Lorde was supposed to perform her latest despondent art school teen song, “Homemade Dynamite,” at the MTV VMAs last night. Unfortunately, Lorde came down with the flu before showtime. Lorde must be her own pushy stage mom, because flu be damned, Lorde still went out there and put on a show!
Lorde looks like that in the above pic, because Taylor Swift’s kiss is the “of death” kind, and she knows she’s forever doomed. (Taylor whispering “mine for life…” in her ear like a Gollum in heels didn’t help, either.)
The PR threat level gauge must have hit orange (aka “A bitch is trying to leave!” -level) over at Serpent Squad HQ. Noted Serpent Squad member and jaded 45-year-old in a 20-year-old body, Lorde, claimed that she actually has little to do with Tay Tay & Co. in an interview this week.
Lorde, the moody little sister of Taylor Swift’s friend collection, has recently been pretty open about her famous friend situation. Last month, Lorde compared (and promptly apologized for) being friends with famous people to having a friend with an autoimmune disease. Lorde is speaking once again about her most-famous friendship, and she’s still just as enthusiastic.
Diseases are getting dragged this week. First, Hanson compared Chlamydia to Justin Bieber’s voice, and now Lorde is saying that being friends with Taylor Swift is like being friends with someone with an autoimmune disease. Hanson has yet to burp up a sorry for shitting on Chlamydia like that, but Lorde has apologized, and probably because she realized that someone with a disease like Lupus already has enough to deal with and they don’t need to be compared to the exhaustive snake in Skipper’s clothing.
It felt like every celebrity and their semi-famous dog had let everyone know what side they were on during this election. You had people dressing up as their favorite candidate for Halloween and gingers fighting on Twitter for candidate supremacy and Malcolm’s Dad threatening to move to Canada if Trump wins and Third Eye Blind trolling the RNC. Lots of people had feelings. One person who kept their lips sealed was Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift never said if she was “with her.” She also never endorsed Donald Trump, and I’m sure that really hurt his feelings, because she looks like what he would choose if he could replace Tiffany.
Taylor Swift doesn’t currently have a boyfriend in her life, which means she’s got a whole lot more time for her girl squad until the next one comes around. Last night, the most popular slice of Wonder Bread in the bag went to a private Kings of Leon concert in NYC with longtime squad members Lorde, Martha Hunt, Lily Donaldson, and Cara Delevingne. And she also brought out her new recruits.