The difference between goddesses and us peasants is that when peasants like myself wake up with a giant purple ruffled wart on our shoulder, we go down to the free clinic with a list of our past fuck partners while trying to remember which one of them rubbed their dirty dick on our shoulder. But when goddesses wake up with a giant purple ruffed wart on their shoulder, they work it to the core at an event and bring the people to their knees.
Iman put the glamour in Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards in NYC last night when she slid along the red carpet in a Christian Siriano gown that made her look like that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur if that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur got a fairy godmother to turn them into a human goddess. Iman also looks like the most gorgeous venus fly trap that ever sprouted from the earth, and if they ever do that Little Shop of Horrors remake, she can play Audrey II. But instead of eating humans, she causes them to pass out from the power of her pose skills.
Here’s more from last night’s Women of the Year Awards. Nobody can touch Iman and her ruffled fortune cookie, but I am into Nicole Kidman’s tits beneath my wings dress.
A couple of months ago, James Cameron opined that the most recent Patty Jenkins helmed blockbuster Wonder Woman, starring Gal Gadot, was a step back for women everywhere because Gal has nice tits. Recently, James was out promoting Avatar 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 8 (7 will go straight to streaming) and decided to show the world what a real feminist looks like and doubled down on his criticism of Patty’s “too hot for basement dwelling neckbeards to handle” film. Thankfully Lynda Carter, a true feminist icon, was there to titty slap James across the face.
According to People Magazine, TV’s original Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter, is ready and willing to make an appearance in inevitable follow up to this summer’s hit, the Wonder Woman film version starring Gal Gadot. In fact, Lynda said “we were trying to get me in the first one and we couldn’t make it work with our timing.” She’s already discussed a possible role in the “all but confirmed” sequel with director Patty Jenkins.
This picture also features a lady making the exact same face I made after hearing that Lynda Carter was not playing Wonder Woman in the Wonder Woman movie. (Truth talk: She’s probably throwing a stanky side-eye at Chris Pine in half-assed Westworld cosplay. See: the gallery below)
Wonder Woman had its Hollywood premiere at the Pantages Theater last night, Lynda Carter was gracious enough to bestow her star power upon that shit by showing up, even though the movie makers did her wrong by not putting her in the movie at all. (Although, I am hoping that the director Patty Jenkins righted that highly illegal wrong by adding a post-credits scene where Wonder Woman buys her first invisible plane from Amazonian salesladies played by Lynda and my second favorite WW, Cathy Lee Crosby.)
Wonder Woman doesn’t come out until next week, so full reviews aren’t out yet, but the first reactions came out and many said that it’s the best DCEU movie since The Dark Knight. I hope it’s good since some of us have been waiting for centuries for a Wonder Woman movie, but saying it’s the best DCEU movie in a while ain’t saying much. If DC put out a movie that was nothing but a 90-minute shot of a dried turd in a cape, it’d be the best DCEU movie since The Dark Knight.
And now here’s more of LYNDA FUCKING CARTER, Gal Gadot and the rest of the cast of WW last night.
Millennials are looking at that pic like, “That’s not Gal Gadot!” And us Gen-Old-Whore-ers are looking at that pic like, “That’s not Helen Slater!”
I don’t watch Supergirl, because in the 80s I made a vow to never watch a Supergirl movie, TV show or whatever that doesn’t co-star Faye Dunaway and Brenda Vaccaro. So I have no idea if what I’m about to write is a spoiler or not, but you’ve been warned.
Lynda Carter is playing the President of the United States in several episodes of the second season of Supergirl, and she shot scenes yesterday in Vancouver. Melissa Benoist posted a picture on Instagram of herself and the only Wonder Woman who matters! It is a damn shame that Supergirl moved to The CW and isn’t on CBS anymore. Because if it was still at CBS, the executives would give the oldies what they really want by revealing in the first episode of the season that POTUS is actually Wonder Woman, and they’d eventually phase out Supergirl and change the name of the show to The Wonder Woman Show Starring Lynda Carter! The ratings would fly higher than Supergirl ever could. Well, the ratings would be good as long as CBS didn’t air it opposite Antiques Roadshow.