Category: Maksim Chmerkovskiy

“Dancing With The Stars” Partners Vanessa Lachey And Maksim Chmerkovskiy Reportedly Can’t Stand Each Other

October 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Both UsWeekly and People are reporting that Dancing with the Stars could be changed to Drama with the Stars, because there’s all kinds of rehearsal room drama between Vanessa Lachey and her dance partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy. You’d think that becoming a dad would have mellowed Maks out a little, but apparently he’s still kind of a high-maintenance diva dick.

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Today’s Lesson: Always Make Sure Your Mic Is Off Before You Congratulate Someone On Their Pregnancy

May 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Hot douche hall of famer Maksim Chmerkovskiy and fellow Dancing with the Stars professional dancer Peta Murgatroyd are getting married. They announced that back in December during a show in Miami. They’re also apparently expecting a baby. That was announced on Monday on the set of DWTS, but not by Maksim and Peta. That announcement was provided by DWTS co-host Erin Andrews, and it was broadcast to everyone on set live via her still-on microphone.

According to TMZ, not a whole lot of people knew that Peta was knocked up; some close friends and family members didn’t know. But apparently Erin had some insider information, so she decided to go backstage during rehearsal and congratulate Maksim on successfully stuffing Peta’s pocket. The only problem was that she was hooked up to a mic, and everyone heard. As for how awkward it made things between Erin and Maksim and Peta, the answer is: very. Sources say that Maksim and Peta are pissed, because they wanted to announce it themselves. Then Erin allegedly attempted to fix it by trying to play it off like it was a joke.

As for if Peta is even pregnant or not, multiple sources are whispering to People that she is. Those sources could just be a bunch of people whose baby monitors and car radios accidentally intercepted a signal from the DWTS mic feed. Then again, they could have insider information. Maybe they were members of the DWTS audience who caught Season 22 winner Nyle DiMarco helping his partner Peta clean morning sickness barf off the mirrorball trophy on their way out of the studio last night.

I guess if Erin needs a silver lining, it’s that the only thing more embarrassing than accidentally blowing a pregnant lady’s cover would be if the cast and crew of DWTS heard her congratulating a lady who wasn’t even pregnant. Although that would have definitely made for some way more entertaining listening.

Here’s maybe-future-daddy Maksim making one of my nightmares come true by staging a flash mob at The Grove today.

Pics: ABC, Wenn.com

Maksim Chmerkovskiy Is Getting Married

December 6, 2015 / Posted by:

I know that he’s down on one knee, but thanks to that blurriness in the lower right corner, it totally looks like hot douche hall-of-famer Maksim Chmerkovskiy proposed to his girlfriend while lazily sitting on a chair, like “Hey, so you wanna do this, or what?

So, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, the cocky dude from Dancing with the Stars who you would totally let do the asshole cha-cha on your down-lows (don’t lie, acknowledge your demons) and former Hot Slut (yes, really), is trying that whole “being engaged to a fellow DWTS dancer” thing again. Way way back in 2009, Maksim slipped a ring on DWTS dancer Karina Smirnoff’s finger, but it wasn’t meant to be and they called that shit off and denied us some DWTS divorce drama. I know, how RUDE. Then he went on to hump on a whole bunch of famous types, like Kate Upton, and JLo. Now six years later, he’s trying it again with DWTS dancer Peta Murgatroyd.

People says that Maksim proposed to Heavens To Murgatroyd during a performance of Sway in Miami last night, and according to the picture he threw up on Instagram shortly after, she said yes. Someone also got a video of the moment Maksim asked Peta to be his future ex-wife. No, that’s rude. I’m sure they’ll be together for a long long time and it totally won’t end up getting messy after Peta catches Maksim doing the pantsless pasodoble in Tom Bergeron’s office with whatever “star” he’s been partnered with that season. Anyway, here’s the video.

We are all that dude who fell to the floor of shock. “Whaaaaat? Legendary manslut Maksim is finally retiring his dick? Good heavens, grab my smelling salts, I do believe I’ve got the vapors!

Pic: Instagram

I Guess Someone Didn’t Get The Memo That It Was A Halloween Party…

October 31, 2015 / Posted by:

Last night, George Clooney and his tequila tasting partner Rande Gerber threw a pre-Halloween party sponsored by their tequila company, Casamigos, and – shock of all shocks, a bunch of Georgie’s famous friends showed up. Even though the Casamigos party was held on the day before Halloween, everyone still dressed up, because why wouldn’t you? When you’re rich as shit, you can afford to have your assistant stand in line outside of the Hell on Earth that is Party City 3 days before Halloween. Still, there’s always that one person who cannot muster a single fuck and shows up in regular clothes, and that person was Salma Hayek. Stars, they’re just like us!

