Never has a word looked so completely wrong superimposed over a person. Lindsay Lohan has found herself a new gig that is only a tiny bit less confusing than designing headscarves.
Consider, if you will, a fallen ginger acting angel. The fallen ginger acting angel devolves into an attention-seeking global citizen/yacht girl. Then imagine the attention-seeking global-citizen/yacht girl transitioning into an attention-seeking foreign agent/supposed global savior. Now imagine that attention-seeking foreign agent/supposed global savior (who was raised Irish-Catholic and hails from Long Island) possibly converting to Islam! That move would be the ULTIMATE in sad attention acquisition! Hence, Lindsay Lohan throwing the above image up on her Instagram and hinting that she’s on her way to Mecca via a new fashion line. I’m sure Allah just met with his PR apparatus to collaborate on a public response which will boil down to “no, thank you.”
Lindsay Lohan was on Good Morning Britain today with dried up glob of butt jelly Piers Morgan and she told a story about how she was stopped by an agent at Heathrow in London while trying to catch a flight to New York. No, the agent didn’t stop her because they took one look at her face and believed that she may be The Joker in a bad disguise and is making her way to Gotham City to wreak havoc on it. LiLo says that she was “racially profiled” because of the headscarf she was wearing. And now begins yet another episode of Ginger Wreck, Say What?!
Disney is doing live-action remakes of pretty much all their cartoon movies, because Mickey Mouse is a greedy money whore who knows that fools will throw their cash at anything with the Disney logo on it. Disney is working on a live-action The Little Mermaid, and over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan proved once again that’s she’s the corner where delusion and desperate meet when she said on Instagram that she wants be in it. No, LiLo doesn’t think she should play one of the polyps in Ursula’s garden of poor unfortunate souls. LiLo wants to be 16-year-old Ariel. You know, that idea isn’t that crazy. I mean, Ariel is a klepto and most of her body is covered with slimy scales.
On Friday, Lindsay Lohan sat down with the Daily Mail in New York City for a Facebook Live chat. For the past couple of years, Lindsay has been all about that European life, and she’s made no secret about how much more she likes living there than the US. But she decided to return to the US for a bit. And according to Lindsay, it was a real ordeal for her emotions.
Lindsay Lohan re-opened her Instagram this week. It’s undergone a complete refurbishment, going with the whole “Lindsay Lohan, Global Peacekeeper” persona she’s recently come up with in lieu of an acting career. It’s all demure dresses and posing with political figures and refugees now. You can forget pics of her laying about on yachts, missing fingers and smoking in bikinis! (But, she’s only posted twice so far, so don’t despair.)