From rape, rape, rape to jokes about concentration camps – the news has felt like a walk through Willy Wonka’s factory this week. A walk that took place after Augustus Gloop tainted the chocolate river and the smoke from Veruca Salt in the incinerator fouled up the building. Larry David hosted Saturday night Live last night and cracked wise about hitting on women in concentration camps. Do they remove a portion of these older Hollywood guys’ frontal lobes when they reach a certain age? Continue reading
Larry David is on an upcoming episode of PBS’s Find Your Roots. Unlike the episodes where someone finds out the reason they’re such a royal bitch in the morning is because they’re related to Jack the Ripper, Larry finds out the reason he was such a shoe-in to mock Bernie Sanders on Saturday Night Live is because he’s really related to the Vermont Senator. This is yuuuuuuuuuge.
Larry spoke (via Variety) at a Television Critics Association press tour Wednesday about his Bernie assimilation, and said the whole impression was sparked after the first Democratic primary debate:
Ari Emanuel called me up and said, ‘What did you think?’ And every time I watched Bernie Sanders, I would repeat everything that he said, because I know that I can talk like that. So I started talking to Ari, the agent, I started talking to him like Bernie.
Ari sounds like he thinks of himself as Justin Bieber’s mother circa the MySpace years, rather than an actual agent, as he told Larry to just post videos to YouTube doing his best Bernie. Luckily, Larry thought that was stupid and said he would do SNL or nothing. While Larry didn’t give specifics on exactly how he and Bernie are related, the Bostonian in me thinks it’s probably Southie cousins. A Southie cousin is when your cat knows someone else’s cat down the street and they don’t kill each other. You do the same with the owner out of respect. Southie cousins! Meow! Larry actually said they’re “third cousins or something.” See? Southie cousins!!
Because I don’t love myself (and also because I misplaced my memory stick containing all 8 episodes of Anchorwoman), I watched Presidential hopeful Donald Trump host Saturday Night Live last night. And I’m sure if you also made the mistake of watching, there’s a 100% chance you’re yelling “Oh my god, that goddamn laser harp sketch” at your screen right now. Because yeah, that goddamn laser harp sketch. I still can’t with that laser harp sketch. I swear to god, about 3 seconds into that laser harp sketch, I started praying that one of those lasers would magically shoot into my brain and wipe away the memory of watching Donald Trump try to act.
To be honest, I was expecting more of a shit-show than what we actually got. Sadly, what we actually got was 12 minutes of Donald Trump squinting at the cue-cards like a near-sighted rotten circus peanut that pretty much everyone hated. We also got Larry David (who came back to do Bernie Sanders better than the real Bernie Sanders does Bernie Sanders) calling Donald Trump a “racist“ from the audience, but because Lorne Michaels is trolling at an expert level (see: having Donald Trump host), there’s a 99.99999999% chance that was a staged bit. But other than that, my brain was hating me every moment I didn’t reach for the remote and search for a rerun of Pick A Puppy.
But in the event you’re not totally over Hotline Bling parodies, then I have some good news: they did parody Drake’s dad-dancing in the Hotline Bling video.
Yes, that was Martin Short as Ed Grimley making an appearance at the 1:13 mark, which honestly was just about the most infuriating part of the whole night. You mean to tell me they had life legend Martin Short there the whole time, and they went with Donald Trump??? If they were really that hard up for a smarmy dude with weird-looking fluffy white hair to host the show, I’m sure Martin Short would have gladly pulled his old Jackie Rogers Jr. wig out of storage and stuck around.
Here’s more of Donald Trump (you’re like “Yeah, nobody asked for more Donald Trump“) leaving the SNL afterparty last night, as well as musical guest Sia, Larry David, Bill O’Reilly, and Donald’s “third wife” (copyright: Ivana Trump) Melania.
Pics: NBC, Splash
Tracy Morgan returned to SNL last night, and he seemed pretty well recovered from his horrific bus accident back in June of 2014. Once you hear that someone sustained brain damage, you automatically cringe and think they’re screwed for life. He seems like he’s doing ok. Morgan joked that he thinks he actually might have gained a few IQ points since the crash.
Welcome back, Tracy. Hopefully the accident knocked that intent to stab your son to death if he ever came out as gay out of your head. (Yes, the chip on my shoulder is massive. I’m working on it in therapy.)
The cast of 30 Rock united for the cold open (except for Lutz which was a damn shame):
And Tracy Morgan also resurrected Brian Fellow! (Note from Michael: That attention whoring camel really needs to be a regular cast member):
And here’s Tracy, his wife Megan Wollover,
Bernie Sanders Larry David, Jane Krakowski, two Jonai, Demi Lovato and Gigi Hadid outside of the after-party.
I’m going to need a GIF of Killlary (Kate McKinnon as Hillary Clinton) chucking that cigarette and making that face. Curb Your Enthusiasm’s beloved cranky guy Larry David answered the cries from Twitter Nation and beyond beseeching him to play presidential candidate Bernie Sanders on SNL. There’s a striking resemblance! It just fits! It fits perfectly.
Larry did everything but drop a mic the end. Even perennial SNL drop-in Alec Baldwin couldn’t upstage his longest-arms-in-existence ass. Mission accomplished, sir.
Oh, and fun fact! David was a writer for SNL in the 80s and only got one sketch on the air. Look how far he’s come since then! Don’t give up your dreams, kids. Or don’t go write for SNL cuz’ I heard it tends to be a soul-crushing gig. Ask Janeane Garofalo.
Watch Larry David as Bernie Sanders in the vid below.