More than a year after Lamar Odom was found in a very sad situation in a Nevada brothel (a brothel that now reportedly needs an exorcist to rid the property of evil whore spirits), Lamar has checked into rehab.
Pour some FitTea on the ground in remembrance and wrap yourself in a sasquatch fur blanket for comfort and support, because Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom officially (OFFICIALLY!) filed for divorce in L.A. on Friday.
A beautiful love story has reached its bittersweet ending. I’m talking about Khloe Kardashian and all of the press she could wring from her Lamar Odom’s alleged drug problems. Koven kween Kris Jenner, perhaps feeling generous after successfully burning down Dennis Hof’s house with her mind (according to Dennis), must have given the OK for daughter Khloe and Lamar to sign off on their divorce. Hell, the show might not come back (yeah right) so why not take the opportunity to trim the cast a bit? Less supporting characters, the more money for her witchmaster general wardrobe.
TMZ reports that they came to an agreement on their mutual property and signed legal documents on Friday. All they have to do now is wait for the judge to sign on it (which will probably happen in December) and they’re free! Lamar is free to hopefully realize that he doesn’t have to mess around with the drugs and alcohol anymore to numb himself from the pain of being a Kardashian plot device. Khloe is free to find the next poor bastard to snare in the family’s tentacles (and snack upon the livestock of her choosing).
Khloe first filed for divorce in 2013 but took her time, because a “reality” show needs scripts and a troubled marriage can almost always provide those season finale ratings. She dropped the divorce last year when Lamar went belly-up from drugs in a whorehouse in Nevada. She later re-filed, which brings us here.
Hopefully Kris Humphries (remember him?) is around after this to help big brother Lamar and get him to join a “Tall Guy Survivors Of The Kardashian Koven” group.
This week marked the one-year anniversary of former Kardashian husband Lamar Odom’s overdose kontretemps at a Nevada whorehouse. As you know, former NBA player Lamar (probably having experienced an epiphany along the lines of “my wife only married me because her family are professional fame whores and they kollect famous penises of color like some people collect coins from the Franklin Mint),” mired himself in leased vagine and hard drugs and nearly died at the Love Ranch South in Pahrump, Nevada. Well, the owner of the Love Ranch, Dennis Hof, has discovered that the merest whiff of a Kardashian in your life (think burning pool innertubes and formaldehyde) brings ruin and devastation. His house in Reno burned down and he thinks the Kardashians kursed him!
Four months ago, TMZ reported that Lamar Odom was drinking again. His friends were concerned, and with good reason; less than a year ago, he had a major wake-up call in the form of almost dying at a Nevada brothel. However, sources claimed that Lamar wasn’t worried and was confident he could handle his drinking. Obviously Lamar was wrong, because TMZ says he was kicked off a flight yesterday for being a drunk mess.
It’s been almost 8 months since Lamar Odom was found unconscious with all kinds of drugs floating around in his system at a Nevada brothel. Since then, Khloe Kardashian’s estranged husband has walked a slow road to recovery that ended with a triumphant return to the fame whore koven at Kanye West’s fashion show/album launch in February. A month later, he was seen strolling into church with the Kardashians on Easter Sunday.
Then things started to roll back downhill a bit. It turned out that Lamar had spent the night before Easter Sunday at a bar getting his drink on. And now TMZ is saying that he could have gone back to crack. Multiple sources close to Lamar tell TMZ that Lamar has been acting weird recently, and not because he got second-hand woozy from all the toxic butt injection residue from the divorce papers Khloe sent him. They think he’s back to boozing and drugging. So a group of his friends decided to swing by his house and try to convince him to go to rehab. They allegedly found drug stuff, like roaches, baggies, and crack pipes. Yes, “pipes” – as in, more than one.
Lamar’s addiction is what killed his marriage the first time back in 2013.
As for that mini-intervention, TMZ’s sources say Lamar laughed it off and told them he doesn’t think he needs help. “Duh, I could have told you that” scoffed Khloe, who already tried to extend her “Khloe Saves Lamar” storyline by trying to get Lamar into rehab back in March. Lamar’s friends are legitimately worried; they say Lamar thinks he’s “invincible.” Lamar, no! That contract Kris Jenner made you sign in exchange for your soul only guarantees invincibility so long as you’re still a profitable character for them. It becomes null and void once they decide you’re no longer on-brand.
If this back on crack story is true and he won’t take the advice from his friends to go to rehab, then I at least hope Lamar is visited by the ghost of Whitney Houston’s 2002 interview with Diane Sawyer this evening. “Let’s get one thing straight, Lam Lam – crack is wack.”