Category: Leonado Dicaprio
Oprah Winfrey Is Donating $10 Million Towards Coronavirus Relief
With Tom Hanks’ return to the United States, the three cornerstones of the Illuminati pentagram can once again join forces to summon the devil as soon as Oprah Winfrey can get Jay-Z to pick up the phone (don’t worry, they don’t have to worrying about staying 6-feet away from each other so they don’t catch coronavirus because they invented coronavirus). Perhaps as a smoke screen to hide their true purpose, Oprah has decided to donate $10 million dollars to various coronavirus relief efforts, $1 million of which has already been donated to America’s Food Fund, a newly formed organization co-founded by Leonardo DiCaprio and Laurene Powell Jobs (Steve’s widow). So now, can we let her get back to sucking the brains out of babies’ ears in peace? Your move, Jeff Bezos (oh wait, he just announced he’s dating $100 million to Feeding America).
Make It Stop: “Growing Pains” May Be Next To Get A Reboot
Despite the fact that Alan Thicke is dead, fan-favorite Boner is dead, and Kirk Cameron is also dead (to me), Us Weekly is reporting that a reboot of Growing Pains, which ran for 7(!) seasons from 1985-1992, is in the works. Yes, technically Leonardo Di Caprio is still alive, but the chances of him reprising his role as a homeless pre-teen are slim. From the sounds of things, the GP reboot is still in the early stages and so far, only Mike Seaver (Kirk whose real life sister Candace is on Fuller House), sister Carole (Tracey Gold whose real life sister Missy was on Benson), and kid brother Ben (Jeremy Miller, a part-time caterer) have managed to clear their extremely busy schedules. And you can’t have a GP reboot without mom Maggie Seaver! And Judith Light lite actress Joanna Kerns has yet to sign on.
Leonardo DiCaprio And Brad Pitt Both Got Starstruck By Luke Perry
Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt are in full-blown press-tour mode for Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which is why they got a cover story courtesy of Esquire. As you can see, this is a super retro special issue. Everything is retro: the clothes, the car, all the way down to Brad and Leo’s squinty “the sun’s too bright” faces. Nothing says throwback to the ’60s more than looking like you’ve chosen to stare directly into a solar eclipse without proper eye protection. But enough about that, we’re here to talk about the real star of the OUATIH set, who – in Brad and Leo’s squinty eyes – was the late great Luke Perry.
Foot Alert! There ARE Dirty Feet In The New “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood” Trailer
Foot fetishists rejoice (podophobiacs recoil)! Unlike in the previous trailer, Foot Fucker In Chief Quentin Tarantino paid lipservice to your kink and shoehorned a pair of plump N’ grubby Flintstone feet into the new full length trailer for Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. And everybody, footsuckers included, can breathe a sigh of relief because the feet in question don’t belong to Lena Dunham. As far as we know, the only naked Dunham moment in this production was the time she lifted her skirt and gave William Bradley Pitt the scare of his life. And as we know, Brad don’t scare easy.
Here’s Who’s Making The Most Bank In 2019
Variety has published a list of the top earning celebrities for 2019 and Martin Lawrence is sitting pretty at the big boys’ (and girls, and Tommy Girl’s) table. And no, I’m not talking about that Martin Lawrence, I’m talking about original recipe Martin Lawrence. Thanks to his Bad Boys For Life co-star Will Smith, Martin Fitzgerald Lawrence out-earned Academy Award nominees Jessica Chastain and Joaquin Phoenix. The three-time Kid’s Choice nominee was paid $6 million for reprising his role in the Bad Boys 3-sequel. I guess that creepy genie really can make wishes come true!
There Are No Naked Feet In The First Trailer For “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood”
The first trailer for Quentin Tarantino’s 9th movie, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (alternate title based on the picture above: Leo Smells A Fart), has arrived. The good news is that it looks like QT may have taken our notes and decided not to use the N-word in every other sentence in this one. I guess the only way for him to avoid that was to not write any black characters (as far as I could tell from looking at IMDB) at which to hurl it. I guess Samuel L. Jackson has finally had enough now that he’s stacking up all those shiny Marvel coins.