At last night’s Met Gala, the category was: Catholic High Drag. And Madonna was there. So knowing two these things….
- Madge has been an extra sharp thorn in the Catholic church’s side for decades.
- Madge gets ten years added to her life when she bares those 59-year-old nalgitas and chichis at the Met Gala.
…I figured and hoped that she’d really blow the tit hat off of the Pope’s head by showing up in nothing but a crucifix butt plug, a crown of thrones clit ring, and communion wafers barely covering her nips. Or I figured she’d just bring Sinead O’Connor who’d spray paint “filthy pedos” all over the exhibit. (Seriously, the Met Gala needed Sinead.) But Madge delivered a real PLOT TWIST when she hit the eyes of the people with “grown Heidi at the funeral of her rich Italian husband.” She should’ve went all the way by yodel-ay-hee-boo-hooing onto a casket.
As we know, Tupac Shakur and Madonna had a brief thing in the 90s, and he ended it because she’s white. Tupac wrote it all in a letter to her in 1995, a year before he was murdered. Well, that letter, and a few other personal items from Madge’s life were going to be auctioned. She tried to stop that auction, but a judge has struck down her motion, because nothing is sacred. Continue reading
Maybe I’m just starting some shit, but for two chicks who seem to have nothing in common, Madonna and Angelina Jolie sure know how to rip pages from the same playbook. Both quietly amassed their own child army, both have the posture of a Dementor, and both sure as hell like to make brutally depressing violent movies. Somehow Madonna cajoled a studio to let her get behind the camera again because she’s about to make her third movie. Sadly, it doesn’t involve running around looking for someone named Susan. Continue reading
Madonna recently posted a video of herself getting forked real good on Instagram. And for once, Madonna is doing something age appropriate! Like any other 59 year old, she’s just discovered the joys of Snapchat filters, five years after the kids have moved on to whatever it is the kids have moved on to.
The only thing Madonna might love more than the fresh blood of greased-up backup dancers is to gyrate around a crucifix and surf on a nun. So Anna Wintour really missed an opportunity by not making the Material Girl the lady priest or co-host or whatever of next year’s Met Gala. Because the theme is honoring Catholic fashion. Instead, it’ll be a “say wha?” trinity with Rihanna, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney serving as celebrity co-hosts. Continue reading
Not like that. Lady Gaga gives her thoughts on Madonna in a scene from her new documentary, Gaga: Five Foot Two. If I had been noting Gaga’s actual physical position in regards to Madonna, this post would have been titled “Lady Gaga At Home Watching Every Single Appearance Of Madonna That She Can Find On YouTube In Order To Rip Her Off Some More.” I kid – innovator Lady Gaga is as original as Beyonce and Taylor Swift combined! Vulture watched
Truth Or Dare Gaga: Five Foot Two and reported back that Gaga thinks Madge is a…well, let’s just say that it smells like kitty litter in here and it’s probably because of the pussy. Continue reading