Category: Lindsay Lohan

Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Reciting Her Favorite Lines From “Mean Girls”

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Mean Girls came out 13 years ago, and we’ve all kind of moved on. But thankfully it exists, if only to remind us of a better time before Lindsay Lohan’s career rolled down a trash-covered hill and got stuck in a damp puddle at the bottom. Lindsay really wants a Mean Girls sequel. But until that happens, she’s going to star in an all-female film from Saudi Arabia. And according to a new interview with W Magazine, apparently she was telling the truth last month when she said she was planning to launch her own beauty brand.

To accompany her W Magazine shoot, Lindsay re-created her 8 favorite Mean Girls quotes, but we’re playing pretty fast and loose with the term “re-creates” here. If she was really re-creating her favorite 8 lines, she wouldn’t have shaded Sears and she would have had 8 costume changes, pulled several multicolored LV bags from the archives, and thrown on a variety of wigs.

I’m glad they specified that Lindsay was re-creating her favorite lines from Mean Girls and not her favorite lines overheard during the filming of Mean Girls, otherwise that would be a very different list. Probably much shorter too. Just one line really. “Guys, we’re picking up some feedback on the mics. Sounds like snoring. Lindsay, is your mom sleeping off a hangover in your trailer again?

Pic: YouTube

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Lindsay Lohan Has Returned To Her Original Accent To Give Us An Update On Her Life

January 12, 2018 / Posted by:

At least temporarily while she’s in the United States talking to other Americans.

I’m sure the busted Euro-purr Lindsay Lohan puts on when she’s out of the country will return the second her plane crosses the 30th meridian west. “Hello, flight attendant? May I bother you for some (crosses line) of zee…how you say, wah-toor? Wahtoor wiss…uh…how you say, slice of ze lemon?

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Lindsay Lohan Is A Valerie Cherish Stan And Wants To Help Bring Back “The Comeback”

January 6, 2018 / Posted by:

A friend of mine once dumped a girl he was dating for not ever having taken the time to see a Star Wars flick. This seemed ridic to me until recently. One of my gay friends quoted a line from a show (“I don’t want to see that!“) and the look on my face (think Trump when you try to explain global warming) clued him in that I had never seen said show.

Exasperated friend: You’ve never seen The Comeback? Aunt Sassy?

Me: No, I just…

Exasperated friend: Valerie Cherish? You know, Lisa Kudrow from Friends?

Me: I’ve seen bits of it here and there but…

Exasperated friend: How can you call yourself a gay TV junkie and never seen The Comeback?

It was then I realized there are people out there who will cut you for not having seen their favorites. You would think I hadn’t vaccinated my child. And I’ve never referred to myself as a “gay TV junkie,” thank you. Anyway, apparently The Comeback is the cult classic that I should see before I die. And Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in Season 3. Well, it’s not like she has any other plans now that the holidays are over. Continue reading

Lindsay Lohan Will Investigate The Case Of Her Unpaid Taxes

December 26, 2017 / Posted by:

The Blast reports that Lindsay Lohan is in arrears with the United States IRS to the tune of $100,000 for unpaid taxes. Lindsay claims the failure to pay was not her fault, but instead, is the fault of her management company. And Lindsay is launching an investigation into the firm to find out what had happened. I have a feeling that Detective La Toya Jackson might close up shop and permanently remove her plaque that reads Celebrity Shenanigans Solved by La Toya ™ after she hears a desperate pounding on the door from a certain chapped, sun-damaged and desperate dehydrated apricot screaming “Help me, La Toya! You’re my only hope!“.

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Paris Hilton Dissed Lindsay Lohan In An Interview About “Unholy Trinity” Picture

December 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Paris Hilton is supposed to be some kind of grown ass woman these days but it seems like she’s having a hard time letting go of the past. She disappeared for awhile and was blissfully absent from the public eye for several years only to reemerge when the she noticed that the atmosphere was hospitable for petty, egomaniacal, wispy haired people with namesake hotels, a penchant for revisionist history, manipulating the media and gaslighting their enemies. And so, much like a herpes flareup, Paris is back and it’s embarrassing.

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