And it will almost make you forget for a second about the Black Panther superhero suit. I said almost, not completely. Like, I’m interested in this trailer, but I also want to know why that costume looks like a custom-made S&M gimp suit purchased by Panthro from Thundercats.
A fresh glimpse of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth is probably the best part of this story. Marvel took a huge infodump (how nicely put) at San Diego Comic-Con this weekend. They debuted the new trailer for Thor: Ragnarok (aka Chris Hemsworth Has A Better Haircut And Remains A Thirst Trap), showed the first image of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, and announced who would be playing the part of the FIRST Wasp in Ant-Man and the Wasp. It’s kind of a big name. I hope she sings “Cool Rider” in the movie to distract me, because I can only take so much of Paul Rudd’s “I’ll always be funnier than you” smirk. (And if you figured out who the actress in question is because of that song title, we are friends til’ the end.) Continue reading
Our long national nightmare has come to an end. No, our president and his administration haven’t been replaced with a roomful of howler monkeys who would probably be considered less insane and slightly more trustworthy. Instead, the darkness has receded because they found a director for The Batman! It’s truly morning in America!
Variety reports that Cloverfield and Rise of the Planet of the Apes director Matt Reeves will almost definitely helm the 3,576th movie made about DC Comics’ brooding vigilante.
“Gee whiz, if only I was bitten by a radioactive lunch lady, then I’d have the power to save my mouth from this grody cafeteria pizza!”
The news that we were getting a fresh-outta-Pampers Spider-Man was a major clue that the latest Spider-Man reboot was going to feel like a superhero movie released by the Disney Channel. Sony released the first trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming during Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, and it’s definitely giving off that vibe. Tom Holland is 20 years old in real life, but they really high school-ed up this version of Peter Parker. It doesn’t help that his haircut makes him look like a “15-year-old at Sears Portrait Studio with his mom.”
The only way I feel comfortable referring to this Peter Parker as “Spider-Man” would be if Marisa Tomei’s Aunt May opened the movie by showing the audience pictures from Peter Parker’s bar mitzvah. “And this is the day Peter became a man. So technically it’s not weird to call him Spider-Man. Now on with the show!”
We also get a look at Zendaya, who may or may not be playing Mary Jane Watson, and she’s giving me the so-edgy aspiring Instagram stylist version of a young Enid Coleslaw and a vintage copy of Sassy. We also get to see Michael Keaton as The Vulture, which feels a little weird. I mean, it’s a grown-ass man telling a teen boy he’s going to kill him. That sounds like the kind of fight that would happen in the parking lot of a Walmart between the cart boy and the uptight owner of the Audi he joy rode a cart into.
Here’s Zendaya earlier this week at the opening of the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen.
Whenever I think of superhero movies, I think of actors whose bank accounts will be stuffed with that sweet superhero franchise cash for a long long time. Or at least until we all get bored of watching grown-ass adults play pretend in capes and masks. But until that time, they’ve got some serious job security thanks to the 6.9 billion cross-over superhero films in production. However, there are always exceptions, and one of them is Natalie Portman.
Room actress (and The Clash at Demonhead lead singer) Brie Larson was confirmed to play Captain Marvel in Marvel’s first solo female superhero movie yesterday at San Diego Comic-Con. Upon hearing this, Scarlett Johansson donned her Black Widow catsuit before showing up at Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige’s house to inquire, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
You can watch Larson’s entrance to Marvel’s Hall H event below. Deadline reports that she’s been rumored to be Marvel’s #1 pick to play Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel’s civilian name) since earlier this summer.
— Fandango (@Fandango) July 24, 2016
Oooh, here’s the part where I get to utilize my insane comic book knowledge that prevented me from getting laid in high school! Marvel created Carol Danvers in 1968 as a supporting character to the male Captain Marvel. She got hit by a beam or something and became Ms. Marvel! She was sort of Marvel’s attempt to create the first “feminist” heroine. That translates as a female comic book character who didn’t defer to her boyfriend while constantly calling him “darling” and was allowed to punch things. Ms. Marvel got her own title in 1977, but it didn’t last very long. She was pretty minor until she joined the Avengers in the 80s and has since grown in popularity. They killed the male Captain Marvel off (with cancer, which isn’t very comic-booky) and she finally inherited the name (and a bomb-ass jumpsuit) in 2012. The flick is scheduled to come out in March of 2019. Jesus, I’m going to be piddling into my Depends and Marvel will still be turning the crank on the money machine.
Oscar-winner Brie’s talented so I’m sure she can pull this off. Luckily, she won’t have to wear Captain Marvel’s old costume which consisted of a leotard and the sluttiest superhero boots you’ve ever seen. Check them out in the gallery, along with some of Carol Danver’s other looks over the years (yes, she briefly had a star for a head), and shots of Brie looking decidely un-superheroic while shooting The Glass Castle in Montreal this past week. She looks like her trailer’s septic tank just glitched and she’s having to trudge over to the neighbors to use theirs.