Lindsay Lohan Wasn’t In The Mood To Talk About That Syrian Refugee “Kidnapping” Video For Her Paper Magazine Interview
Don’t let the new reality show or this high profile Paper Magazine “Break the Internet” profile fool you. Lindsay Lohan is still a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto of a mess. If she thought giving this stingy interview was supposed baptize her anew in the public eye, then she’s still as vapid, vain, and oblivious as ever. The full title of the piece is Princess Charming: Inside Lindsay Lohan’s Enduring Cult of Celebrity, and I guess it’s an apt title is you consider that Lindsay lives in Dubai, surrounded by Saudi princes (a detail eagerly provided by her kid sister, Ali Lohan), completely shut off (by choice) from the real world where people are held accountable for their actions. If that’s what they meant by princess, then sure.
The poor people of Greece had been through enough with their economy in the tube…and then came Lindsay Lohan. LiLo has been singing the corneas off the Greek isles with her dance moves of her own night club while filming a reality show that sounds like a poor man’s Vanderpump Rules, which is saying something since that entire cast seems like a giant case of Bank of America overdraft fees. I guess they have enough footage of Lindsay splitting time between showing Paris Hilton how a faux-DJ really “works” and paying off the bounces to keep Dina Lohan out of sight because MTV filed papers that indicate the show will air sometime in 2019 – and may even have a title!
The Blast says they got a hold of Viacom (MTV’s parent company) documents that reveal the show that was originally called Lohan Beach Club was renamed Lindsay Lohan: Paradise Boss. Considering the average MTV viewer was probably a zygote the last time LiLo had a hit flick, I’m not holding my breath on ratings, but the network seems to have faith in generating something out of Lindsay that is more than whatever it was Oprah was trying when she had a go at the LiLo reality show circus. MTV later came out with a statement that the Paradise Boss title is an old one and that a bigger announcement will come sometime this week to fully promote the show.
The Viacom docs promise live action, comedy, AND drama. I personally got enough of all three in the one Instagram of her dancing, so I think Ima pass on the show like Ariana Grande passed on having LiLo be a part of that Mean Girls homage in her next video!
Are there any early aughts Rom-Coms that Ariana Grande hasn’t sniped for her next video? Ariana has been teasing that her upcoming video for “thank u, next” for weeks now, and it has everything from Legally Blonde to Bring It On to 13 Going On 30, giving many an early-00s actor or actress a much-needed jolt to their SAG card. The one she’s been teasing most has been the Mean Girls stretch of the video where she plays Regina George and has a blend of impersonators and actual cast members reprising their roles. No, the video still isn’t out, but a trailer is. And Linsday Lohan wasn’t invited.
Well, I for one, am thankful that somebody is out here letting Tyra Banks do her damn thing. Tyra’s an affable, good natured clown, and we could all use a little more of that in #thesetryingtimes. As you know, somebody gave Tyra upwards of $5,000 and an after-closing shopping spree at TopShop to make a sequel to Life-Size which co-starred Lindsay Lohan and originally aired on the Disney Channel back in 2000. As promised, for Life-Size 2: Smize Queen, Tyra’s recorded a new version of the song “Be A Star” and don’t you dare say it’s anything less than a masterpiece. Yes, this is the hill I’ve chosen to die on. #Justice4Tyra.
Lindsay Lohan is back in the news again, but no need to worry, refugees of the world who are simply walking the streets with your own children, she’s not here for you. …This time… Lindsay is making headlines after her team of people (which might be just Dina Lohan using several different e-mail addresses) have been out there trying to earn her a solid check for an endorsement. And where was Lindsay’s “team” out looking? Duh: Facebook. (This is why.) Screw the insider sources, screw a carefully curated group of important industry connections; Lindsay is going old school.
Do I need to write anything more? Simply seeing that Lindsay Lohan was present in attendance should be all the evidence you need that the MTV European Music Awards were a very high-end event. The MTV EMAs were held last night in Spain, and it’s got to be a big, important night if it’s able to drag Lindsay Lohan away from her various Greek beach clubs. But of course Lindsay was there. You can’t think of the word Europe without thinking of Lindsay Lohan. That’s because she’s tried on pretty much every accent found in Europe at one time or another. As for her dress, she looks like a Eurodisco groupie named Svetlana who can’t stay long, because she’s got to pick up her pet serval from DJ Lazer Anus (they share custody).