On Friday Marvel Studios released the highly-anticipated Ryan Coogler-directed film Black Panther, and in true superhero fashion it has been kicking ass by raking in millions of dollars and grabbing universal acclaim from both moviegoers and critics. People have been showing up in traditional African garb and expressing their love for the film since its release, because of its predominantly all-black cast and its positive representation of black characters. So, of course, if it’s something positive about black people you know “someone” is going to try and fuck it up for us. Cue Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe’ please.
Almost every one of The Avengers that matters (sorry Hawkeye) has gotten their own stand-alone film, sometimes multiples. How many Iron Mans are we up to now? 13? Captain America got one, so did Thor, but not Black Widow.
The trailer for the upcoming Avengers: Infinity War is out and I’m confused. I’m not a comic book person but I am an American so I feel contractually obligated to see some of these Marvel movies. And I do! I saw the Captain America one where Cap had a tiny golem body for a minute, I’ve seen at least two Iron Mans, I saw one where everyone was all “look at how cute Spiderman’s butt is” and one where they didn’t say that. I saw the weird beard Asian wizard one and I think I’ve seen the first two Avengers movies but honestly I can’t be sure. I can no longer keep track! There are too many GD avengers!
I think the first line says it all. “There was an idea”. And then there was another one. And another one after that. And Another one soon followed. Pretty soon you have all these ideas pinging around, confusing old people like me who just want to live their lives in relative peace but keep going to see these movies so that the world doesn’t pass us by. I don’t want to turn into my mom who used to be baffled each time a new season of Survivor started and scream, “Who the fuck are all these people!?”.
But, that ship has sailed and so I ask, who the fuck are all these people? Who is the guy with the glowy forehead thing? Is this a A Beautiful Mind crossover? Who is the pink giant that looks like an enormous stubbed toe? Which Olsen twin is that? Why are the bugs from Starship Troopers in there? Lord, I’m going to have to accept that I can no longer keep up and resign myself to being old and out of touch. Advantage: Avengers.
And it will almost make you forget for a second about the Black Panther superhero suit. I said almost, not completely. Like, I’m interested in this trailer, but I also want to know why that costume looks like a custom-made S&M gimp suit purchased by Panthro from Thundercats.
A fresh glimpse of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth is probably the best part of this story. Marvel took a huge infodump (how nicely put) at San Diego Comic-Con this weekend. They debuted the new trailer for Thor: Ragnarok (aka Chris Hemsworth Has A Better Haircut And Remains A Thirst Trap), showed the first image of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, and announced who would be playing the part of the FIRST Wasp in Ant-Man and the Wasp. It’s kind of a big name. I hope she sings “Cool Rider” in the movie to distract me, because I can only take so much of Paul Rudd’s “I’ll always be funnier than you” smirk. (And if you figured out who the actress in question is because of that song title, we are friends til’ the end.) Continue reading
Our long national nightmare has come to an end. No, our president and his administration haven’t been replaced with a roomful of howler monkeys who would probably be considered less insane and slightly more trustworthy. Instead, the darkness has receded because they found a director for The Batman! It’s truly morning in America!
Variety reports that Cloverfield and Rise of the Planet of the Apes director Matt Reeves will almost definitely helm the 3,576th movie made about DC Comics’ brooding vigilante.