Category: Mario Batali

Mario Batali’s Indecent Assault And Battery Trial Has Ended With His Acquittal

May 11, 2022 / Posted by:

Mario Batali made a career off his hands (cooking), but a few years ago his career took a nosedive after it was alleged those same hands had been busy doing something else (creeping). At the height of the 2017 #MeToo revelations, the foodie world was rocked by an exposé by Eater, which published the accounts of several women who accused fleece zipper vests’ favorite customer of varying degrees of misconduct, harassment, and assault. According to other notable TV chefs, like the late Anthony Bourdain and Tom Colicchio, the allegations were a long time coming, and there were some people in the industry who would be more shocked to find basil in a jar of marinara than were surprised to hear about Mario’s allegations. It was starting to look like Mario’s goose was cooked. But in a twist worthy of those fucked up surprise baskets on Chopped, Mario has apparently made like a whisk in a bowl of egg whites and beaten this thing.

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The NYPD Is Investigating Mario Batali For Sexual Assault 

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

I’ve always said that you can never trust a grown bitch who wears the devil’s hooves known as CROCS out in public. And look at what we have here.

Last year, the slimy brother of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons stepped away from his show The Chew and his restaurants after several women accused him of not being able to keep his greasy paws to himself. Some of those allegations (and more) found their way to the NYPD and now an investigation has started. Um, Mario Batali should’ve been eating cardboard and toilet sauce pizza on Death Row years ago for murdering retinas with those hideous CROCS, but better late than never I guess…

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Mario Batali Cheapens Delicious Cinnamon Rolls With Lame Apology

December 18, 2017 / Posted by:

After decades of unchecked sexual harassment came to light last week, Mario Batali has been shit-canned from his job at The Chew, The Food Network has pumped the brakes on a planned Malto Mario reboot, and according to The Washington Post, Mario has stepped down from day to day operations at 26 restaurants he co-owns. You would think Mario would take all that as a clear indication that nobody wants to see or hear from his ass, but apparently he still thought it would be a good idea to continue to pen the email newsletter for his empire. I bet he still thinks people want him to play Santa at the company holiday party too.

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Mario Batali Has Officially Been Fired From “The Chew”

December 15, 2017 / Posted by:

On Monday, Eater published several stories by women claiming to have been sexually harassed and assaulted by Mario Batali. Mario admitted that he was guilty of being a huge creep, and ABC asked him to step away from his co-hosting duties on The Chew. In a move as predictable as Mario Batali showing up to an event in a sweat-soaked fleece vest, ABC has fired him from The Chew.

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Anthony Bourdain And Tom Colicchio Say They Knew About Mario Batali’s Behavior

December 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Yesterday, Eater announced that Mario Batali was stepping away from The Chew and stepping down from his food empire after it was revealed he spent years handling women’s bodies like fruit at a farmer’s market. So far, no one has jumped to Mario’s defense. Not even a peep from the balding pony-tailed community or fleece vest enthusiasts. However, on the other side, we’ve got Anthony Bourdain and Top Chef head judge Tom Colicchio speaking out against Mario and condemning his behavior.

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