Category: Maddox

Angelina Jolie Doesn’t Want Her Kids To Be “Perfectly Behaved Little People”

December 31, 2018 / Posted by:

Now that her divorce with Brad Pitt has moved past the custody phase (I think? Like I don’t want to jinx her), Angelina Jolie is starting the follow-up struggle: recovering her tattered public persona. It’s hard to come out of a malicious divorce without looking like an evil bitch, and considering how many “sources” were popping up to spill some tea, Angie definitely didn’t. But here she is talking about her kids, so how can she be a bitch?

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Brad Pitt Might Have Audio Tapes Of Angelina Jolie That Would Make Her Look Bad

November 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Let’s take bets. Which god-awful mess do you think will run longer – the Trump presidency or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce situation? I’m putting my Keno money down on Brad and Angie. Trump might only have four years to torture us. Think about it… Jennifer Aniston is still managing to find herself on magazine covers, and Brad left her ass over 12 years ago.

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Brad Pitt Didn’t Commit Child Abuse, So Rules DCFS

November 10, 2016 / Posted by:

TMZ reported yesterday that the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services closed their file on Brad Pitt after coming to the conclusion that whatever he did or said to 15-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt on that private plane wasn’t child abuse. Officials apparently busted out an “exhaustive” investigation and interviewed Brad, St. Angie Jolie, the child army and witnesses who were on that plane. They also investigated other claims that Brad has been verbally abusive to his 6 children before. They’re done with the investigation and decided that Brad is not a human version of that “Hey stupid, don’t you know how to listen?” PSA from the 1980s. Okay, but did DCFS ever find out if Brad made his children watch his Chanel commercial, because that counts as child abuse.

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DCFS Is Now Investigating Brangelina’s Entire Family And Other Possible Incidents

October 26, 2016 / Posted by:

The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services was mainly looking at Brad Pitt’s alleged drunken meltdown on a plane and his side tried to convince everyone that it was a one-time thing, but after talking to the kids and Angelina Jolie, DCFS has reportedly opened up their investigation and are now passing their magnifying glasses over other incidents that may have gone down. Yup, this mess got messier…

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Brad Pitt And Maddox Jolie-Pitt Had A Face-To-Face Meeting

October 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Yesterday, we learned that since Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, Brad Pitt has visited with the child army twice and neither time included 15-year-old Maddox. Maddox clearly needed some time before he was mentally ready to make small talk with the reason why he’ll always feel a little tense when he sees the bar cart on an airplane. TMZ says that Maddox was finally ready to meet with Brad, and that meeting happened yesterday afternoon.

Sources say that Brad and Maddox’s meeting was in the presence of a therapist. That’s a whole lot different than what I pictured, which was Brad pulling up to Angelina Jolie’s Malibu rental on his motorcycle and grunting, “Hey kid, how you holding up?” while lighting a match for his cigarette with his thumbnail.

There was apparently a plan in place for Brad and Maddox to get together earlier than yesterday, but the therapist felt the timing wasn’t right. Even though Angelina is rumored to be in a bunker with her legal team trying to find new ways to take down Brad in court, the source claims she was fully on board with him meeting with Maddox, because she wants her kids to have both a mother and father in their lives.

Hmmmmm, I wonder who leaked this story? Normally therapists keep that shit private, so I’m curious who dropped the info into TMZ’s inbox. If it was Angelina’s side, then I applaud their restraint for not adding in a part about Brad showing up 10 minutes late smelling like the inside of Snoop Dogg’s tour bus and that he swiped a copy of Psychology Today from the waiting room on his way out.

Pic: Splash

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St. Angie Jolie And Brad Pitt Haven’t Agreed On A Custody Situation Yet

October 19, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s been a month since Webster’s dictionary removed the word “love” forever since it doesn’t exist anymore now that Brangelina is broken. Since then, St. Angie Jolie’s super team of Pitt fighters and Brad Pitt’s team (Jacques Jolie-Pitt and LegalZoom) have been trying to work out a custody agreement that they both can deal with. The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services recommended a temporary custody agreement, which they both agreed to. The child army has been living with Angie full-time for the past three weeks and Brad got to visit them a couple of times. That temporary agreement expires tomorrow, and People says that shit is still strained and they haven’t come up with a permanent custody agreement. I would say that they should settle it the highly professional way, with a Rock, Paper, Scissors battle, but that wouldn’t work since Brad would probably stop every 2 seconds to say, “How do I make rock again?

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