The new season of American Idol is off to an cringy start despite the fact that they vowed they weren’t going to show any bad auditions. Instead, the premiere episode still made folks squirm and watch through their fingers because of Katy Perry’s big ole sticky icky cherry chapstick biscuit bopper. That’s because 19-year-old contestant Benjamin Glaze got his very first kiss forced on him by Katy during his audition. Problem is, according to a The New York Times, Ben was preserving his mouth virginity for someone special (and also presumably somebody not wearing chain mail and a studded dog collar).
Selma Blair takes it all back! Cameron Diaz is not retiring from acting after all. Well, at least that’s what Selma says. Selma issued a RED ALERT to the public backtracking on her previous comments about her The Sweetest Thing co-star tossing her SAG card into a bonfire. Selma now claims it was all a joke! Here’s Selma’s fevered retraction, as if we can believe anything she says anymore.
📠📺☎️👩🏻🏫 BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨🚨. Guys please, I was making a joke in an interview. CAMERON DIAZ is NOT retiring from ANYTHING. And for more breaking news: I am NOW retiring from being Cameron Diaz’s spokesperson. 🎙
— Selma Blair (@SelmaBlair) March 12, 2018
Oof, Selma’s emoji game… Fax machine emoji? Math teacher emoji? In another tweet (since deleted) Selma said (via E! News):
“No no no! It was a quip. Delete. Delete delete. It would only be official if it came from her mouth. Not mine answering a question of sweetest thing part deux was happening. Red alert. not fact.”
According to E!, Cameron hasn’t said anything publicly one way or the other about retiring from acting. She’s only talked about trying to “find herself”. But Selma’s mad scramble backwards up the cliff tells me Cameron’s not so preoccupied with making sure she’s fucking to the right twin to let such a broad statement go unchecked. Cameron probably called Selma up and was like “here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna tweet out a retraction and you’re gonna work in a bad teacher emoji somehow or else there will definitely be no sweetest thing part deux, capiche?! I got back-ends on that bitch”.
Pic: Columbia Pictures