Open Post: Hosted By Lil’ Kim Pulling A Mariah When Asked About Nicki Minaj

Mariah Carey may have decent royalty checks from all ‘dem hits. But she really missed her pot of gold by not hopping in a cab to the trademark office to file a patent for “I don’t know her” immediately after pretending she had no damn clue what a Jennifer Lopez was. If there’s a go-to for celebrity shade, it’s pretending like you know some A-lister about as well as you do someone in suburban Boise who has downloaded all your albums eighteen times on Limewire. Andy Cohen and Martha Stewart have employed the IDKH method, and now Lil’ Kim is revving up her Nicki Minaj feud by pretending to have no idea who the voice behind “Anaconda” is. Hiss hiss, you sneaky snake!

Entertainment Tonight’s Katie Krause caught up with Lil’ Kim on Wednesday night at an event, and asked Kim what she thought of the new crop of female rappers like Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. Kim begins to gush about Cardi, but not before she quickly slid in an “…and I don’t know the other one.”

Oooh, that could have almost been a respectable read to singe everyone’s eyebrows off had it not come while Kim was waiting to get into the launch of Paris Hilton’s new line of whatever. Anyway, I’m beginning to think that “I don’t know her” bit is getting a tad stale for my liking. Call me when one of these chicks has the balls to say, “I do know her, and she’s as enjoyable as a hemorrhoid!”

Pic: Wenn.com/FayesVision

Lil’ Kim Has Filed For Bankruptcy, Owes $4 Million To Creditors 

Well, now we know why she was being investigated for robbery. Applause goes to Kimberly Denise Jones for deftly showing up that tired Tori Spelling and her tired amount of unpaid taxes. Representing the East Coast in the war between celebrity tax dodgers, pioneering rap icon Lil’ Kim has applied for bankruptcy, according to The Blast. I think we all know what where her cash went. It went to finance her ongoing performance art piece – “The Many Catlike Countenances Of Lil’ Kim.” Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Beyonce As Lil’ Kim

Majestrix of the multiverse and future Nala Beyonce did hip-hop legend and recent robbery suspect Lil’ Kim a solid by dressing up as her on Halloween. She posted shots of her costumes on Instagram and on her own website with the caption: “Hip Hop would not be the same without our original Queen B.” Beyonce’s got 107 million followers on IG, which means there’s probably going to be a renewed interest in the Queen Bee! A whole new generation will learn about Kim’s ability to make “a Sprite can“ disappear in her mouth! By the way, that move’s not for amateurs. They had to call the paramedics. I don’t want to talk about it.

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Lil’ Kim Is Being Investigated For An Alleged Robbery

Y’all, I’ll be so happy when The BET Awards have finally aired and fucked off for another year, because they’ve been causing problems all damn weekend. First, on Friday, a fight broke out between two of Nicki Minaj’s former cutty buddies. And now the prototype for Nicki’s entire career, feline impersonator Lil’ Kim, wants us all to remember that she, too, can act a fool at times.

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Remy Ma Is Still Scratching At Nicki Minaj (UPDATE)

Over the weekend, we learned that Nicki Minaj had probably locked herself in a walk-in freezer to treat the BURN she was given by rapper and Love & Hip Hop: New York star Remy Ma. It all started after Remy felt that she was done dirty by Nicki in a verse from the song Make Love. Remy fired back with ShETHER, a 7 minute diss track. Nicki responded a couple times on Instagram, the gist of which was mostly just Nicki bragging about how her friends are more famous and how Remy Ma’s record sales are bad. They’re not done hissing at each other and now Lil’ Kim is involved.

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Open Post: Hosted By Lil’ Kim Filling The Streets Of Paris With Pint-Sized Boudoir Glamour

Step aside, Duchess from The Aristocats – there’s an even-more refined, elegant feline creature in Paris. Lil’ Kim is in Paris for Paris Fashion Week, and yesterday she graced a Ralph & Russo fashion show with her presence. Normally it’s custom to wear the designer to the show, and Ralph & Russo designs a lot of ballgowns. But since it’s summertime, a ballgown would just be impractical. Nobody wants to see Lil’ Kim sweating her tiny ass off in 10 yards of satin. So instead she showed up wearing what a classy bitch would wear after they slipped out of their ballgown and retired to the boudoir.

Petite Kim appears to be wearing a very fancy, very glamorous pale pink robe tied casually around a tit-flattening floral bodysuit, which she has smartly paired with some pantyhose and studded ho heels. I’m willing to forgive Lil Kim for her recent transgressions if only because I really love what she chose to wear to a fashion show. She looks like the stripper-turned-mistress of a wealthy 93-year-old who took a break from catnapping on a velvet settee to descend a grand staircase and inform his grown children waiting at the bottom that she’s recently been written into the will.

People says she performed after the show for 300 VIP guests in 200 carats worth of gems from Chopard. Only 200? Excuse you, Chopard, but this is the Queen Bee we’re talking about. She should have been draped in gems from the top of her weave down to the shadow toes of her pantyhose.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com