You guys are so lucky. A journalist had to spend at least a month receiving very personal text messages from Lena Dunham, then had to visit her at both her California bungalow and her parents’ “stately residence” and interview her for what probably amounted to hours upon hours of solipsistic tedium. Then I had to read the resulting profile which gave me a migraine and mild indigestion. Now you get to sit there wherever you are and reap the benefits of our suffering. Think about that when you tell your friend later that you read somewhere that Lena is thinking about adopting a “hairless black puppy” that she wants to name Rosa but was worried people would be mad at her “bc of Rosa Parks bc” she has to “consider those things”. So, consider that!
Regardless of whether she is or isn’t a member of Taylor Swift’s girl squad, Lorde is probably going to get a call from Big T herself today. Because I’m sure the thought of helping Lorde prove that genius Kanye West isn’t as original and creative as he thinks he is has really put some pep in Taylor’s slither. Lorde has performed in a floating glass box, and so has Kanye and Kid Cudi. But according to Lorde, she did it first and Kanye and Kid are blatant copycats.
Since that paean to borderline personality disorder Girls wrapped up after six seasons, Lena Dunham is mostly known for the end of her five-year relationship with musician Jack Antonoff. She’s gotten some mileage out of it (a couple of essays and speculation about a new dude in her life), but the gossip cycle is about one yoctosecond long and people could very well start to ask “who she?” in regards to the writer/actress.
So it’s time to make the donuts. Hence, Lena posted a pic of herself on Instagram cuddling with her ex, despite their romance decaying in its grave. They’re still friends or something. Somewhere in New Zealand, Lorde just got this pic in a DM from Lena with the caption #YourMoveBitch.
Lorde’s Instagram Story Featuring A Bathtub And A Whitney Houston Reference Went Over About As Well As You’d Imagine
Lorde is in hot water (sorry not sorry) with Whitney Houston fans for posting an Instagram story featuring a luxurious bathtub with the caption “And iiii will always love you.” And now she should probably just go ahead and get into a witness protection program, or something, because she’ll never live it down. Brandy probably has a hit out on her.
If Lorde hadn’t lost Album of the Year to Bruno Mars at the Grammys last Sunday, she probably would have gone up stage and gushed a bit over her muse Jack Antonoff before thanking her fans. But sadly her fans never got that shout-out. They were even denied a thank-you interpretive dance performance. Lorde could have hopped on Instagram and thanked them for sticking with her while the Grammys snubbed her album Melodrama. But Lorde is a spirit from the past haunting the body of a moody 21-year-old, so she thanked them in a much more vintage way.
Lorde was the only artist nominated for Album of The Year who didn’t get asked to perform solo at last night’s Grammy Awards ceremony. Lorde was also the only woman nominated for Album of The Year for her sophomore album Melodrama. According to Billboard, some are calling this discrepancy a mere mathematical matter of limited stage time and some are calling it sexist as fuck. Sexist? The music industry? Knock me over with a feather.