There is literally nothing Halloween-y about Salma Hayek. It’s like she forgot about that shit, and decided to swing by on her way home from Barneys. Salma is giving me “pity pop-in“, and I love it. She probably told her rich-ass husband, François-Henri Pinault, that they were going to make an appearance at a party hosted by “some guy she worked with on From Dusk till Dawn” and assured him that it would “only take a second.”

Or maybe that is her costume: second wife of a French billionaire is a costume, right? But really, why bother putting in any effort when Jessica Alba is going to show up and shut everyone else down with her on-point Romy White costume.

Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren attends Casamigos Halloween Bash in Beverly Hills, CA

That wig! You know someone is 100% into a costume when they spring for the good wig. For those of you screaming “BUT WHERE’S MICHELE???“, Jessica got a friend to dress up as Michele. I know, Cash Warren really dropped the ball on that one.

Here’s more famous types from George and Rande’s Casamigos party last night. Not pictured: George and Amal Clooney. I guess they decided to shock everyone and go as a couple who didn’t want to pose for the paps.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By Aubrey O’Day As A Slutty Cruella de Vil

October 26, 2015 / Posted by:

 

YES! You know that Slutoween has officially begun when a Z-list flower does herself up like a skankified version of a Disney cartoon character to go to some men’s magazine party. I needed something to cleanse my eyeballs of Colton Haynes’ nightmare-inducing skinny Ursula, and thankfully, Aubrey O’Day came along looking like Slutella de Vil at a Maxim Halloween party.

You know, I was going to call Maxim’s Halloween party a bootleg Playboy party, but I’d rather go to a Maxim party. Because at a Maxim party, you don’t have to feel your skin crawl as you watch Hugh Hefner pick out which plastic blondes he wants in his sad sex line of terror and you don’t have to worry about tackling a trick after seeing Bill Cosby hand her a drink. Besides, at a Playboy party, will you see this bronzer-covered rose looking like Cruella de Vil if Cruella de Vil finally went to prison for animal cruelty, got out and had to trade hand jobs for her fix (Dalmatian pelts) in the alley of a dog shelter? I think not! (No, I doubt Aubrey O’Day gets invited to Playboy parties anymore, but that’s not the point!)

Pics: Splash

Kirstie Alley Is Pissed At Maksim Chmerkovskiy For Hanging Out With Her Sworn Enemy Leah Remini

July 31, 2014 / Posted by:

Dancing With The Has-Beens resident toe-tapping man slut Maksim Chmerkovskiy threw some hunky shade at his former BFFTXDUP (best friend forever till Xenu do us part) Kirstie Alley on the Watch What Happens Live after show on Tuesday. During a call-in segment, Maks was asked if Kirstie ever tried to slip him some barley water and lure him to the dark side in an attempt to convert him to Scientology. Even though his eyes said “Yes, and there are still white windowless vans following my ass around and people digging through my garbage and Tommy Girl won’t stop calling me”, his mouth said no, which led Andy Cohen to ask if he gets along well with Scientology’s Spanxed High Priestess. Maksim answered:

“Until recently. She stopped getting along with me. I think the world of her. I’m not judging people by their religion. I’m Jewish, and you know, I don’t really believe in science fiction, but whatever. We had a great relationship. I thought we had a great relationship, and if it was something else or not, I don’t know. But I got a message that now that I’m associating with other people that she can’t be associated with, I am no longer to be spoken with, and sorry, but that is what it is.”

Maks didn’t have to name names, since anyone with a busted E-meter for a brain knew that the usurper in question is Leah Remini. Leah escaped the clutches of Scientology last year, and her picture has been on Kirstie Alley’s dartboard ever since. But what’s the connection to Maks and Leah? Maks has just entered a PR contract totally sincere relationship with Jennifer Lopez, who just happens to be BFFs with Leah Remini.

So Kirstie, who’s clearly a 15-year-old high school bitch trapped in the body of a 63-year-old Spanxed marshmallow, found out that one of her friends is dating the best friend of a girl she’s in a fight with. So how does Kirstie tell Maks that she’s done with his ass? The same way most 15-year-old girls deliver messages: Maks says he found out via message through a friend. I can just picture it now: John Travolta marches up to Maks in the cafeteria, slaps him across the face, hisses “That’s a message from my gurl Kirstie, you backstabbing skank!”, then secretly slips Maks his number while giggling “OMG! Call me sometime?”

Here’s Maks’s girlfriend JLo and her best friend Leah out shopping in Hollywood yesterday. I bet Kirstie and John have already printed out these pictures and glued them into the Burn Book.

Pics: Fame Flynet

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