There were some real upside down and sideways looks on display at the The Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in NYC last night. Most notably Whoopi Goldberg giving us Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep and was forced to go to the big city and take out a bank loan for more, wearing her best Big Business suit. The added bonus of that suit is that those giant bell bottoms probably ring so damn loud, the sheep should have no problem finding their way back home.
Other notable looks included: Cate Blanchett‘s tuxedo/ baked potato/ butcher’s apron combo, and the night’s host Issa Rae’s belt that read “Every Nigga Is A Star”. All of those looks and more are in the gallery but for now, we’ve got plenty of high fashion to keep us in “what is going on here”s for a week.
Obnoxious TV chanteuse Lea Michele, she’s the irritating one (one, you ask?) from Glee, got engaged. The actress/songstress announced her engagement on Instagram (via People) with a pic of her finger and the sparkling and tasteful Fortress of Solitude now located upon it.
The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.
Zandy. Sigh. Now all I can think of is what a People magazine cover would have looked like if Zsa Zsa Gabor and Andy Griffith had the real-life Green Acres love affair America never knew it needed. ANYWHO.
Despite moving him into her home and thinking that her Eliza Doolittle plot was working, Lea’s ex-boo and ex-gigolo (not to Lea…that we know of!) Matthew Paetz dumped her back in 2016, and it seems like she’s finally ready to take the Barbra Streisand vinyl off the player and join the world in hope of a good deep dicking.
Jessica Lange’s red carpet tiremarks and the clothing exec were spotted holding hands in New York. That obviously means they are dating. Or Lea just needed help standing up after being told she didn’t have to tip Zandy after they parted ways. Here they are together.
Lea Michele and Zandy Reich spotted in New York yesterday pic.twitter.com/YfXEsgz1m9
— Glee Memories (@MrDavidMichele) July 19, 2017
Lea previously dated the late Corey Monteith, Lipstick Jungle alum and courtside panty pleaser Robert Buckley, and of course, Matthew, whom Us Weekly refers to as a model, and I’ll refer to as “For a good time, call.”
Halsey is one of the music industry’s most frequent red carpet messes, so it’s not a surprise that she would show up to the Billboard Music Awards last night in an outfit that says: “Book my stylist the next appointment at the nearest Pearle Vision.”
That bra is all kinds of tragic. It’s both too big and too small, like some kind of physics-defying underwire nightmare. If that bra could talk, it would beg Halsey to leave it at home and take a set of nipple pasties instead. On the upside, it is nice to see that someone finally purchased the most discounted bra from the clearance section of Ross. But don’t cry for Halsey’s bra. I see a bright future for it. I bet an agent has already signed it to appear as the uncomfortable before bra in an Ahh Bra infomercial.
I was going to title this post “Open Post: Hosted By The Big Lots Clearance Section Barbra Streisand Getting Naked On Instagram,” but I didn’t want to be responsible for the cold disappointment that would cover your genitals after reading the words “Barbra Streisand” and “naked” and not seeing a naked Babs anywhere in this post. I couldn’t do that to your fuck parts.
Lea Michele decided to rack up a thousand Instagram THOT points yesterday by sharing her nakedness with her 4.2 million followers. My thoughts and prayers are with the woodland creatures whose delicate ears were fucked raw by the high-pitch sound of Lea screeching at whoever took this picture while directing them. But on a positive note, I am impressed at Lea Michele’s strength and ability to hold her head up while she’s obviously suffering from severe dehydration and is thirstier than James Franco in 127 Hours.
And that picture is incomplete without Jessica Lange sashaying by while mistaking Lea Michele for background: