We have the Kardashian-Jenners to blame for the death of many things: natural looking makeup and bodies, the excuse that one needs talent to be successful in the entertainment industry But the latest casualty could be Snapchat, and if the game were Clue, the suspect cards pulled would be Kylie Jenner with her phone on Twitter.
Kris Jenner’s DNA must have some kind of co-dependent XX chromosome ladder chain that bonds all her daughters to each other. Because they all seem like they can’t take a shit without inviting the rest of their family into the bathroomfor a group selfie. The Jenner DNA, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have such a strong bond. When it came time to let everyone know that little Kylie Jenner was pregnant, not all of her biological siblings were notified, like her half-brother Brody Jenner.
TMZ ran into Brody at LAX yesterday and asked him if he’s met his eight-day-old new niece, Stormi Webster. Brody has not, and admitted that he didn’t know Kylie was pregnant and said he hasn’t spoken to her in “a couple” of years or “a year and a half.” Because Brody thinks Kylie has just been “busy.” Is that the official excuse provided by the Kardashian-Jenners when they officially decide to ice someone out for insubordination? Caitlyn, chime in here if you can.
Brody and the Kardashian-Jenners haven’t exactly been close in recent years. So it probably shouldn’t be that much of a shock that Kylie kept her older half-brother out of the loop. Still, Brody says he would like to meet his niece Stormi. That’s nice. But he probably shouldn’t just drop in unannounced. Kylie is going to want to alert Kris, who will in turn make sure that there’s at least a couple KUWTK cameras around to catch it. Like when Brody introduces himself to Stormi, then to Kylie before realizing he didn’t recognize her with her latest face. Completely unscripted awkwardness is reality TV paydirt.
Because we as humans always focus on things that are highly importantly in this world, many have been spending their time on trying to figure out what Kylie Jenner named her new daughter. Kylie and her man Travis Scott (government name: Jacques Webster) are really into butterflies (he’s got a song called Butterfly Effect and they’ve got matching butterfly tattoos), so some figured that they’d give their child a butterfly name. Like Butterfly or Monarch or Mariposa (Spanish for butterfly). But instead of going that route, Kylie and Travis gave their daughter the name of a stripper who’s got a butterfly tattoo on her lower back.
Leave it to Pimp Mama Kris to try to snatch the attention away from Tom Brady and the other football bitches on Super Bowl Sunday. QUICK! Tom Brady, scandalize people again by mouth-kissing your son on camera to bring the attention back to you and football!
20-year-old Kylie Jenner announced today that the newest member of the koven, which she made with 25 year-old Travis Scott, was born on February 1 at 4:34pm. If you’ve got a giant case of the sads today, take a little comfort in knowing that there’s someone out there who is sadder than you and that someone is definitely Tyga. Tyga wishes he would’ve busted a baby-making nut in Kylie so he’d secure a child support check for many years to come.
If there was any suspicion left that Kylie Jenner was the surrogate carrying her older sister’s newest social media content generator Chicago West, the Kardashians might have accidentally just killed it. TMZ got their hands on a very recent picture and a video of Kylie Jenner at a construction site, and it would appear – at least TMZ wants us to believe – she’s working a baby bump under her sweatshirt.
US Weekly has this story about some of Kylie Jenner’s fans engaging in conspiracy theory drama by claiming that she’s already given birth. Fans? Aileen Wuornos would be a more suitable role model for young women than this surgically altered life model decoy. Continue reading