Sherri Shepherd has finally scored a few points against her ex-husband Lamar Sally at his get-money game. Last month, Lamar went to a judge and asked for more child support money for Lamar Sally Jr., the 2-year-old surrogate-carried son that Sherri has tried repeatedly to legally wash her hands of. Lamar was getting $4,100 a month for Lamar Jr., but once he found out that Sherri might have gotten herself a higher-paying job, he decided he needed more. Lamar didn’t say how much more he needed, but it doesn’t matter, because he’s not going to get it.
There it is, the more obvious headline I’ve ever written, because of course Sherri Shepherd’s grifty ex-husband Lamar Sally wants more child support money. That’s like saying a dog wants to sniff more dog butts.
Welcome to 2016, Sherri Shepherd’s extremely-messy surrogate baby custody situation. The last time we checked in on Lamar Sally, Sherri Shepherd’s shameless ex-husband and father of the surrogate baby they had made while they were married, he was still cashing child support checks from Sherri to the tune of $4100 a month. The baby named Lamar Jr. was made with Lamar’s sperm but not with Sherri’s egg. Just in case you forgot, this was a baby Sherri didn’t want and tried really, really hard to walk away from. Basically, it was a goddamn mess. Apparently it’s going to keep being a mess, because a judge has ordered Sherri to keep those child support checks coming.
Page Six says that Sherri was in a Pennsylvania court earlier today to appeal a ruling that declared her the mother of Lamar Jr. Sadly for Sherri’s checking account, a judge took her appeal and dumped it in the trash. Apparently, the lower court ruling in Sherri and Lamar’s case is the first to declare surrogacy contracts binding in Pennsylvania. So unless she can find a dictionary that defines the word “binding” as “involving an obligation that cannot be broken unless you beg really really hard“, then she’s out of luck.
As for Sherri’s relationship with the child she’s spending $49,200 a year on, Lamar Sally’s lawyer says she has never seen him. I know the judge legally declared that Sherri is Lamar Jr.’s mommy, but technically it sounds more like a Tooth Fairy situation. I mean, she’s a lady who Lamar Jr. has never seen who magically makes money appear. Except she doesn’t get any teeth out of it. And she could probably use some new teeth, since I bet she grinds another layer off her own every time she writes one of those $4100 checks.
“And now for an impression of my greedy handout-seeking ex-husband.”
Sherri Shepherd is now officially divorced from her questionably-employed gold digger husband of almost three years Lamar Sally. Unfortunately, she’ll still be reminded of him every month for the next 18 years. TMZ says that Sherri and Lamar have settled their custody battle over the surrogate baby Sherri tried to walk away from. Sherri has agreed to pay $4,100 a month in child support for Lamar Sally Jr. until he turns 13, at which point Sherri has to start forking over $4,600 a month. In total, Sherri is looking at saying sayonara to about $920,000. That sound you just heard was Lamar Sally Sr. yelling “Ka-ching!” while pretending to pull the handle on an invisible slot machine.
But Lamar may not want to celebrate just yet. TMZ says there’s a legal loophole Sherri will try to shimmy her way through in order to avoid paying him. Remember when Sherri claimed Lamar was a “fraud” who only wanted that surrogate baby for the child support cash? She can pursue that fraud claim, and if a judge decides that Lamar was being a fraud, she won’t owe him a damn dollar.
Of course, because we’re talking about Sherri Shepherd and Lamar Sally, the drama doesn’t end there. Sherri and Lamar put some embryos in storage when they were still together, and Lamar might try to get them unfrozen. Technically, Sherri wouldn’t have to pay child support for those babies. “Technically? I’m always up for a challenge” thought Lamar Sally, before he called up Nick Loeb and asked to borrow some signs.
Shortly after it was announced that Sherri Shepherd was calling it quits with her questionably-employed husband of three years Lamar Sally, he ran to the press to tell them that she was also trying to wash her hands of an unborn surrogate baby. Sherri’s story was that the baby – which was made when Sherri and Lamar were still together – was only made so that sneaky gold-digging trick Lamar could get his hands on a stack of child support cash every month, and she was doing everything possible to scoot away from that mess.
Unfortunately for Sherri, it looks like Lamar’s maybe-shady plan worked, because TMZ says a Pennsylvania judge ruled earlier today that she is legally the mother of their surrogate baby, Lamar Sally Jr., who was born in Pennsylvania last August. Naturally, Lamar Sr. is thrilled with the judge’s decision, and thinks Sherri now owes him a public apology:
“I want her to go on television and apologize the same way that she went on there and accused me of being a gold digger and tricking her into having a baby.”
Go on television? He knows she’s not on TV anymore, right? Speaking of gold digging, Lamar is still going to have to wait a bit to see how much cash he’ll get from his ex-wife for his flawless money-making plan…I mean, baby. TMZ says all the child support stuff will be worked out in a court in Los Angeles at a later date.
The only thing that could have made this situation any better would be if the paternity results had been read out on Maury so we could see Lamar’s “You ARE the mother!” end-zone dance. No, really – it’s literally the only thing that could have made it better, because everything about this situation is the absolute worst.
The words “Reserved for Ms. Shepherd” were engraved on a plaque hanging on a door in the Special Place Ward in Hell when Sherri Shepherd wrote off the baby that grew in her surrogate’s womb. When Sherri and her husband Lamar Sally broke up last year, she labeled him a scheming gold digger and accused him of tricking her into the surrogacy situation as a way to get her to pay him child support. Sherri walked away from the unborn baby and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with the kid ever. The already disgustingly messy situation got messier when Lamar sued Sherri for spousal and child support. Now, the surrogate who carried Sherri and Lamar’s baby has spoken out and is pissed that she’s being hit up for child support. It says a lot when a situation is dangerously close to becoming as fucked up as the Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry situation.