Yesterday everyone was reminded of Jennifer Esposito and Bradley Cooper’s quick grits marriage from over a decade ago after she commented on a post by David Spade in reference to Bradley’s performance of Shallow with Lady Gaga at the Oscars. David said that they’re obviously fucking and Jennifer responded with HA. I guess that pissed some people off, and now Jennifer is answering back with an over 3 minute long response.
While watching the Oscars on Sunday night two things crossed my mind. 1) Lady Gaga looks orange as hell. 2) Bradley Cooper and Gaga are really selling the “are they or aren’t they fucking?” thing. It’s a publicity stunt, but everyone is talking about it. Including Bradley’s ex-wife Jennifer Esposito who has her own thoughts.
Look, we all knew Lady Gaga was going to be extra as hell last night. And praise Jeebus, she did not disappoint. From her emotionally overwrought yet ultimately trite acceptance speech for Best Original Song, to her bold choice to bring a Glidden paint swatch in Tangerine Dream to her stylist and say “match this”, Lady Gaga was doing the most, to say the least. So of course, when her BIG MOMENT came, and she and Bradley Cooper took to the stage to perform Shallow, she took the performance to the next level. I should say “they”, but I think we all know who was really “directing”. There were lingering stares, there were orgasmic undulations, and by the end, there was intimate canoodling which some people thought was TOO HOT FOR NETWORK TV AND DISRESPECTFUL TO BRADLEY’S GIRLFRIEND. Well, that’s what Mel B thought at least. Yes, that Mel B.
For the past twelve years, Madonna and her manager Guy Oseary have thrown an ULTRA EXCLUSIVO Oscars after-party at his mansion, and the guest list is supposedly tighter than her face and guests aren’t allowed to take pictures. Because you want to be able to snort a line off of your Oscar statue’s ass crack in peace without worrying about some trick taking a picture of it and tagging you on Instagram. Guests aren’t allowed to post pics from the party on their social media, but you better believe Madonna made sure that we all saw a pic of her arm around her one-time nemesis Lady Gaga, and no, she’s not choking that reductive bitch out. Not in the pic that was posted anyway.
My thoughts exactly, dude in the background who is obviously thinking, “Bitch, it’s just Original Song, DAMN, it’s not that serious!”
Lady Gaga will probably be hitting the red carpet at this Sunday’s upcoming Academy Awards minus one because her engagement to talent agent Christian Carino is over, though it may have been a done deal long before the official announcement was made yesterday by one of Gaga’s reps. However this entire relationship was frowned upon with side eyes and sighs because those closest to the ex-couple had a feeling that it wouldn’t last very long.