Category: Martha Stewart

Open Post: Hosted By Martha Stewart’s Messy Scrambled Eggs Hack

January 8, 2019 / Posted by:

You know, despite their low-simmering rivalry, Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow really aren’t all that different. They both sport WASPy flaxen locks, know the proper way to care for cashmere, and they both sleep like babies at night knowing that there is one correct way to do things, and that’s their way. And they both also have a thing for steam. While Gwyneth thinks you should steam your eggs (if you have them) indirectly through your vagina and up your fallopian tubes, Martha’s method gets right to the point. Martha recommends steaming your eggs using a cappuccino machine.

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Open Post: Hosted By Martha Stewart First (And Probably Last) Uber Ride

November 20, 2018 / Posted by:

We all know that Martha Stewart has exceedingly high standards. This past weekend those standards were put to the test when she decided to try Uber for the first time. While some of us are terrified of getting a chatty and/or rapey driver, Martha is in the unenviable position of having standards of cleanliness and efficiency that need to be met. Unfortunately, even though she ordered “the most expensive version,” Martha’s Uber experience was not up to snuff and poor Martha was positively scandalized. And so close to the holidays!

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Open Post: Hosted By Martha Stewart Not Letting Someone Chastise Her For Being Too Old To Ride A Bike

October 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Martha Stewart may be a hardened felon, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still enjoy the simple things in life, like baking weed cookies with Snoop Dogg or noodling around The Cape on her e-bike. She’s posted evidence of both on her personal Instagram page, yet because not even Martha Stewart herself can have nice things, some hater had to let her know she’s too damn old to be riding a bike.

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Donald Trump Reportedly Wants To Pardon Martha Stewart

June 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Donald Trump is on a pardoning spree! Sure, he’s not pardoning the people that we thought might get a pardon. His list is more like who he’d like to invite to a Friday night slumber party.

In late April he pardoned former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio. Last week he pardoned boxing champion Jack Johnson. Yesterday he issued a full pardon to Dinesh D’Souza, who pled guilty to the felony crime of illegal campaign contributions in 2014. Trump is considering issuing a pardon to former Governor and Celebrity Apprentice contestant Rod Blagojevich. And now he’s apparently thinking of pardoning Martha Stewart.

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The TIME 100 Gala Brought Out Some Influential Looks

April 25, 2018 / Posted by:

The 2018 TIME 100 Gala was held last night in New York City to celebrate Time magazine’s annual list of the 100 most influential people. And whether the people were influential or not, the red carpet fashion pulled from a variety of sources. Like Leslie Jones in Christian Siriano, who is giving you Grace Jones after stopping at Studio 54 while thinking,”I wonder what the rent is on this place? Do they pay monthly or yearly? You know what, hand me my coke spoon and purse, I’m leaving to pursue a career in commercial real estate.

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