It’s honestly a toss-up as to whether Mariah Carey or Kim Kardashian wins the telenovela award for dramatizing her pregnancy days more. While Mimi gave us HSN gold and stopped with dem babies, Kimmy is ready for more buns… just not in her own oven. Sources tell Us Weekly that Kim and Kanye West chose a surrogate who is now three months along with our next shot at getting a South West! Southwest Airlines better get in line at the trademark office. (“No fucking shit!” –Kylie Minogue)
It was reported back in June that a $45,000 carrot was dangled in front of the surrogate to live like Tom Brady for nine months. I get that’s what expectant mothers are supposed to do anyway, but, well, you’ll have to come pry the tequila bottle out of my cold hands (yes, I also understand that I don’t have a uterus). The surrogate nabs an extra $5,000 for each additional child on top of the nearly $70,000 deposit given to the agency. That’s a lotta Kimojis!
It’s still all rumor right now, but, if true, the new tot should arrive in January – just in time to sign a contract to be a visible part of Grammy Kris’s Koven for the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians!
Less than a month after a stripper-turned-Instagram model named Layla Lace tried (unsuccessfully) to convince everyone that Drake had knocked her up, he’s again being accused of getting someone pregnant. TMZ reports that a former porn star named Sophie Brussaux (who also goes by Rosee Divine) claims she is three and a half months pregnant by Drake. Drake and Sophie got together in January shortly after he stopped being Jennifer Lopez’s “boyfriend.” Sophie claims she’s having a little girl, and that got pregnant sometime around January 20th or 21st. Drake and Sophie were papped together at a restaurant in Amsterdam on January 24th, so that timeline checks out. Sophie has allegedly hired two lawyers in an attempt to secure a paternity confirmation and subsequent child support.
Remember yesterday when an Instagram model named Layla Lace provided several receipts showing that she’s pregnant and the father is Drake? Well, someone else has come forward with their own receipts showing that Layla Lace made it all up.
Drake may currently be a rapper and performer, but he started out as an actor. And that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do any acting anymore. On the contrary, he still acts quite a bit! For example, he (allegedly) acted like he was dating Jennifer Lopez. And now, according to an former stripper/current Instagram model named Layla Lace, he’s acting like he doesn’t know her or the alleged baby they made together.
Ever since George Clooney surprised the world by getting married again, it feels like there have been plenty of “reports” and “sources” claiming that Amal Clooney is either pregnant or trying to get pregnant or looking at babies . Well, the rumor might finally be true, because some people are saying that Amal is carrying George’s spawn.
Well well well. Looks like England’s #1 Cool Mum is about to piss off twice as many neighborhood parents with her relaxed approach to adulthood, because there might be another Adele Jr. on the way. TMZ reports that at last night’s concert in Phoenix, Adele made some allusions to popping out another little barf gremlin. Frankly I watched the video, and I don’t know about all that, so I’ll ask you to check it out for yourselves.
It actually sounds like she says, “Take me down. I’m gonna go have another baby.” Which, I mean, gross, but also thanks for keeping that shit to yourself until the last possible moment. Unfortunately, I think this means we’re in for about 18 more months of “baby bump” watches and checking to see whether our notoriously former-drunk yodeler is nippin’ any sips off the plonk, guv’nah.
It could be the terrible sound quality or the fact that my ears are clogged up with about 15 years of weed smoke, but it sounds more like she said she was off to go “make another baby.” Big deal! I’m getting less of a “family planning” vibe from that and more of a “horned up mom with a spare hour on the tour bus” signal. But speaking from personal experience, I can say that leaving a social obligation with “I’m gonna go make another baby” – especially if you don’t already have children – is a quick and easy way to escape while letting everyone know you’re about to get your fuck on. Adele gets it.