Minnie Driver should go in on Matt Damon every damn day of her life. She’s earned it. That douche broke up with her on The Oprah Winfrey Show. And she wasn’t even there! She was probably on the couch in her sweatpants with the latest Oprah’s Book Club selection sitting in her lap, proudly anticipating watching her boyfriend talk to O. And then he suddenly claimed that he didn’t have a girlfriend. That was news to Miss Minnie! That SATC episode where the dude broke up with Carrie’s whiny ass on a Post-It ain’t got shit on getting dumped via The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Anyway, now middle-aged Matt Damon can’t keep his mouth shut lately. Minnie read his latest mansplaining of how the world works and had a few choice words for her ex. DRAG HIM, Minnie! Continue reading
By now, we all know the sad and icky shit that was going on in NYC and Hollywood thanks to the world’s worst ass wart, Harvey Weinstein. Even Gwyneth Paltrow admitted he harassed her, and now Matt Damon has come forward saying he knew about it. Continue reading
Remember that scene in the sixth season of Game Of Thrones when Daenerys becomes queen of the Dothraki by burning the whole fucking Khal house down? The Hollywood equivalent is going down right now with Rose McGowan. Continue reading
Pilot Inspektor would like a word with you, George Clooney.
George is pushing that Suburbicon flick he directed alongside its star Matt Damon. They sat down with Entertainment Tonight, and George talked about the twins he had with his statuesque global superstar lawyer wife Amal Clooney in June. Clooney explained that they named the twins Alexander and Ella because Jermajesty and Phyllon Gor were already taken. No, it’s because he didn’t want his future put-upon celebrity children to have to deal with the burden of “dumb names.” Ode Mountain, you have every right to be offended after reading this.
Jimmy Kimmel’s longest running joke is that he hates Matt Damon. It started years ago on Jimmy Kimmel Live! when he joked that Matt Damon had been bumped from the show for time, which eventually spawned 2008’s viral clap-back “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” and a special all-Matt episode in 2013 called Jimmy Kimmel Sucks!. Last night, Jimmy kept the joke going by poking ans scratching at Matt Damon pretty much every chance he got.
George and Amal Clooney are still LARPing as our generation’s JFK and Jackie. And that means the clock has started on the non-stop baby news. As we know, Amal is pregnant with twins (which is SO in right now). George’s friend Matt Damon is starting to do press for The Great Wall just as the news of the Clooney twins broke. Matt told Entertainment Tonight Canada that he knew about the twins waaaaay before everyone else did, and he almost cried. Probably because he knew the end of the world is upon us now we’ve seen the final sign of the apocalypse (aka the news that George Clooney is going be a father).