Oprah Winfrey Attended Katherine Schwarzenegger’s Bridal Shower

If, like me, you’re concerned about the diversity of Katherine Schwarzenegger‘s friend group, you can lay your troubled mind to rest. According to People, Katherine has at least one brunette friend named Oprah Winfrey, who was one of the guests at her bridal shower that was held on Saturday. It was a ladies only affair hosted by her mom Maria Shriver at her house. But Katherine’s fiancé Chris Pratt did stop by for a toast (Martinelli’s I’m guessing. If you’re going to abstain from sex until marriage, might as well abstain from anything fun at all). Now that I think about it, Oprah’s probably Maria’s friend, which means Katherine still has an opening for a brunette (or a redhead) in her squad. Serious inquiries only.

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Chris Pratt And Katherine Schwarzenegger Probably Won’t Take Anna Faris Up On Her Offer To Officiate Their Wedding

Chris Pratt and Anna Faris had one of the politest and most efficient divorces in recent memory (even if it seemed to have lasted an eternity), so it’s not surprising that they maintain a warm and supportive relationship. Both have moved on, Anna’s got her cinematographer boyfriend, and Chris just got engaged to Jesus by way of Katherine Schwarzenegger. Anna recently addressed the engagement on her podcast Unqualified and said that Chris texted her the news the very next morning. She was so happy for them, she hinted she would be willing to officiate the wedding herself! But it’s unlikely they’d accept. According to People, they will probably want Jesus to handle it.

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Maria Shriver Set Her Kid Up With Chris Pratt

If you woke up panicked this morning that your smoke alarm was going off, or that two angry alley cats were making sweet, angry alley cat love under your bedroom window: RELAX. It was just Sally Field scream-crying because Maria Shriver achieved what Sally could not: the successful pairing of her beloved offspring to a celebrity.

According to People, the reason Chris Pratt and Maria’s daughter Katherine Schwarzenegger are possibly boning is all thanks to Maria’s meddling. Continue reading

Rachel Maddow And Maria Shriver Co-Signed An Open Letter Of Support For Tom Brokaw

Much like an alien from V, you can’t peer too closely at a celebrity in 2018 without his face being ripped off to reveal him as a possible sexual predator. Former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw, 78, is the latest calming voice of newscasting reason to be accused of sexually harassing co-workers (and ruining milk and cookies for everyone). Tom must make a helluva pumpernickel spinach dip for the annual Celebrity Newscaster Christmas Party, because 64 of his former colleagues (including Rachel Maddow, Maria Shriver, and NBC News’ Andrea Mitchell) have co-signed an open letter in his defense. Looks like the #TimesUp female solidarity clock’s batteries need changing.

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I Guess Someone Didn’t Get The Memo That It Was A Halloween Party…

Last night, George Clooney and his tequila tasting partner Rande Gerber threw a pre-Halloween party sponsored by their tequila company, Casamigos, and – shock of all shocks, a bunch of Georgie’s famous friends showed up. Even though the Casamigos party was held on the day before Halloween, everyone still dressed up, because why wouldn’t you? When you’re rich as shit, you can afford to have your assistant stand in line outside of the Hell on Earth that is Party City 3 days before Halloween. Still, there’s always that one person who cannot muster a single fuck and shows up in regular clothes, and that person was Salma Hayek. Stars, they’re just like us!

There is literally nothing Halloween-y about Salma Hayek. It’s like she forgot about that shit, and decided to swing by on her way home from Barneys. Salma is giving me “pity pop-in“, and I love it. She probably told her rich-ass husband, François-Henri Pinault, that they were going to make an appearance at a party hosted by “some guy she worked with on From Dusk till Dawn” and assured him that it would “only take a second.”

Or maybe that is her costume: second wife of a French billionaire is a costume, right? But really, why bother putting in any effort when Jessica Alba is going to show up and shut everyone else down with her on-point Romy White costume.

That wig! You know someone is 100% into a costume when they spring for the good wig. For those of you screaming “BUT WHERE’S MICHELE???“, Jessica got a friend to dress up as Michele. I know, Cash Warren really dropped the ball on that one.

Here’s more famous types from George and Rande’s Casamigos party last night. Not pictured: George and Amal Clooney. I guess they decided to shock everyone and go as a couple who didn’t want to pose for the paps.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Even Famous Millionaires Leave Their Christmas Lights Up All Year Long

There’s usually one house in every neighborhood that celebrates Christmas times all year round and is never without lights on it. My house was that house for a while. One year, my uncle, who didn’t live with us, suddenly decided that our house really needed some Christmas lights. He put them up and they never came down. You know my abuelita wasn’t going to pull out a damn ladder and my mom worked all the time, so they stayed up for years. They became a part of the house. The house started to eat them. We never turned them on and they stopped working. I should’ve told people that they weren’t Christmas lights, they were siding studs. Very on trend. I don’t think our neighbors ever gave a shit. Although, one smart ass whore neighbor wished me a Merry Christmas while I was on the driveway choreographing a dance number to a Jody Watley song for my own pleasure. It was July. Anyway, our neighbors didn’t seem to care, but Maria Shriver’s rich ass neighbors do….

TMZ has an EXCLUSIVO video they shot on Tuesday night of Christmas lights twinkling bright in front of Maria Shriver’s Brentwood house. Maria turns on the lights nightly and she’s had them up since December. Maria’s neighbors aren’t dazzled by them and want her to take them down. But instead of knocking on Maria’s door and telling it to her face, they called TMZ. TMZ is the new passive aggressive note.

Maria’s neighbors don’t want to hurt her feelings, so they hope their note through TMZ gets to her and she takes them down. Those neighbors need to pull the platinum stick from out their asses and get over it. Those don’t even look like Christmas lights to me. That looks like some Disney park shit to me. Don’t some rich people always decorate their front yard trees with light-up diamond necklaces? I’m sure Maria will take down her Christmas lights….but only so she can rearrange them into a message for all her neighbors. I’m sure we’ll see the lit-up words “F ALL U TWATS” on Maria’s front yard shrubs real soon. Don’t mess with the Skeletor of the Kennedy family.

Speaking of things that twinkle, here’s Maria’s hairless twink son Patrick Schwarzenegger in Hawaii the other day.