There was a lot of messy fashion at the SAG Awards last night (prepare yourself accordingly after that jump below!). But obviously any effort that was put in was immediately cancelled out the second Kate Hudson returned to the scene of last year’s fashion crime and fully outdid herself in a fluffy Valentino vision of countrified love. I say love because, duh, the hearts a’plenty, but also because I love this dress. What’s not to love? Black velvet (check), pink beauty pageant chiffon (check), a high-lace neckline with corresponding bib of ruffles (checking furiously). The only thing missing is a pink parasol. Kate probably left it in the limo for fear of being mistaken for Miley Cyrus in a knock-off production of My Fair Lady called Decent Lookin’ Gal.
Here’s who else showed up and sizzled eyeballs with style.
I think Auntie Maxine likes it! This was one red carpet that wasn’t a hot mess. Tracee Ellis Ross usually has “Best Dressed” on lock at just about any awards show she attends. However, come time for the NAACP Image Awards, she’s got some stiff competition. The attendees of this year’s awards did not come to play and Tracee’s outfit faded into the background. That’s because the red carpet was on fire!
The strange thing was that everyone wasn’t told to go home as soon as this feathery vision of dusty pink gluh-moore whipped his boa train on the carpet. Why even bother going on with the 2017 CFDA Awards when it was already shut down by an exquisite bejeweled pink ostrich? I’m sure that is a question that fashion professors will ponder with their students for years to come.
As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!
Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.
Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.
Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.
Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.
It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.
Sure, dried drop of urethral pus Donald Trump mouth shat up another batshit crazy dingle today when he called for Russia to hack Hillary Clinton, but here at Dlisted, we only post about the most important political news, so here’s the video of a bunch of famous and famous-esque people singing Rachel Platten’s little-known, unheard pop single “Fight Song.”
Jabba the Trump had the USA Freedom Kids (whose manager is threatening to throw a lawsuit at the Trump campaign for violating an agreement) and Hillary Clinton has a bunch of celebrities singing “Fight Song” on the old set of The Branchy Bunch’s intro. The Los Angeles Times says that Elizabeth Banks put together as many pro-Hillary celebs as she could to sing in a video for the DNC. The likes of Aisha Tyler, Mandy Moore, Rob Reiner, Connie Britton, Kathy Najimy, Julie Bowen, Hana Mae Lee, America Ferrera, John Michael Higgins, Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Billy Porter, Sia, Dollar Tree Victorian cameo Jaime King (who really, really took it seriously) and a bunch of others warbled out a cover of “Fight Song” that made my face contort into the cringe position. I cringed, cringed and cringed some more.
For the first minute, I thought to myself, “You all are NOT helping!”, but that all changed when the music stopped and Jane Fonda talk-sang for her life!
Leave it to Jane Fonda to save it all. But if you watched that video above, you know that Jane wasn’t the only one who really delivered. About 90 seconds in, Ellen Greene (aka Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors) popped up in impeccable Louise Brooks cosplay and delivered a stirring, raw and melodramatic re-telling of “Fight Song.” That is how it’s done.
God, I love theater people.