Category: Lawyer Up

Steven Spielberg Is A Menace To Puns And Fast Food Burgers

March 28, 2018 / Posted by:

Even if Steven Spielberg is a gazillionaire movie director, you best not try to capitalize off his name in punny tomfoolery, or he will come for you with a social media cease and desist! There’s nothing that gets me going like some wordplay, which is probably why I weighed 900 pounds as a kid from eating so many Cheesecake Factory “glamburgers.” Alas, Steven isn’t here for that, so he’s put the kibosh on a Carl’s Jr. burger that was to be named in his honor. Continue reading

Taylor Swift Has Pissed Off The ACLU For Trying To Silence A Critic

November 7, 2017 / Posted by:

The only person who likes Taylor Swift more than Taylor Swift is her lawyers; girl provides them with a lot of work. Taylor put her lawyers to work recently on a writer who wrote some things Taylor didn’t like regarding her popularity in the white supremacy community. Thanks to a little thing called free speech, that fight isn’t going so well for Taylor.

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Harvey Weinstein Is Preparing His Lawyers For A New York Times Exposé

October 5, 2017 / Posted by:

When you hear the name Harvey Weinstein, you might think, “Oh yeah, that guy who gets thanked a bunch in Oscar acceptance speeches.” Or, if you do a lot of gossip reading, you might think, “Oh yeah, that not-so-secret creep who can’t keep his hands to himself when he sees a pretty young model or actress.

It might not be much of a secret anymore. According to Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, The New York Times and The New Yorker are planning to release tell-all exposés about Harvey Weinstein, complete with some women who went on the record regarding his alleged grossness. Not surprisingly, Harvey has lawyered up.

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Usher Herpes-Gate Accuser: I Don’t Have It, But I COULD Have!

August 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Usher’s been swamped with bad press lately, and, for once, it’s not because he’s responsible for making Justin Bieber a thing. Gloria Allred is crying tears of joy, because her baby girl Lisa Bloom is corralling a group of plaintiffs in a good ol’ fashioned sex scandal.

Usher apparently wasn’t forthcoming with his love in ‘dis club, because a few former players in games of Usher-slap-‘n-tickle say his wiener wasn’t exactly pure. In fact, back in 2012, his knob was squirting green juice, and, no, it wasn’t Mountain Dew. It was supposedly herpes and I don’t think herpes causes peens to squirt green juice. Or so I’ve heard.

As herpes does, that shit came back, and now people are lawyering up (and, yes, I picked this photo, because I pored over that looking for lingering signs of the nasty shit). Continue reading

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Real Housewives Fishy Cooch-Gate Battle Put Out To Sea

August 2, 2017 / Posted by:

One of these days, the estate of Harper Lee will announce she left behind the real sequel to To Kill A Mockingbird called To Cover Thy Nose, and it will be all about the legal battle over Brandi Glanville saying Joanna Krupa had a stank puss. Unfortunately, Harper never lived to see the resolution, as TMZ reports Joanna and Brandi reached a settlement. So the confused-looking Real Housewives of Miami star withdrew her defamation suit against that hot mess of Beverly Hills.

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George And Amal Clooney Threaten To Sue A French Tabloid For Publishing Pics Of Their Twins

July 28, 2017 / Posted by:

George and Amal Clooney’s twin babies, Ella and Alexander, are just shy of two months old. And until this morning, no one outside of George, Amal, family, friends, and their part-time nannies have seen what Ella and Alexander look like. I could imagine what they looked like: small unbreaded chicken nuggets, maybe. Then a French tabloid called Voici went ahead and solved the mystery by publishing the first blurry shots of the Clooney babies on the cover of their latest issue. George and Amal are extremely pissed about that.

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