Category: Matt Damon

Matt Damon Bailed On The “Downsizing” Premiere

December 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Matt Damon’s promo tour for his latest film, Downsizing, has sort of snowballed into a disastrous hijacking of the #MeToo campaign. Matt has argued that there are “levels” to sexual harassment, and that men who haven’t sexually assaulted anyone deserve an enthusiastic pat on the back. Matt was supposed to attend the Downsizing premiere in Los Angeles on Monday night, but he didn’t go. I guess downsizing Matt Damon’s public appearances is one way to ensure more dumb thoughts about sexual harassment don’t come out of his mouth and into the microphone of a reporter.

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Today’s Edition of Matt Damon Knows Best: We Should Be Praising Men Who Don’t Sexually Harass People

December 19, 2017 / Posted by:

I’m getting Matt Damon a gift certificate for Home Depot for Christmas. His shovel must worn down to the nub by now with all the digging he’s been doing. And he’s showing no signs of quitting! Earlier this week he drew ire for his asinine comments on the varying levels of sexual harassment he’s identified. Gross. Nevertheless, he persisted. While promoting his upcoming movie Downsizing, Matt told Business Insider that he doesn’t think men get enough credit for not touching butts.

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Minnie Driver Went In On Ex Matt Damon For Claiming That There’s Levels To Sexual Harassment

December 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Minnie Driver should go in on Matt Damon every damn day of her life. She’s earned it. That douche broke up with her on The Oprah Winfrey Show. And she wasn’t even there! She was probably on the couch in her sweatpants with the latest Oprah’s Book Club selection sitting in her lap, proudly anticipating watching her boyfriend talk to O. And then he suddenly claimed that he didn’t have a girlfriend. That was news to Miss Minnie! That SATC episode where the dude broke up with Carrie’s whiny ass on a Post-It ain’t got shit on getting dumped via The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Anyway, now middle-aged Matt Damon can’t keep his mouth shut lately. Minnie read his latest mansplaining of how the world works and had a few choice words for her ex. DRAG HIM, Minnie! Continue reading

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George Clooney Didn’t Want His Twins To Have “Dumb Names”

September 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Pilot Inspektor would like a word with you, George Clooney.

George is pushing that Suburbicon flick he directed alongside its star Matt Damon. They sat down with Entertainment Tonight, and George talked about the twins he had with his statuesque global superstar lawyer wife Amal Clooney in June. Clooney explained that they named the twins Alexander and Ella because Jermajesty and Phyllon Gor were already taken. No, it’s because he didn’t want his future put-upon celebrity children to have to deal with the burden of “dumb names.Ode Mountain, you have every right to be offended after reading this.

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