hollywood actor, which means the recommended age for his dating pool is women who were conceived during the final season of The Commish. So of course Will had a rotating lineup of young ladies joining him on set every day during filming. And when I say “young“, I mean young enough that it made Megan wonder if she should bring in some of her kids’ Lunchables from home to give his girlfriends something to snack on as they waited for him.
“They were progressively getting younger and younger as the weeks went on, and it got to the point where I was like, ‘Buddy, I’m worried. Should I talk to craft service and make sure they have Lunchables for your girlfriend?’ There’s no food here with cartoon characters on it.”
How young were these girls that Will was bringing to set? Should Chris Hansen be concerned? I think the biggest clue would be how excited they were to be on set. See, anyone under the age of 18 would be bored to death watching a bunch of grown men wearing CGI suits covered in motion-capture ping pong balls. An of-age starfucker, on the other hand, would be like a kid in a candy store. “Ooooh, do you play Matthewangelo or Donatello Versace? Are you getting paid a lot of money for this? Listen, here’s my number. Knowing Will Arnett, I probably won’t be back tomorrow, so give me a call?”
In her ongoing quest to insure that the public knows that she knows “stuff,” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (I’m so glad for them) star Megan Fox got highly serious with the LA Times. In an interview promoting a film called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (sorry, it bore repeating) Fox went in on deep stuff like string theory, what the Egyptian pyramids were really for, and how we the aforementioned public are just ass-brained animals believing everything we read because we continue to leave her intellect unrecognized.
Class begins after the jump!
“Oh fuck my nerves with a butter knife dipped in acid, she’s about to have another thought…” – that dude on the right
Anyone who has been lucky enough to use their brain to ingest at least one Megan Fox interview knows that she is a never-ending fountain of wisdom, and melted plastic, but mostly wisdom. And on Jimmy Kimmel Live! (via E!) last night, Megan said that the unborn baby growing in her body has definitely inherited her super genius gene, because it has told her that it’s either going to be a Nazi rocket maker or an electric car mogul. Megan’s third baby also told her to move houses. Somewhere, scientists studying the long-term effects of Botox use have added, “hearing fetus voices,” to the list of shit to look into.