As Billy Ocean so eloquently reminds us, when the going gets tough, the tough get on a plane headed to the farthest possible destination. Page Six claims that that’s just what Matt Damon might be doing in #thesetryingtimes; getting the hell out of Dodge and moving his family to Australia. Apparently, Matt’s just bought some property next door to Thor (earth name: Chris Hemsworth) in Byron Bay, New South Wales in order to get some distance between him and the super villain Trump The Terrible.
Apparently some people in Hollywood were listening when Frances McDormand ended her acceptance speech at the Oscars to urge for the adoption of inclusion riders (basically, to ensure gender and racial equity on movie sets). Michael B. Jordan’s production company said that they were going to start using inclusion riders on all their projects. And according to The Hollywood Reporter, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have decided to do the same for future projects made through their production company, Pearl Street Films. I’m feeling generous, so I choose not to believe that was a choice Matt and Ben made after their publicists slipped them both a copy of How to Be a Little Less Problematic.
The head of outreach at Pearl Street Films tweeted this:
.@michaelb4jordan Thank you for always supporting broader representation in the industry. On behalf of Pearl Street Films, Matt Damon, @BenAffleck, Jennifer Todd, Drew Vinton & I will be adopting the #InclusionRider for all of our projects moving forward. https://t.co/ODit24D2Rb
— Fanshen (@fanshen) March 13, 2018
THR says that neither Matt nor Ben have commented on their stance on the inclusion rider. But I would say it’s probably one of the better decisions Pearl Street Films has made. Although that’s not exactly saying much, since they did make Live by Night, and I believe anything compared against that flop is automatically considered a good choice.
I’m sure Matt and Ben will be very committed to making sure their inclusion rider is as diverse as possible when they sit down and write it all out. There will be roles for women and people of color. But they can’t forget men, specifically their criminally underrepresented sub-demographic: white men with Boston accents. Although Matt and Ben probably don’t have to specify that they will always include Oscar winners with unshakeable sexual misconduct allegations. It just goes without saying that there will always be roles for Casey Affleck.
I’m not a true Bostonian, but I’ve lived here long enough to scoff if visiting family members ask to go get a beer at Cheers, and I’m not above cutting someone’s tires if they try and park in a space I spent four hours and three hot toddies shoveling out from the fruits of our weekly blizzard. In short, I may as well be a local (“FAHK YOU,” – anyone actually from here), which is why, on behalf of Boston, I say, “HALLELUJAH!” to news that Matt Damon has decided to keep his pie hole shut for a little while when it comes to hot button issues. Continue reading
Matt Damon’s promo tour for his latest film, Downsizing, has sort of snowballed into a disastrous hijacking of the #MeToo campaign. Matt has argued that there are “levels” to sexual harassment, and that men who haven’t sexually assaulted anyone deserve an enthusiastic pat on the back. Matt was supposed to attend the Downsizing premiere in Los Angeles on Monday night, but he didn’t go. I guess downsizing Matt Damon’s public appearances is one way to ensure more dumb thoughts about sexual harassment don’t come out of his mouth and into the microphone of a reporter.
Today’s Edition of Matt Damon Knows Best: We Should Be Praising Men Who Don’t Sexually Harass People
I’m getting Matt Damon a gift certificate for Home Depot for Christmas. His shovel must worn down to the nub by now with all the digging he’s been doing. And he’s showing no signs of quitting! Earlier this week he drew ire for his asinine comments on the varying levels of sexual harassment he’s identified. Gross. Nevertheless, he persisted. While promoting his upcoming movie Downsizing, Matt told Business Insider that he doesn’t think men get enough credit for not touching butts.
Minnie Driver should go in on Matt Damon every damn day of her life. She’s earned it. That douche broke up with her on The Oprah Winfrey Show. And she wasn’t even there! She was probably on the couch in her sweatpants with the latest Oprah’s Book Club selection sitting in her lap, proudly anticipating watching her boyfriend talk to O. And then he suddenly claimed that he didn’t have a girlfriend. That was news to Miss Minnie! That SATC episode where the dude broke up with Carrie’s whiny ass on a Post-It ain’t got shit on getting dumped via The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Anyway, now middle-aged Matt Damon can’t keep his mouth shut lately. Minnie read his latest mansplaining of how the world works and had a few choice words for her ex. DRAG HIM, Minnie! Continue reading