We’re getting some more information on Mama June’s arrest last week. Mama June and her boyfriend Geno Doak were arrested at an Alabama gas station last Friday and charged with drug possession. The were arrested holding: crack cocaine, a needle and a crack pipe. And that’s not all, TMZ is reporting that before the arrest, Geno also threatened to kill Mama June. And not just kill her by getting her hooked on crack, he meant murder-kill her.
General dreg of humanity and parenting icon “Mama June” Shannon and her boyfriend Geno Doak were arrested for felony drug possession at an Alabama gas station on Wednesday. TMZ reports that the police were called in to handle a domestic incident between the two and that’s when the crack cocaine was discovered on them. If Mama June’s life had a magic 8 ball (the toy kind), “arrested for crack cocaine possession at a gas station in Alabama after a domestic violence incident” would be the answer every time you shook it, so this incident doesn’t really qualify as shocking.
Former messy reality TV sweetheart turned societal outcast (for VERY good reasons) “Mama June” Shannon lost some weight, as you probably know if you watched her latest reality shit show Mama June: From Not To Hot. That’s an after picture. It looks like she even lost the forklift foot. Either that or the photographer was generous with angles.
To get that look, Mama June supposedly dropped a lot of personal baggage.
June claims to have lost 300 lbs … this after getting gastric sleeve surgery back in 2016. She also had breast augmentation and skin removal on her neck and stomach. All tolled, 9 pounds of skin was removed.
If Mama June hadn’t subjected her own children to her unfortunate fetish for pedophiles, you might congratulate her on her achievement. Sure, she looks like if Lisa Frank had a sister who was a real-life extra in The Florida Project, but weight loss! However no, she’s fairly reprehensible. TMZ reports that this pic is a still from her show. And it looks like the one daughter who might still talk to her, Alana “Honey Boo-Boo” Thompson, gained the weight that June lost. You’d stress-eat, too, if you aged out of the child pageant circuit and had to spend the rest of your existence playing sidekick to this monstrosity.
If you haven’t been following the basic cable journey of pedo-enabling monster Mama June and her transformation from a chunky child-ruining demon into a skinny child-ruining demon, then you’re probably looking at that picture while thinking that another April Fools’ joke has been dropped on you. But that’s really what Mama June looks like now. The world of fine gourmet cuisine is definitely shedding several tears today, because it looks like Mama June isn’t going to make her signature dish sketti sauce anytime soon….
Besides dumb stuff like reducing your risk of heart disease and diabetes, nothing good comes out of eating healthy things. Case in point: The mutated hushpuppy we all know as Mama June had to be shuffled off to the hospital two weeks ago after she passed out in her house in Georgia. Mama June has been trying to burn off another layer of her Chalupa chins by dieting and her body apparently had the same reaction mine does when I eat broccoli that hasn’t been dipped in cheese or marannaise. It collapsed, and she’s reportedly going the Star Jones route, because dieting is dangerous for her health. I would say that Richard Simmons should come out of retirement to help Mama June, but he’s already been through too damn much.
No-Kind-Of-Mama June and her tribe of quadruple-chinned hillbilly dumplings are trying to crawl out from under the pile of irrelevancy by doing another reality show. June and Sugar Bear are on that reality show where desperate fame whores pretend they have relationship problems in exchange for camera time and a check. No, not that Couples Therapy mess. I’m talking about Marriage Boot Camp. The first episode of Marriage Boot Camp airs on Friday and in it, June tells her fellow Marriage Boot Campers, Catherine and Sean Lowe of The Bachelor, that she thinks Sugar Bear may have cheated on her with dudes and chicks. SCANDAL!
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to him. I believe there was more than one. The text messages that I have seen [are from] men and women. I want him to be honest, and I don’t feel in my gut that he’s fully honest.”
No, I’m pretty sure that feeling in her gut was her afternoon snack of sketti sauce and deep fried cheese noodles trying to digest.
Sugar Bear denies cheating on June. Last year, June came out as bisexual and said that she’s licked Velveeta off of a punane or two.
Maybe Sugar Bear likes a peen in his sugar bear hole and maybe he had a 100-person orgy with dudes and chicks on June’s favorite bedspread. Who cares? Big deal. It’s not like he fucked the pedo trash who molested his daughter.
And I can’t believe this is the second time this week I’ve posted something Mama June- related. 2016 is not going the way I thought it would.