The only thing Madonna might love more than the fresh blood of greased-up backup dancers is to gyrate around a crucifix and surf on a nun. So Anna Wintour really missed an opportunity by not making the Material Girl the lady priest or co-host or whatever of next year’s Met Gala. Because the theme is honoring Catholic fashion. Instead, it’ll be a “say wha?” trinity with Rihanna, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney serving as celebrity co-hosts. Continue reading
Not like that. Lady Gaga gives her thoughts on Madonna in a scene from her new documentary, Gaga: Five Foot Two. If I had been noting Gaga’s actual physical position in regards to Madonna, this post would have been titled “Lady Gaga At Home Watching Every Single Appearance Of Madonna That She Can Find On YouTube In Order To Rip Her Off Some More.” I kid – innovator Lady Gaga is as original as Beyonce and Taylor Swift combined! Vulture watched
Truth Or Dare Gaga: Five Foot Two and reported back that Gaga thinks Madge is a…well, let’s just say that it smells like kitty litter in here and it’s probably because of the pussy. Continue reading
Madonna just opened up a state-of-the-art children’s hospital in Malawi, the home country of her four adopted children; 11 year olds David and Mercy, and more recently, 5-year-old twins Estere and Stella. In a recent interview with People, Madonna vehemently denies that she’s the baby snatching celebrity she-devil she was made out to be in the wake of the controversy surrounding her adoption of David back in 2008.
The sexual prowess of Madonna’s latest youthful conquest, 31-year-old Portuguese model Kevin Sampaio, must be on point. Because Madge, 58, up and moved herself and the kids to Lisbon, Portugal! The official story is that she ended her last tour there and fell in love with the place. But it’s also possible that she envisioned an unending supply of gorgeous young Portuguese men to suck the youth and vitality out of in order to achieve her goal of immortality.
Because Lady Gaga is the Jennifer Jason Leigh to Madonna’s Bridget Fonda in the Single White Female charade known as pop music, it’s well past time to drop her video extravaganza EXPOSÉ. You know, the kind that goes behind closed doors and lets us fans and nosy assholes see what it’s like when the curtain goes down, the corset comes off, and she lets out the queef she’s been holding in since she belted out “Poker Face” two songs into her set at the Staples Center. She’s dropping a documentary about herself called Five Foot Two on Netflix on September 22, and a slew of clips are all over her Instagram.
Madonna turned 59 yesterday and she celebrated by posting a feisty video of herself and her wobbly boobies singing “B-Day Song” off her MDNA album. She forgot the lyrics, though. There is an opportunity here to make some sort of ageist joke about how she’s approaching senior citizenhood, so it makes sense that she’s forgetting lyrics now. But I won’t make it, goddamnit! I’m going to be 59 someday. So are you! Birthdays are stupid and Madge proves that we can keep rockin’ forever. As long as we have the correct Instagram filters because her face is as smooth as porcelain. It actually might be porcelain. She’s a billionaire, she can afford all the latest. Like that Willy Wonka as a My Little Pony jockey outfit she’s wearing.
And she doesn’t have to worry about people giving her the business for forgetting the lyrics to that song. Because I’m pretty sure people don’t remember that song or that that MDNA record.