Regardless of whether she is or isn’t a member of Taylor Swift’s girl squad, Lorde is probably going to get a call from Big T herself today. Because I’m sure the thought of helping Lorde prove that genius Kanye West isn’t as original and creative as he thinks he is has really put some pep in Taylor’s slither. Lorde has performed in a floating glass box, and so has Kanye and Kid Cudi. But according to Lorde, she did it first and Kanye and Kid are blatant copycats.
Since that paean to borderline personality disorder Girls wrapped up after six seasons, Lena Dunham is mostly known for the end of her five-year relationship with musician Jack Antonoff. She’s gotten some mileage out of it (a couple of essays and speculation about a new dude in her life), but the gossip cycle is about one yoctosecond long and people could very well start to ask “who she?” in regards to the writer/actress.
So it’s time to make the donuts. Hence, Lena posted a pic of herself on Instagram cuddling with her ex, despite their romance decaying in its grave. They’re still friends or something. Somewhere in New Zealand, Lorde just got this pic in a DM from Lena with the caption #YourMoveBitch.
Lorde’s Instagram Story Featuring A Bathtub And A Whitney Houston Reference Went Over About As Well As You’d Imagine
Lorde is in hot water (sorry not sorry) with Whitney Houston fans for posting an Instagram story featuring a luxurious bathtub with the caption “And iiii will always love you.” And now she should probably just go ahead and get into a witness protection program, or something, because she’ll never live it down. Brandy probably has a hit out on her.
If Lorde hadn’t lost Album of the Year to Bruno Mars at the Grammys last Sunday, she probably would have gone up stage and gushed a bit over her muse Jack Antonoff before thanking her fans. But sadly her fans never got that shout-out. They were even denied a thank-you interpretive dance performance. Lorde could have hopped on Instagram and thanked them for sticking with her while the Grammys snubbed her album Melodrama. But Lorde is a spirit from the past haunting the body of a moody 21-year-old, so she thanked them in a much more vintage way.
Lorde was the only artist nominated for Album of The Year who didn’t get asked to perform solo at last night’s Grammy Awards ceremony. Lorde was also the only woman nominated for Album of The Year for her sophomore album Melodrama. According to Billboard, some are calling this discrepancy a mere mathematical matter of limited stage time and some are calling it sexist as fuck. Sexist? The music industry? Knock me over with a feather.
It didn’t take long after Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff announced they were over for stories to come out about how he’s moved on and was dating a “musician“. People also questioned who his rumored “musician” rebound was and the bets were being placed on Lorde. But don’t you dare ever think of Jack and Lorde in such a way! Whether or not Jack and Lorde are engaging in sacred heterosexual acts of boy-on-girl dating rituals is none of your business. Lorde confirmed she too wasn’t feeling the speculation by retweeting Jack’s tweet.
normally i would never address rumors but i resent having the most important friendships and working relationships in my life reduced to dumb hetero normative gossip. those relationships are deeply important and sacred. with that said, im not seeing anyone. lol.
— jackantonoff (@jackantonoff) January 17, 2018
Hetero normative gossip? I know Jack swears he’s single, but he and Lena Dunham really ought to think about finding a way to make it work between the two of them. They’re obviously soul mates.
And you hear that ladies? Jack is single and ready to mingle! But only if you’re seriously invested in such a deep commitment as dual-single mingling. No casual hook-ups need apply. Please provide letters of reference from at least two previous sacred relationships, as well as a brief description on what “deep” means to you.