According to TMZ, Lisa Marie Presley has filed for divorce from her husband of ten years Michael Lockwood. Lisa cited “irreconcilable differences“, and reportedly filed papers a couple weeks ago on June 13th. Lisa Marie has requested full custody of their 7-year-old twin daughters, Harper and Finley, with monitored visitation for Michael. She’s not asking for any spousal support or child support. But that’s kind of a duh, since being Elvis Presley’s sole heir is the kind of thing that keeps your bank account tight for life.
This is Lisa’s fourth time writing her name on divorce papers. She was married to the father of her two older children, musician Danny Keough, for six years. In 1994 she was inducted into the Relationships That Make No Sense wing of the WTF Hall of Fame by getting married to Michael Jackson. They got divorced two years later in 1996. In 2002, she kept the “getting married to crazy” train going by getting married to Nicolas Cage. Just like her marriage to MJ, she called it quits with Nicolas Cage after two years of marriage. Two years after that, she got married to musician and major hat enthusiast Michael Lockwood.
I wonder who David Miscavige’s worst nightmare will get married to next? Lisa’s husbands include a musician, an iconic celebrity, an actor who takes his job really seriously and is kind of crazy, and a dude who dresses in a style I can best describe as Sunset Strip Steampunk. You know, it kinda sounds like Lisa’s dream man is Johnny Depp. Lisa Marie, you need to love yourself more, girl.
But enough about Lisa Marie – let’s take a look back at Michael Lockwood’s hats! TMZ says that Lisa Marie and Michael signed a postnup (ie. a prenup signed after marriage), and I’m really hoping one of the conditions of their postnup is that Michael gets custody of his hat collection. Because it’s pretty obvious from the pictures below that his true love is those hats. I’d hate to see them get separated.
Yesterday, The Daily Mail said that RPattz is smearing glitter grease all over the body of Lisa Marie Presley’s daughter Riley Keough (born name: Danielle Riley Keough) and that the news hurt Kristen Stewart, because she wants to be the one munching on Elvis’ granddaughter’s box instead of RPattz. Well, Riley’s rep tells Gossip Cop that The Daily Mail is telling lies. And I’m telling Riley’s rep that they’re telling lies because The Daily Mail never tells lies! But whatever…
Riley’s rep says that RPattz and Riley aren’t licking each other’s taints and that wasn’t her in the pictures of him driving around in his pick-up truck with a girl. They’re not dating.
The good news is that Twihards can stop making Riley Keough voodoo dolls and can spend their entire holiday weekend chanting ROBSTENISUNBROKEN while fapping with an Edward Cullen doll. The better news is that I finally had a reason to post this gorgeous cover of People Magazine of Lisa Marie with frosted hair and vampire brows.