It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.
Amy Poehler’s directorial debut will be in a Netflix comedy which, according to The Hollywood Reporter, is about a group of “longtime friends who go to Napa for a weekend getaway to celebrate a 50th birthday“ and for some reason it’s not called White Girls (And Maya Rudolph) Trip. Seems like a missed opportunity to me but they’re going with Wine Country as the title. In addition to directing, Amy will also be producing and is cramming as many of her lady comedy cohorts into the cast as she can.
Like and oasis in a desert, Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph saved last night’s Academy Awards ceremony from being a dry ass saltine cracker by injecting the show with some much needed moisture. The pair joined forces to present Best Documentary Short Subject and Live Action Short Film and were so much fun together, some folks are calling for them to host next year’s whole shebang.
There was a lot of messy fashion at the SAG Awards last night (prepare yourself accordingly after that jump below!). But obviously any effort that was put in was immediately cancelled out the second Kate Hudson returned to the scene of last year’s fashion crime and fully outdid herself in a fluffy Valentino vision of countrified love. I say love because, duh, the hearts a’plenty, but also because I love this dress. What’s not to love? Black velvet (check), pink beauty pageant chiffon (check), a high-lace neckline with corresponding bib of ruffles (checking furiously). The only thing missing is a pink parasol. Kate probably left it in the limo for fear of being mistaken for Miley Cyrus in a knock-off production of My Fair Lady called Decent Lookin’ Gal.
Here’s who else showed up and sizzled eyeballs with style.
There were really only two things I wanted to see during last night’s Saturday Night Live 40th anniversary show: I wanted to see Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, and Jan Hooks Skype with the audience from Heaven, and I wanted to see Maya Rudolph put on 8 layers of Spanx and 12lbs of human hair to do the world’s best Beyonce impression. Sadly, it appears Jesus can turn water into wine, but he can’t get Skype to work, so we never got to see that video chat from Heaven. But we did get to see Maya Rudolph do Beyonce, and that’s really all that matters, because bitch does Beyonce better than Beyonce does Beyonce. Maya Rudolph does Beyonce so well, I bet Kim Kardashian ambushed her ass backstage.
Maya Rudolph as Beyonce came out to join living life legend Martin Short (who really should have hosted the whole damn thing, if we’re being honest with ourselves) to talk about SNL characters who sang, like Opera Man and the What Up With That guy. I know that some of you may be confused by Maya Rudolph’s Beyonce and are thinking “Wait, that’s not actually Beyonce?“, but there are two very easy ways to tell the difference between Maya’s Beyonce and the real Beyonce:
1. The real Beyonce would never share the stage with anyone besides Beyonce
2. Maya Rudolph’s Beyonce sings live
Here’s more of Maya Rudolph walking the SNL40 red carpet last night with Kristen Wiig, as well as the real Beyonce arriving to the SNL40 afterparty with Jay Z and wearing what looks to be Joseph’s technicolor dreamcoat if it was poorly knocked-off by Kanye West:
Why do I get the feeling that 3 seconds after this picture was taken, AMERICAN CITIZEN Reese Witherspoon had her assistant check her dress for grease stains and bedbugs. “This is BEYOND! I told you not to let that hobo-looking hipster touch me! I’m STILL trying to get the stink out of the clothes I wore during the Walk the Line press tour.”
The Hollywood premiere of Inherent Vice was held last night, which explains why Reese Witherspoon is hugging sexy dirtbag Joaquin Phoenix. Not that we really needed a reason – personally, I like to imagine Reese and Joaquin meeting every year around Christmas time to share a hug and a box of warm wine. Anyways, Inherent Vice is set in the 70s, so I guess that’s why Reese rolled up to the red carpet looking like Carol Brady’s gimlet-chugging sister from Manhattan named Prudence (“…but you can call me Pussy“). She also looks like Elle Woods, if Elle Woods went back in time to 1971, married a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon named Kip Skippington, and started breeding exquisite snow-white Persian cats instead of becoming a lawyer. Which is to say, I bet she smells like Revlon Charlie and pillow mints and the front seat of a 1971 Chrysler LeBaron.
Here’s more of Reese Witherspoon serving up Barbie’s mom realness, as well as Joaquin with his sisters Summer and Rain (why those two never got together and made an all-natural feminine wash is beyond me), my personal queen Maya Rudolph, Kimberly Stewart’s baby daddy Benicio del Toro, and Joanna Newsom who looked like she walked into drapery store high on furniture polish and was like “GIVE ME EVERYTHING“: