On Wednesday night, Lena Dunham showed up at the launch of Tracy Anderson’s flagship studio in NYC looking a little lean-a (oh lord, show me the door for that one). She explained to People that working with Tracy is the reason for why she no longer looks as much like she did at the Girls premiere in 2014. She claims it wasn’t about changing her body. It was more about getting healthy and easing the symptoms of endometriosis.
Goopy Paltrow has been bumping her freshly steamed organiqué oystéré against Glee and American Horror Story co-creator, Brad Falchuk, since August 2014 and she’s apparently ready to make him her second husband. The inside of Brad’s body must look like a scene out of AHS right now. The thought of being legally tied to Goopy is probably making Brad’s bowels scream because they know she’ll make him do a raw goat milk cleanse every year. And Brad’s ass walls are probably shivering with fear over thinking about how Goopy is going to make him shoot mugwort steam up in there before getting an activated charcoal and cactus water enema.
Last week’s episode of Girls ended with (semi-spoiler alert?) Rihanna’s Desperado, which told me that Lena Dunham must be a big fan on Rihanna’s. As it turns out, I grossly underestimated just how much of a RiRi stan she is. Lena Dunham posted a picture on Instagram of her latest tattoo. It’s no accident that Lena’s new tattoo might be giving you a flashback to Rihanna at the Grammys. Lena admits that she totally copied Rihanna’s homework on this one. Rihanna, just a heads up: maybe don’t post any personal ads looking for a roommate any time soon.
“Thank you @trinegrimm for my warrior’s chest plate/tit chandelier. This is my first original piece by a female tattoo artist and it felt sacred and cool and she didn’t chide me for copying @badgalriri’s placement.”
Lena Dunham is now one step closer to officially being ex-communicated from Taylor Swift’s friend squad. It specifically states in the squad charter that no member shall pledge their allegiance in any way, shape, or form to a popular female singer not named Taylor Swift.
Lena’s tattoo is an homage to Rihanna in more than just where it was placed. The top part of that tattoo kind of looks like a women’s college bathroom stall Sharpie drawing of a cooch. Which, in turn, makes the whole tattoo feel like a chandelier that might hang in the foyer of a fancy French strip club called Château du Vagin. I’d say Rihanna would approve. Although I think she would have approved more if Lena had gotten a portrait of Rihanna riding one of Lena’s nipples. Oh well, next time.
During the presidential election, nearly every pop trick in the land risked losing a piece of their fanbase by opening their mouth to either speak against Donald Trump or support Hillary Clinton, or both. Katy Perry did. Lady Gaga did. Madonna did. Beyonce did. Adele, who’s not even American, did. And so did the Queen of Pop Paula Abdul. But Taylor Swift never did and it DIVIDED A NATION! Many think pieces were written about how Tay Tay needed to say something, especially since she’s made feminism part of her “brand.” Others felt like it’s not her duty to talk about political shit. Lena Dunham, who talked a lot during the election and afterward, is on the side that is defending Taylor, Plain and Tall.
Lena Dunham has said 9.6 billion times that she’s proud of her body and doesn’t care what people think of it. What she does care about is when someone tries to mess with a picture of her body in post-production. Lena has slapped at magazines in the past when she thinks they’ve pulled a cut-and-paste fast one on her body. This time she’s clapping long and loud for Glamour magazine for choosing to not Photoshop out her cellulite.
Glamour’s annual Women of the Year award happened last night in Hollywood and the dress code must’ve been: MESS! Because most of them were.
Gwen Stefani (in the gallery) looked like an off-brand quinceañera Barbie and Zendaya (also in the gallery) wore some floral glove things that made it look like she just double fisted a flower fairy. And then there was Amber Heard whose dress looks like it was made out of the dusty curtains, crib skirt and pillow trim from an old-timey rich baby girl’s nursery. That dress is what Miss Havisham would wear if she was finally evicted from Satis House and had to make coins by selling ass at a brothel.
Amber hasn’t worked many red carpets ever since she settled her divorce from the angry scarf rack, so maybe she purposefully wore something busted. That way reporters wouldn’t ask her about Johnny Depp, because they’d be too busy wondering who and what the hell she’s wearing. Well played!
And here’s a zillion more pictures from last night including Lena Dunham who worked baby bangs and a constipated face.