Last year, Ryan Reynolds tried his level best to get himself nominated for an Oscar for Deadpool. I don’t know how much pull Ryan has over at the Deadpool offices (a lot I’m guessing), but it was enough to get them to hire Oscar-Maker-In-Chief Céline Dion to do a song and video for Deadpool 2. And to great comic effect, they totally played it straight (for the most part). Throughout the entire song I was waiting for Céline to pull off her rubber mask (that cannot be her actual face) and reveal that she was Deadpool all along. But no! Deadpool is in it too. And he’s a maniac on the floor.
Here’s the video for Ashes!
It’s actually a great Céline jam! The goobers at my karaoke spot will be singing this song by weeks’ end. We don’t deserve Celine. She’s a treasure and the world will forever be in Canada’s debt for sharing her. She’s worth suffering a thousand Biebers. Ok, one additional Bieber and three Drakes. But we expect greatness from Celine. There is nothing she can’t sing while glowing incandescently. But if Ryan really wants that Oscar, I’m going to need to know that he was actually doing his own dancing in this video. I want to believe that it was, but know deep down that it wasn’t. And if that’s the case, if anybody’s getting an Oscar out of this stunt, if will be Céline and Céline alone.
As our weekend readers probably know by now, your Saturday/Sunday blogger is a big ole’ comic book nerd. This means that Avengers: Infinity War is the culmination of all my comic book nerd wet dreams. It has THIRTY PLUS Marvel superheroes battling evil death god Thanos. And without spoiling it, it’s completely devastating! I needed a moment afterward! The majority of you are probably giving me the “really, grown-ass man?” look right now. It’s understandable. And yes – REALLY. Anyway, it’s made a fuck ton of money since it opened late Thursday night and it’s set to make waaayyy more. Possibly all of it! So, if you can’t get a mortgage or student loans in the near future, blame Marvel.
Disclosure: Tom Hardy can do you wrong in my book so if this post seems biased, it is.
The full trailer for Marvel’s Venom is out and it stars Tom Hardy who is perfect. Tom is so lovely that one might not even question the fact that he’s making some real interesting “choices” in his characterization of Venom. One choice is to have Venom, who I admittedly know nothing about, have some sort of “regional” “accent”. I clearly saw the Golden Gate Bridge so we know he’s supposed to be in San Francisco, but then why does he talk like he’s got mobster marbles in his mouth? It’s as if it was Marlon Brando’s dying wish to play a Marvel superhero and Tom’s magnanimously making that happen for him posthumously. And why does he run into Jenny Slate in what looks like a bodega? There are no bodegas in San Francisco. We have organic corner markets where you have to bring your own jars if you want nut butters or kombucha.
Phony San Francisco aside, the best moment of this trailer comes at 1:35 and honestly, Tom’s choice to go full Three Stooges here is a stroke of pure genius. I’d like to see Daniel Day-Lewis go from slapstick to badass to deranged homeless man in the span of 5 seconds.
I feel like I have actually seen Venom downtown on Market Street before so I take back what I said about San Francisco looking phony. Tom’s selling it and I’m buying.
Here’s the trailer for Venom!
That tongue, tho…
Tom Hardy is the greatest actor of this or any generation (don’t @ me)!
Being a part of the world’s biggest movie franchise can cause one to become irritable with the lessers. An example of this comes to us from Collider reporter Stephen Weintraub on Twitter. Most of you own a TV in addition to basic cable so you know that Avengers: Infinity War comes out on Friday because the ad runs 500 damn times a day and it’s made even THIS hardcore comic book geek sick of their cinematic universe. Apparently one of the cast members is feeling that way, too. Stephen interviewed some of the cast members and left wishing that one of them would eat something featuring romaine lettuce in a Yuma, Arizona-located restaurant. Continue reading
Here’s a caper and a half for you: Apparently, one of Stan Lee’s former business associates had an internship with Hannibal Lecter only instead of creating elaborate tableaux from human flesh, Stan thinks this unnamed sir or madame stole his blood in order to make commemorative Marvel pens that write real blood. I know, right? What the fuck!
After playing Captain America/Steve Rogers in at least 1.7 million different Marvel movies, it sounds like Chris Evans is ready to hang up his shield and tight blue pants and call it quits. Captain America is the second person this week that Chris Evans decided he’s done with.
Avengers: Infinity War – starring Captain America and everyone else – comes out a month from now. Chris will also appear in what is currently being referred to as Avengers 4, coming out May 2019. It sounds like Chris is done after that. During an interview with The New York Times (via The Hollywood Reporter), Chris implied he’s ready to retire by saying:
“You want to get off the train before they push you off.”
The Hollywood Reporter points out that Captain America is just one of several Captain Americas in the comic books. There are internet rumors that Chris’ Captain America might die in Avengers: Infinity War or Avengers 4. And they already have two Captain America’s waiting in the wings to take his place. Sebastian Stan (aka the Winter Soldier) and Anthony Mackie (aka the Falcon) are both rumored to be possible replacements.
Chris Evans first appeared as Captain America in 2011. Before that he played Johnny Storm in two Fantastic Four movies. So it’s probably time to get off the train before he’s stuck playing superheroes. But what is a basic brunette superhero hottie named Chris going to do then? Whatever he does, he better do it on the down-low, because the last thing he needs is all the other brunette Chrises (Pine, Pratt, and Hemsworth) finding out and following him. The trick is to get in early before the market becomes over-saturated.