Hats off to the marketing department at Hostelworld for tapping Mariah Carey for a commercial extolling the virtues cheap beds and common areas; two things we all know Mimi wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot glitter wand. In a new commercial, Mariah’s “people” accidentally book her in a hostel instead of a hotel, and in a mind bending plot twist, she doesn’t have each and every one of them murdered!
Here’s the spot.
I forgot that Mimi can actually act. Or, rather, she can coherently deliver lines in a believable manner while remaining upright with her eyes open. Folks, the re-emancipation of Mimi is upon us! She’s having fun again. My favorite Mimi is self-aware Mimi and when she leans in to her Diva persona, it’s usually a good time for everybody.
Shooting this commercial can’t have been more than an hour’s worth of work for Mariah, tops. I see the trickery they’re pulling here to maximize on Mariah’s persona without actually making her do any of the work. In fact, I’m not even convinced that’s her in the elevator. It’s quite possibly a person wearing a rubber Mariah mask. No matter how much they paid her, there’s no way she agreed to actually breathe unfiltered poor people air.
The 2018 Kids’ Choice Awards, arguably Hollywood’s most wholesome event of the year (save perhaps the Silverlake Vegan Nut Cheese Invitational), were held on Saturday. Obviously JiffPom was Best In Show but there were plenty of lesser bitches vying for attention on the orange carpet. It was a veritable who’s who of “whos?“s!
If you think Mariah Carey does every interview wearing lingerie while sipping champagne, there’s nothing in the new V Magazine interview that will dissuade you from that position. But, if you think Mimi is still fondling the silver balls of the Ghost of Christmas Past (Mimi, you’ve got a little tinsel in your teeth, dear), you’d be wrong. Additionally, if you thought stacking Grammys was her main objective, you need to go back to The Lambily Academy and repeat Mimi 101. Mariah doesn’t give a single figgy pudding about Grammys.
My thoughts and prayers are with whoever does Al Roker’s laundry. Because they’re going to have a bitch of a time trying to scrub out the wet butt cough he sharted into his chonies after being hit with the double platinum glamour of Sharon Stone and Mariah Carey!
Mariah Carey (did she finally get her hot tea?) is riding high on her redemptive NYE performance in Times Square. (“Redemptive” in this case meaning “doing a soundcheck prior to performing”.) She’s now free to go back to dispensing advice and defining the trends for all of her loving lambs out there. Mimi recently tweeted about a friend asking her to, ew, brunch. Check your wristwatch, Mimi’s friend, brunch time is over. It’s all about linner now! Continue reading
As expected, Mimi returned to the scene of the crime (aka Times Square) last night and yodeled out two of her songs, Vision of Love and Hero, during Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. Everyone kept calling it “Mariah Carey’s redemption performance,” but please. The only tricks who needed to do some redeeming was the Emmys voters for not properly honoring that televised masterpiece wreck by giving it hundreds of awards.