Obviously nothing can ever top the legendary sequinned charisma of Lil’ Kim’s purple nipple cover at the 1999 MTV VMA’s, but that’s not nearly a good enough excuse for people not to try. An iconic look is like rolling dice; you might wear something that ends up in one of those Best Looks of ALL TIME galleries for the rest of the internet’s existence, or you might be just wearing clothing. Cardi B could have shocked eyes by showing up in big hair, a dramatic cape, and no pants, but – yawn – been there, done that. Instead, Cardi B made her first red carpet appearance since giving birth last month in a purple gown by Nicolas Jebran and a pussycat wig. Cardi is giving me eccentric Beverly Hills housewife at a charity gala trying to steal the spotlight from her rival Bitsy Saint Claire. Wait a second – rich, attention-getting, short dark hair, daughter’s name spelled with an unnecessary K? Kris Jenner must be so flattered right now.
People is reporting that Kim shared some special Instagram stories over the weekend of her and sisters Khloe Kardashian and Kendall Jenner. The three members of their Koven were at the City of Hope charity poker event on Sunday and while backstage, Kim’s sisters had some kommentary about her body.
When anybody with at least half a working brain cell thinks of a “powerhouse power couple,” they probably think of Cynthia Nixon and Rojo Caliente, Oprah and bread, Dolly Parton’s chichis, Charlie Hunnam’s ass cheeks, a squirrel and a condom, an over-used butt plug and saliva, a broken hairdryer and a blown out electric socket, and nearly every pairing in the world not named Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott. But because Pimp Mama Kris probably kidnapped the children of GQ’s editors and threatened to feed those kids to Khlozilla if they didn’t print these false declarations, they have called Kylie and Travis the world’s most powerhouse power couple. And for the cover, they threw a half-naked Kylie onto a fully-clothed Travis. To quote Miranda Priestley: “Groundbreaking.”
When Forbes said that Kylie Jenner could potentially be the youngest self-made billionaire last week, a whole lot were made. “Self-made” would imply that Kylie hoisted herself up by the straps of her $1600 Balmain boots to start an almost-billion dollar cosmetics empire. The reality is that Kylie most likely had more help than her lips.
Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner would disagree. According to them, Kylie totally made it on her own and it had nothing to do with her famous last name or siblings.
After seeing how much publicity Kylie Jenner was getting for pretending her lips were now completely natural and filler-free, MTV fame whore Farrah Abraham thought to herself: “Hey! I have a shit-ton of filler! I could get my filler out too and stretch that 15 minutes of fame to at least a good hour due to volume alone!” Farrah is a real thinker. Continue reading
Whatever picture was hanging on the largest wall in Kris Jenner’s momager office (possibly a blown-up still from Kim’s porno) has surely been taken down today and replaced with a giant, framed picture of her youngest and most lucrative money maker on the cover of this month’s issue of Forbes. Last year it was reported that Kylie Jenner’s makeup company made $420 million in 18 months of retail sales. A year later, and Kylie Cosmetics has more than doubled their sales at $900 million. According to Forbes, 20-year-old Kylie is on her way to becoming the youngest self-made billionaire.