Lately, Jared Leto has been looking like the pure definition of a fashion victim, and at The Fashion Awards 2016 in London last night, he turned it all the way up. If Jared and his stylist were going for “Willy Wonka after getting a bootleg Beatles haircut and dye job and moving to The Valley to become a sleazy porn producer,” they nailed it hard. That Gucci’d out ensemble just screams, “I’m going to make you a STAH, baby, now let’s go back to my place to sign the contracts….” Trick looks like the orgy baby that every character in Boogie Nights made together.
Well, I guess if you’re going to look like Liberace as seen through the eyes of Terry Richardson, a fashion awards show is the place to do it. And Jared Leto, who is becoming a Fighting The Hot Grand Champion, must’ve gotten sick of hos throwing their coochies and assholes at him all the time, so he turned himself into a walking boner killer by getting a janky bowl cut that looks like it was done with safety scissors. That’ll do it!
Here’s a million more pictures from The Fashion Awards. Come for David Gandy (“You can say that again.” – your genitals) and stay for Donatella Versace serving up Solid Gold Muppet sexiness.
I know Lady Gaga’s thing right now is hats, specifically that pink one that’s practically the official mascot of her Joanne promotional tour. So I shouldn’t have been surprised that she showed up to the American Music Awards last night in her biggest, stiffest-brimmed hat. It was nice of her to switch out that pink hat for the evening. I’m sure it was starting to get all limp from all the sweaty forehead foundation it was no doubt collecting and could use a good soak before the Grammys in February. Sorry AMAs, but you get the backup hat.
All it takes is about 0.6 seconds on Twitter to see that many weren’t feeling the fact that America elected a greasy crumpled paper cocktail napkin as President. But Lady Gaga took her upset feelings one step further than social media. Lady Gaga, who campaigned hard for Hillary Clinton, climbed on one of the dozens of sand-filled sanitation trucks that surrounded Trump Tower in NYC very early this morning and protested with a “Love trumps hate” sign. Gaga tweeted the picture above with the caption: “I want to live in a #CountryOfKindness where #LoveTrumpsHate.”
Damn, you’ve got to be feeling a whole lot of emotions to touch a sanitation truck. I don’t care if those trucks were hosed down with hot bleach first, there’s still a risk of the back of your hand feeling the slippery flutter of a used condom. And you know Gaga was serious about dealing with her feelings right that second, because she didn’t change into her Joanne uniform of ass-flappin’ cut-offs and titty bib first. Hell, she didn’t even go home and get that tired pink hat, and you know she doesn’t do anything without that hat.
Fear of being that close to trash aside, both literally and figuratively (see: location of the trucks), Lady Gaga did feel her feelings in one of the most suitable ways I can think of. That’s probably not the first time a New Yorker in a tube top has hung off a garbage truck at 2:30am shouting about how some asshole did her girlfriend wrong, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
When it was announced last month that the third season of American Crime Story would focus on the murder of Gianni Versace, Michael, myself, and everyone else pleaded with the television gods to spare us from Lady Gaga as Donatella Versace. Either the prayer reception up in Television Heaven isn’t too good or A-list Donatella impersonator Miss Fame was busy with a prior commitment, because Gaga is reportedly a done deal.
For a second there, I thought “rockabilly trailer tramp with some Nashville sequins and a little gender mystery thrown in” was the designated look that Lady Gaga and her team slaved over for months to accompany the press blitz for her new album dropping.
Lady Gaga’s out there pimping her new album Joanne, which came out today, so you know what that means? It’s time for round 499 of the Gaga v. Madge bitch battle!
During a radio talk with Zane Lowe on Apple Music Beats 1 (via HuffPo), Lady Gaga’s absolute favorite subject, her being the Maxie to Madonna’s Barbie, came up and bitch didn’t like it all. Gaga looked so strained that I thought her new face was going to pop right off, fly across the table and hit Zane like a rubber pancake hitting the wall.