While that may look like a group of middle-aged dorks visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame star of their favorite actor, Adam Sandler, before going to party at 4pm at Dave & Buster’s, it’s actually middle-age-ish dorks getting their Hollywood Walk of Fame star today. If me Googling “How can I relieve my sciatica pain?” didn’t confirm to me that we all get old, this picture of *NSYNC did.
Like all of us, *NSYNC’s fans are getting old, but thousands of them still pulled their IcyHot-slathered limbs out of bed at the hour of the dead this morning to camp out in Hollywood to see Chris Kirkpatrick (looking like Guy Fieri’s #1 fan), Lance Bass (looking like a South Florida realtor), JC Chasez (looking like the country’s least popular Vincent Vega impersonator), Joey Fatone (looking extra DILF-ey, you can judge me for that), and Justin Timberlake (looking like a ~hip~ preacher of a new age church).
When it was confirmed that Justin Timberlake is headlining the 2018 Super Bowl halftime show at the U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota, many said that he should rise from the bowels of the stage flanked by his boys Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick, and Joey Fatone, followed by letting Janet Jackson rip part of his pants off. But even though Justin and Janet are allegedly good now, she wasn’t approached by him to join him on stage. As for NSYNC, Joey Fatone swore that there wasn’t going to be a reunion at the Super Bowl. As it turns out, Joey might have been fibbing, because every member of NSYNC have been spotted in Minnesota this week.
Former boy band impresario and convicted Ponzi schemer Lou Pearlman died in a Florida federal prison on Friday night. He was 62. Lou was the corpulent cousin of Art Garfunkel (!) who gave us the Backstreet Boys, N*SYNC, O-Town, LFO, and Aaron Carter.
The last time I wrote about NSYNC, a group dumb teenage me spent $55 to watch from behind a pole in the nosebleed section, Lance Bass was talking about how no one from NSYNC got an invitation to Justin Timberlake’s 2012 wedding. It was really upsetting news. How dare he do his four stage brothers like that?
It was JC Chasez’s 40th birthday yesterday, and he could have served up some pettiness by not inviting Justin Timberlake to his party, but he didn’t. Every member of NSYNC showed up to JC’s birthday party at The Nice Guy last night. They even posed for a group pic that Justin put on Instagram. At least I think that’s Justin; it could also be Martin Freeman in Jason Mraz drag.
The Nice Guy usually has a strict no photography policy, but they were obviously willing to make an exception for such an important reunion. Maybe Justin asked them to bend the rules because he was afraid that nobody would believe he hung out with the other members of NSYNC if he wasn’t getting paid to. That’s smart of him. Without seeing photographic proof that he was there, I would fully believe that Justin RSVP’d to JC’s party with a note that said: “Sorry, but I still think I’m too good for the rest of you NSUCKERS, so don’t count on it.”
Here’s a bunch of pictures of Justin, Jessica Biel, Chris, and Lance leaving JC’s party last night. When Joey Fatone left The Nice Guy, he grabbed a TMZ camera and pretended to be a pap. Then he “pretended” to ask them if they’re hiring and who he should contact with his resume.
I’m sorry, but in that hat and those pants, Justin Timberlake is in no position to be busting out such hardcore “embarrassed to be standing next to you” body language on Lance Bass. But back to what’s really important: the fact that Lance Bass apparently wasn’t invited to Justin Timberlake’s Italian wedding (ft. Jessica Biel) back in 2012. Okay, I could see not mailing an invitation to Joey Fatone, because that dude strikes me as the type of wedding guest to get drunk on red wine and try to have a three-way with Grandma Timberlake and the ice sculpture swan on the buffet table. But Lance Bass? I said it up top and I’ll say it again. Rude!
Lance admitted that he never got to RSVP to Justin’s $6.5 million marriage spectacular/poor-taste short film screening on a recent episode of Kancelled with Khloe (via Entertainment Tonight). Khloe Kardashian began by asking Lance if Justin Timberlake showed up to his 2014 wedding. The non-blond members of *NSYNC showed up (Joey, JC Chasez, and Chris Kirkpatrick), but no JT, because JT was on tour. Then Khloe asked point-blank if he was invited to JT’s wedding, and Lance gave us this awkward moment:
The “we” that Lance is referring to in his “we were not” is the rest of *NSYNC. Shortly after Justin’s wedding, Chris Kirkpatrick admitted to Orlando’s XL 106.7 that he wasn’t invited, and heard that the rest of the boy band wasn’t either because Justin didn’t want their reunion to yank the spotlight away from his bride. “If anyone is going to steal the spotlight from my bride, it’s gonna be me.“
Justin wasn’t exactly wrong. I don’t know about the rest of *NSYNC, but Lance Bass would definitely steal every last ounce of attention from Jessica Biel. All it would take is for Lance Bass to accidentally flash that dazzling incandescent light bulb smile of his as she begins walking down the aisle, and everyone would be like “Ugh, Jessica, go around!”
Here’s more of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea last night. I don’t know why Jessica is dressed like a goth Col. Sanders at the club, but I’m into it.
The old story about how Andy Cohen once pounded Lance Bass’ ass while Lance sang out, “It’s tearin’ up my butt when I’m with youuuuu,” was brought up again on Watch What Happens Live earlier this week. Sonja Morgan, the resident drunken boy toy collector of The Real Housewives of New York City, asked the crown prince of Bravo who is the most famous dude he’s ever done sex stuff with. Andy said “Lance Bass.” If Lance Bass is the most famous dude that Power Top Andy has done, then I’m guessing the other famous types he’s done are an extra from Vanderpump Rules and Right Shark from Katy Perry’s Super Bowl Half-Time Show. No, that’s not right. Right Shark is more famous than Lance Bass at this point. BUT WAIT!
The now married Lance has once again denied that Andy has had a piece of Bass ass. On Lance’s SiriusXM show Dirty Pop (via UsWeekly) yesterday, he didn’t dribble out any details, but he did say that Andy has never topped him.
“First of all, I’m not going to tell you what I do in the bedroom. Sex is a broad term…like ‘Andy banged Lance’ — when did he ever say that? This is an old story. Three years ago we told everyone we hooked up…Now it’s getting into who did who? I can just tell you right now, there was no Andy D going in my B. I’m not going to tell you what went down…but it’s not what people are thinking.”
Lance went on to explain that they had a little moment on vacation together. That’s all.
“It just happened that Andy was with me on this vacation. It was so nice and romantic and it was just a nice time. It was one of those things where I needed someone to hold onto. I just played it off like it was a kiss. Why would I go into details?”
Okay, we get it, Lance. You’re really masc and you’re so masc that you won’t let a d enter your b lips. Got it. It would be TMI, but it would be my kind of TMI, if Lance said that they sucked each other off and whatnot. But what’s not my kind of TMI is Lance basically saying that they talked about their feelings while holding each other as they watched the sunset. Keep that schmaltzy, lovey-dovey shit to yourself, Lance!