Ah, t’was a more innocent time for Rob Kardashian and his little sister Kylie Jenner. A time before lip kits and surgeries and getting revenge-scammed by a former stripper-turned-succubus named Blac Chyna. At least that’s what lawyers for Rob and Kylie are alleging. So much for Rob and Chyna playing nice for the sake of their daughter Dream.
Just one more Kartrashian pregnancy and we’ve got ourselves The Four Horsemen….Unless one of them is pregnant with twins. SANTO DIOS!
The toilet that Ian Somerhalder flushed Nikki Reed’s birth control pills down must’ve been nowhere near Calabasas. Because there’s something in the water in fame whore ground zero and it’s not birth control pills. (It’s the fertile seed of Satan that Pimp Mama Kris puts into the water bottles of every one of her koven members.) UsWeekly, People and TMZ all say that yet another junior koven member is growing inside the body of another Kartrashian and this time it’s Khlozilla. The wombs belonging to Kendull Jenner and The Slow One must be feeling a lot of pressure from PMK, because all they need to do is get a fetus in them, and then all of her girls will be pregnant, and then she’ll be able to take over the world with her army. Blehehehehehe!
When the news broke that Kylie Jenner had reportedly seen the two blue lines on her at-home pregnancy test, sources claimed that she’s four months pregnant with a girl. TMZ has thrown a juicy wrench into things by saying that Kylie is having a baby girl, but that she’s actually closer to five months pregnant. Kylie has been seeing her alleged baby daddy Travis Scott for about five months. It sounds like Kylie and Travis didn’t have to try very hard or for very long to make that baby.
When you first heard the news that 20-year-old Kylie Jenner is knocked up, how did you react? Did you scream? Did you shudder? Did you e-mail your resume to every Calabasas-based child care agency in hopes you’ll score a lucrative million-dollar contract as one of the nannies who will inevitably raise Kylie’s kid after she gets bored with it? Did you feel extremely triggered. If it’s the last one, you’re probably one of Lena Dunham’s friends.
There’s online speculation that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s mystery baby surrogate is none other than her little half-sister Kylie Jenner. Why doesn’t the Koven just skip these formalities and just merge together into a giant disgusting ball of taupe plastic and bake in the sun by one of their pools in Calabasas? They can set up some sort of webcam so the “fans” can check in on the Karjenner Ball now and then. Don’t hate me, I also nauseated myself with that one. Continue reading
The gossip maelstrom over last night’s report that kosmetics kween Kylie Jenner is allegedly carrying boyfriend Travis Scott’s baby has everybody in a tizzy. In addition to demonstrating how the Earth needs a life, it’s possibly causing her ex, living-beyond-his-means rapper Tyga, no end of sadness. Tyga got used to living in the silicone-d lap of luxury, what with the Karjenners enabling him to flip off his arch-enemy the repo man on the regular. Since Kylie dumped him, Tyga probably has to actually pay some car notes and start parking his rides at his mom’s house so they don’t get snatched back. He’s playing it cool though and making paternity “jokes” on Snapchat. You know he’s already tailgating at her house with an at-home paternity test in hand ready to hurl it at her car when it comes out of the gate. Continue reading