If you live near Da Real Lambo, then that click-click-click you hear is him typing an addition of a chapter to his tell-all titled: “Going to LA to be closer to his side-piece Beyoncé’s second home???” But if you live anywhere near LeBron James, then I’m sure all you can hear is joyful screaming. It was announced last night that LeBron James is leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Los Angeles Lakers in exchange for $153.3 million.
A plague of bees is coming, and they may be coming for LeBron James. There’s a man threatening to expose Lebron and Beyoncé as secret lovers. LeBron seems to stay relatively drama free off the court. Well, maybe relatively isn’t the right word to use. His closest relative, mom Gloria James, brings the drama like Steph Curry brings the dribbles? You guys know I’m sports deficient. There was a whole ass parade here in my hometown for The Warriors and I only knew because NPR told me that’s why traffic was jacked up.
LeBron James must have a crap ton of basketball money burning a hole in his shorts (if you’ve ever wondered why the NBA switched out the tiny coochie cutters for the roomier mesh, now you know). One place he’s decided to stash some cash is in his production company SpringHill Entertainment which The Hollywood Reporter says is producing a remake of the 1990 classic House Party. To answer your first question; no word as to whether LeBron will be dusting off Kid N’ Play for this project. To answer your second question; nobody knows why.
Anyone who has ever been to a sports game of some kind knows that some people take sports very seriously. Rihanna loves basketball, and she loves sitting courtside and gets into it. She also really doesn’t like it when a team beats her boo LeBron James. That created the perfect storm last night during Game 1 of the NBA Finals last night.
Halloween is officially over for another year, and what better way to say goodbye to the unofficial holiday of questionable fuckery than with this video of LeBron James belting out “Purple Rain” in Prince drag. I literally have no idea what the context of this is. Obviously the best guess is that it’s from an NBA Halloween party. But why is he singing? You know what, I don’t need to know why. This is one of those “It’s better not to know how the sausage is made” situations. Sure, LeBron’s version of Prince looks like what you’d get if The Kid fell into the gene-splicing machine from The Fly while clutching a jar of creatine powder, but who cares? Buff Prince singing “Purple Rain” is feeling it, and I can appreciate that.
In the event “Purple Rain” doesn’t do it for you, there’s also a video floating around of LeBron singing “When Doves Cry“. Now if only there was a video of LeBron dressed as Prince challenging Prince dressed as Charlie Murphy to a basketball game (crosses fingers).
Video: Kevin Love