Back in 2015, when Kylie Jenner was first beginning to step out of the giant shadow cast by her sister’s ass, she filed an application to trademark the name “Kylie.” The problem for Kylie Jenner was that there was already a famous Kylie: Kylie Minogue. About a year ago, The original (and best) Kylie got her lawyers involved and asked them to put a stop to The Lesser Kylie’s attempt at cornering the market on the name Kylie. According to Kylie Minogue, Kylie Jenner – or as Kylie Minogue called her, a “secondary reality television personality” – doesn’t get to call dibs on “Kylie” because she already has a trademark on the name.
The US Patent and Trademark Office agrees. The Daily Mail says that last week, the PTO sided with Kylie Minogue and rejected Kylie Jenner’s application. Kylie Minogue is the official Kylie. Kylie’s trademark fight isn’t over yet. The Daily Mail says that Kylie Jenner has already filed an appeal on the decision.
The Kardashians and the Jenners have been programmed by Kris Jenner to want to monetize every possible aspect of their lives. And one of the ways they like to ensure that every last dollar gets tucked into their wallets is to trademark their names. It’s practically a rite of passage for them. So of course Kylie would appeal. And she’ll keep fighting until she gets her trademark. The last thing Kylie Jenner wants is to receive a letter from her mother warning her that she’s at risk of being ex-kommunicated from the family for failing to uphold their fame whore values. I’m sorry Kylie Minogue, this rash just isn’t going to go away.
And yes, I mean that in more ways than one.
Guy Pearce, his old Neighbours co-star Kylie Minogue, Julian McMahon and Radha Mitchell were all on the Gold Coast in Australia yesterday to shoot a hot beach scene for the movie Flammable Children. No word if Guy made it through the day without a seagull chasing him after mistaking that dick in his swim chonies for an obese weasel. You know, there’s no need to run your fingers over to IMDB to see what this movie is about. This movie can already have my money because it’s got:
- That Vegemite and man meat foot-long sub sandwich in Guy’s trunks. It’s most likely a stunt cock, but who cares!
- Guy Pearce looking like a Ken doll’s douche-y stepdad from the 70s.
- Kylie Minogue in an Ann Jillian wig of perfection.
- Julian McMahon in a floral Speedo.
- Everybody looking like the stars of a low-budget porn parody of Boogie Nights.
All of that combined equals the perfect movie! These pictures are my Spanish Fly.
Case in point, former Hot Slut of the Day AND Month and fabulous icon for dogs everywhere GARY FISHER! You know a movie premiere is major event when A-list celebrity dogs are invited. I bet Amanda Seyfried’s famous pooch Finn called up his agent immediately after he saw this picture and barked them out for not scoring him an invite. Gary came with his human, Carrie Fisher, and her daughter, Billie Lourd. Billie has the right idea. Rather than attempt – and inevitably fail – at trying to yank some attention away from Gary, just accept it and guide everyone’s eyes to the true star of the family.
There was also some fabulous non-dogs at the premiere for the Absolutely Fabulous movie too. The premiere was held earlier today in London, of course. And if there’s anything I know about British people, they are really good at bringing ten tons of tacky glamour to an event. Let’s take a look at some of the best, shall we?
Lady Gaga’s birthday is today and she celebrated the anniversary of her 30th year alive this past weekend by throwing herself a big party in L.A. that brought out bright shining A-list stars like Lisa Vanderpump, Asslee Simpson, Evan Ross and Lisa Rinna and low-rent has-beens like Taylor Swift and Kate Hudson. While working a painted-up face that screamed Clown School Carol Channing, CaCa strolled into her birthday party with her man Taylor Kinney, and everybody should’ve been screaming for the police since she obviously stole a dress out of the closet of Bette Midler’s Big Business character. But people weren’t doing that, because they were too busy staring at what looked like a wedding band on her finger.
When that hot piece of panty cream-inducing hotness Taylor Kinney and CaCa got engaged two Februaries ago, he gave her a heart-shaped diamond engagement ring. On Saturday night, she switched out that Mariah Carey kidney stone-looking ass ring for a plain gold band. So some think that Taylor Kinney is now officially Lord CaCa, because they got secret married.
I don’t know…..
If Lady CaCa gets married in a ceremony that isn’t televised to this planet and others, and doesn’t feature a wedding dress made out of live white doves, vows done entirely in a language created just for them, a 15-hour-long performance art piece by Marina Abramović and a first dance where little people dressed up as cherubs barf glitter-infused metallic paint on them, did Lady CaCa really get married at all? I think not!
Kylie Minogue, the best thing to happen ever, has said “get outta my way” to living FemSkin Kylie Jenner for trying to trademark the name ‘Kylie‘. The youngest Jenner put in the application for trademark in August of last year and Kylie’s business reps, KDB, filed to oppose and stop this heinous act of treachery on February 22nd, reports World Intellectual Property Review.
KDB is saying that if Kylie Jenner’s application is approved, it would cause confusion and mess with the original Kylie’s brand. While that’s true from a technical standpoint, you’d have to be pretty dumb to confuse a white diamond and a joke shop turd. On top of that, they’re citing the fact that Minogue already owns trademarks for the term ‘Kylie‘ not only in entertainment and music, but also for her perfume ‘Kylie Minogue Darling.” I’m also going to plug her home line, Kylie Minogue At Home, because I’m a rabid, frothing at the mouth fan and the line is classy and elegant.
Good on them for calling a spade a spade, or rather a budget bucket of silicone a budget bucket of silicone. I’m glad Minogue’s people have finally done something because when I heard way back when that Jenner was trying to pull this shit I nearly Erin Brockovich-ed and started a class action suit. There’s only one Kylie and that is Kylie Minogue! Others need not apply!
As I said earlier, the Oscars were a boring dress parade and I’ve seen more exciting dresses at my mom’s office holiday party. Well, it looks like all the real glamour and demure sophistication was the Vanity Fair viewing and after-party. Not only was Joan Collins there with a wig hovering above her head like a glorious halo, but Crispo Ronaldo’s ex-piece Irina Shayk and the walking community theater production of RiRi’s life titled Rita Ora all wore hot outfits that let everyone know that they traded in their panties for a stick-on pussy patch.
Irina Shayk’s pantyhose dress thing is like the more modest and athletic cousin of that exquisitely classic, coochie-flashing gown that Jaimie Alexander wore in 2013. My only question besides “How many people were treated for elegance inhalation from being exposed to Irina?” is, “How did she piss?” Was there a discreet zipper involved? A snap-off thing? Or did the crotch area have a small hole where she could just stick in a Go Girl and handle it? Even if she couldn’t piss in that bodysuit gown thing and had to hold it all night, it’s worth it. Getting a bladder infection is worth bringing loads of ravishing glamour to the masses.
I bet across town at Denny’s Oscar viewing party, style icon Edy Williams raised a mug full of pink wine and soda water in the air and toasted to Irina Shayk and Rita Whora. Irina just needed more exposed nipple and a random dog, and her Edy Williams tribute would’ve been perfect.
And here’s at least 10 billion pictures from Vanity Fair’s party including pictures of Joan Collins and Monica Lewinsky (????).