Despite it looking like Dakota Johnson is ready to heave first trimester barfs into the nearest Ellen-branded coffee mug in that image above, that’s not what’s happening here. At least according to Dakota, who is again shutting down any possible pregnancy rumors that may be tagging along behind her name this week.
We’re nearly twenty days into Royal Duchess Bumpwatch 2018, and according to Cosmopolitan, there’s been a new development. So far any pregnancy suspicions have mostly been based on clothing, specifically how baggy, loose, dark, or ruffled in the midsection they may be. Now people are analyzing Duchess Meghan’s hair.
It sometimes feels as though there are two schools of dressing when it comes to the couture of the Cannes Film Festival. One, wear only enough fabric not to get arrested for breaking a public indecency law. Or two, wear so much fabric, people will think you recently invested in a discount textile company. Diane Kruger showed up to Cannes wearing a whole lot of fabric, but according to Page Six, it’s because she might be trying to cover up a baby bump.
If you’re still waiting for the middle-aged teens from The Real Housewives of Atlanta to finally grow up and act their age, then please have a seat, because that won’t be happening any time soon. Why you ask? Because it’s REUNION TIME! And you know that the Housewives like to turn up and turn it all the way out with their brand of craziness during reunions while show creator/host Andy Cohen giggles and squeals like a group of twelve-year-olds on a shopping spree at Forever 21.
It’s honestly a toss-up as to whether Mariah Carey or Kim Kardashian wins the telenovela award for dramatizing her pregnancy days more. While Mimi gave us HSN gold and stopped with dem babies, Kimmy is ready for more buns… just not in her own oven. Sources tell Us Weekly that Kim and Kanye West chose a surrogate who is now three months along with our next shot at getting a South West! Southwest Airlines better get in line at the trademark office. (“No fucking shit!” –Kylie Minogue)
It was reported back in June that a $45,000 carrot was dangled in front of the surrogate to live like Tom Brady for nine months. I get that’s what expectant mothers are supposed to do anyway, but, well, you’ll have to come pry the tequila bottle out of my cold hands (yes, I also understand that I don’t have a uterus). The surrogate nabs an extra $5,000 for each additional child on top of the nearly $70,000 deposit given to the agency. That’s a lotta Kimojis!
It’s still all rumor right now, but, if true, the new tot should arrive in January – just in time to sign a contract to be a visible part of Grammy Kris’s Koven for the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians!
Less than a month after a stripper-turned-Instagram model named Layla Lace tried (unsuccessfully) to convince everyone that Drake had knocked her up, he’s again being accused of getting someone pregnant. TMZ reports that a former porn star named Sophie Brussaux (who also goes by Rosee Divine) claims she is three and a half months pregnant by Drake. Drake and Sophie got together in January shortly after he stopped being Jennifer Lopez’s “boyfriend.” Sophie claims she’s having a little girl, and that got pregnant sometime around January 20th or 21st. Drake and Sophie were papped together at a restaurant in Amsterdam on January 24th, so that timeline checks out. Sophie has allegedly hired two lawyers in an attempt to secure a paternity confirmation and subsequent child support.