Category: Mark Wahlberg

Marky Mark Is Donating His “All The Money In The World” Reshoots Salary To #TimesUp

January 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Inexplicably hugely successful actor Mark Wahlberg made sure he was making bank before he returned to the set of Ridley Scott’s All The Money In The World for reshoots. His co-star Michelle Williams made sure she had a ride home after shooting because equal wages for women is something captains of industry laugh about on the golf course. Someone on Mark’s team let him know the actions of him and his agents at William Morris revealed them all to be greedy putzes. This is why Team Good Vibrations (feel it, feel it!) hurriedly announced that he’s donating his $1.5 million reshoot salary to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund in Michelle’s name. “Oh, um, that’s nice. I could have probably used it since I make .05 to your dollar as a rule, but it’s cool,” Michelle thought tiredly. Continue reading

Marky Mark’s Contract Had To Do With Him Getting Paid $1.5 Million For “All The Money In The World” Reshoots 

January 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Marky Mark’s team hasn’t said anything about the story that he got $1.5 million while his co-star Michelle Williams got under $1,000 for reshoots on All The Money In The World. But why should Marky Mark’s team open their mouths to the media when “sources” are out there defending them. Sources are now saying don’t hate the player, hate the game. And yes, I brought out that saying in 2018. I am your cool auntie who loves that hip new rapper Lil’ Bow Wow and still considers her bedazzled Motorola Razr her prized possession. Boo ya!

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Marky Mark May Have Made 1,500 Times More Than Michelle Williams For “All The Money In The World” Reshoots

January 10, 2018 / Posted by:

When All The Money In The World director Ridley Scott got scared that Kevin Spacey’s alleged boy molestin’ paws would infect his movie and ruin its chances of being seen outside of a NAMBLA Film Festival event honoring Kevin he recast the role of J. Paul Getty with Christopher Plummer. So because Christopher Plummer replaced Kevin Spacey six weeks before the movie’s release, Ridley had to do code red emergency reshoots. The movie’s actors, including Michelle Williams and Marky Mark, flew to Europe to redo the 22 scenes that Kevin was in. Ridley said in December that he did the reshoots for free, Michelle Williams did it for free and the rest of the cast did it for nothing too. The only ones who got paid were the crew. Well, just call him RidLIE Scott from now on, because he may have lied to all of our faces. That’s the worst thing Ridley’s done since The Counselor (and I say that as someone who loved it thanks to Cameron Diaz fucking a car).

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Marky Mark Prays That God Forgives Him For “Boogie Nights”

October 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Boogie Nights is a jewel of a movie that is a precious gift to us all. It gave us so many perfect things like Philip Seymour Hoffman in a three sizes too small 70s freakum tank, Julianne Moore busting out one of her signature cries outside of the courthouse, a pucker-inducing dance scene, everything Becky Barnett says, the soundtrack, etc… etc… But being the dumb turd corn that he is, Marky Mark regrets doing Boogie Nights and hopes that God will forgive him for it. When Marky gets to the gates of Heaven and asks God if he’s forgiven for Boogie Nights, God will probably say, “Errr, I don’t forgive Paul Thomas Anderson for casting your ass, and I also don’t forgive you for almost killing those Vietnamese men,” before hitting a button that opens a trap door to Hell.

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Jake Gyllenhaal Dodged A Question About Taylor Swift

September 19, 2017 / Posted by:

You can’t be a real Bostonian without being a bit of an a-hole. Hell, I’ve given three people in this coffee shop the finger just over the span of typing out two sentences. So it’s only natural Jake Gyllenhaal gets into character and acts like one on the press tour for Stronger, the film where he portrays real-life Boston Marathon bombing survivor Jeff Bauman. Jake and Jeff interviewed each other and it’s not so much an interview as it’s 2 minutes them sassing one another. Continue reading

Mark Wahlberg Made A Stupid Amount Of Money This Year

August 22, 2017 / Posted by:

I honestly had forgotten that Mark Wahlberg appeared in anything over the past 12 months. I racked my brain (it didn’t take long) and all I could come up with was a commercial for Wahlburgers. In actuality, I forgot about Mark’s appearances in Transformers: The Last Knight and the movie where he’s on the oil rig that explodes. According to Forbes’ annual list of the highest-paid actors in the world, Mark Wahlberg made a lot of money for the work he did.

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