As of tomorrow, the world will have one less platform on which to receive the blessed teachings of Lena Dunham. Digiday reports that Lena’s newsletter cum blogsite, Lenny Letter, will be going off into 404 Page Not Found heaven after today. But rest assured, those thirsting for more Lena than is reasonable, will always have Instagram.
I figured the first rule of Taylor Swift friendship was you don’t talk about Taylor Swift friendship, but Lena Dunham doesn’t play by rules. When she was on Andy Cohen’s shit-stirring show known as Watch What Happens Live, she was asked to play “Plead The Fifth” with fellow guest Maggie Gyllenhaal. While her answer for who was the most misogynistic in Hollywood (Daniel Tosh for body shaming her), even I let out an anxious squeak when Andy asked Lena to say who was her least-favorite Taylor ex…while she sat next to the sister of one of Taylor’s exes!
Anyone who was looking forward to rushing out on opening night to watch Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio in vintage Sears catalogue models realness in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood just realized that everything good comes at a price. And this price of admission now includes Lena Dunham. You wish on a haunted monkey’s paw for Brad Pitt to look hot again, and this is what you get.
The Hollywood Reporter has some new casting news regarding Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming Manson Family film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Lena has been cast in an unknown role, and this will be her fist big studio appearance on film (she’s been in movies before, but mostly indies). It will also be her first onscreen role since her show Girls ended in 2017.
Also added to the cast list along side Brad, Leo, Al Pacino, Dakota Fanning, Damian Lewis, James Marsden, Luke Perry, and Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate is Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman’s daughter Maya Hawke (huh, I wonder how she landed that gig). Also former wife of Eli Roth, Lorenza Izzo, and Vanessa Hudgens’ boyfriend Austin Butler.
The movie is still a bit of a secret, so we don’t really know who is playing what, besides Brad, Leo, and Margot. But my guess is Lena might play the only Manson Family member who is specifically asked to leave for talking too damn much and having less of a filter than Charlie.
I’ll just go on ahead and tell you, Lena Dunham’s uterus was named Judy. Judy used to room in Lena’s womb. Hell, Judy WAS Lena’s womb. That is until Judy was evicted back in November for throwing all kinds of parties up in Lena’s insides and generally making a huge mess of things. It’s now been 9 months since the cop docs (that’s doctors dressed up like cops, or, cops dressed up like doctors. Picture your preference) had to drag Judy, kicking and screaming, out of the house. I’ll just go on ahead and tell you, Lena celebrated the anniversary of Judy’s demise (can you even call it an anniversary if you are counting in months?) by posing naked on Instagram. As one does. Oh, and she got a tattoo on her ribs that reads “RIP Judy”. As one does.
Good news for any of y’all looking to name your kid Carrot: you won’t have to worry about sharing that with Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff! Lena, who hasn’t been in a relationship with Jack for eight months, felt the need to tweet at Jack a list of the names they considered for a potential child. Oh, child…DMs exist for a reason!
Lena Dunham, is here to give you a message on one of her favorite topics. No it’s not animal and pet care, she’s been laying low on that front for a while. And no, it’s not feminism, she’s been kind of steering clear of that lately too after calling a rape-victim a liar. Lena is here to talk about one of the very few topics of hers she hasn’t completely made herself look hypocritical on. Body positivity!