Yesterday was the day sisters ALL over the world put on on their pink pussy ears hats and stood together for the Women’s March. They were protesting everything awful that the new ruler of the free world (and don’t think Donald Trump’s not taking that title literally) represents. The Washington D.C. march featured several celebrity speakers, and among them was Madonna. Madge took advantage of the historic event to indulge in one of her favorite activities – dropping fuck bombs in public!
CNN was providing live coverage of the march, and whomever was manning the beep button over there was either asleep or firmly on Team Pussy Grabs Back, because the viewing audience was treated to the uncensored version of Madonna’s speech.
Piers Morgan’s restless troll syndrome acted up again recently when he decided to start shit with Lady Gaga and Madonna. Piers probably thought he was safe from any retaliation, since Lady Gaga and Madonna are automatically programmed to come for each other in the event they’re both dragged into something. But that didn’t happen.
Piers ended up on Lady Gaga’s shit list over tweets he made about her and Madonna’s rape accusations and also her PTSD claims. And Lady Gaga’s talons are firmly aimed at Piers.
They’ve barely completed construction of the urn at Paisley Park holding Prince’s cremains, and Madonna is already sort of smirking aloud at outliving him and Michael Jackson.
Schadenfreude is legit, Madge, but usually you keep it to yourself so as not to appear bitter and evil. Billboard gave our oldest living pop harpy their Woman of the Year Award on Friday night and she took the opportunity to gloat over the dead.
Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke segment aired last night as promised on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Thanks to a promo clip, we already knew she was going to attempt to twerk in James Corden’s karaoke room on wheels while cruising around NYC.
Madonna and James sang Madonna classics like Vogue, Papa Don’t Preach, Express Yourself, and and they also sang Bitch I’m Madonna. James also got deep and asked her if she’d get married again (she just wants someone who understands her sense of humor) and grilled her about her friendship with Michael Jackson. Here’s what we learn about Madonna and MJ: she once got Michael loose with a glass of chardonnay and kissed him. She doesn’t elaborate on what happened after that kiss. Thank you Madonna! That was very kind of you.
At least she stayed in her seat somewhat. It would be too dangerous if she was allowed to move around the cabin. Nobody wants to watch A Very Special Carpool Karaoke that opens with Madge pretending to jerk off the parking break while singing Who’s That Girl and ends with a terrified James Corden squealing “Oi oi oi stop trying to hump the steering wheel!”
It’s a well-known fact that Madonna doesn’t care for NYC’s laws, and last night’s carpool karaoke proved that. Twerking, crotch-flexing, and hanging her business out of the car window? That’s two blatant traffic infractions right there: riding without a seat belt and distracting other drivers with your horny mom moves.
It’s been almost a month since stale off-brand Cheez-It Donald Trump caused a rise in stomach ulcers by being elected the President of the United States, and everyone has a theory of how it happened. Madonna thinks she knows how President-elect Donald Trump happened. Are you a woman? According to Madonna, President Trump is partially your fault.
Madonna – she’s just like us! Except for the wanting to remarry Sean Penn part. Her being married to that guy once was enough for me… he screams at the microwave to go faster and the dogs are afraid of him. Madge’s twerking her possibly new ass beside junior cat person Ariana Grande the other night was but one saucy delight amongst many at her Art Basel benefit. She also brought back her latest stage creation, the trampy ladyclown with the drinking problem, to raise money and troll President-elect Donald Trump with the inadvertent help of Britney Spears. By the way, that’s Madge in the pic up top. Lisa Frank isn’t coming out with a horror movie.