Fiat Heir (And Giant Mess) Lapo Elkann Was Arrested For Allegedly Faking His Own Kidnapping

Lapo Elkann, the 39-year-old grandson of the ex-CEO of Fiat and my one-time favorite panty creamer, has once again found himself in a messy situation. If Dynasty was re-written by Bret Easton Ellis, Lapo would be a character.

The New York Post says that about 11 years ago, Lapo was found naked and near death after overdosing in the apartment of a transgender hooker in Turin, Italy. And over the weekend, Lapo allegedly partied with another transgender hooker, but this time things didn’t end with him almost kissing the Grim Reaper. It ended with Lapo owing the hooker thousands upon thousands of dollars. So Lapo did what anybody would do when they owe a hooker thousands upon thousands of dollars: he called his family and told them that he was kidnapped and his captor was demanding $10,000 in ransom money. Hmmmm… Unless you’re an evil genius, like that chick from Gone Girl, it’s probably not a good idea to fake your own kidnapping.

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Uma Thurman Is Not Happy About Lapo Elkann Kissing Her

The Daily Mail and a bunch of other sites posted a picture this morning of Fiat heir Lapo Elkann looking like he tried to suck Uma Thurman’s face off with his suction cup mouth at last night’s amfAR gala in Cannes. It looked like he was a Garfield suction cup decoration and her face was the car window. Uma served as host during the event’s auction and after Lapo won an item for $196,000, he celebrated by kissing her. After the picture made the rounds, Uma’s rep Leslie Sloane issued a statement saying that he never asked for permission and the uninvited kiss left her feeling violated and creeped out. Leslie is also trying to get a hold of video of the kiss that the amfAR people have. This is the statement that Leslie gave to People:

“It is opportunism at its worst. She wasn’t complicit in it. Somewhere in his head he must have thought it an appropriate way of behaving. It clearly wasn’t. It looks like she was happy to have it happen, but it was not consensual. She is very unhappy that this happened to her and feels violated.”

If you’ve been reading Dlisted for a while, then you’re probably crazy and please let your doctors at the mental hospital know that I am grateful they haven’t blocked the site from computers yet. But really, if you’ve been reading this site for a while, you probably know that I’ve drooled out gross words of praise about this greasy Italian coke booger before. May is the month I find out some gross shit about my favorite Panty Creamers. I found out that Adrien Brody is a CAP (Cosby/Allen/Polanski) apologist and today I find out that Lapo Elkann is creeping out women by putting his mouth on theirs without getting an RSVP first. What’s next? Prince Hot Ginge is going to tell reporters that the Holocaust and Nazis didn’t exist? Well, we know he’ll never say that.

Pic: Getty, Wenn.com