Variety interviewed a bunch of Hollywood and media types about Donald Trump’s win and one of them was Chelsea Handler. Surprisingly, Chelsea didn’t say that crazy bitch Angelina Jolie is solely to blame for President-elect Trump becoming an actual thing. Instead of doing that, Chelsea directed everyone to point their blaming fingers at Calabasas, CA.
Many last-minute attention whore dreams came true for Kris Jenner this year, all thanks to her annual Khristmas party. She got tons of attention by keeping Blac Chyna’s name off the guest list, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West temporarily killed those divorce rumors by taking an awkward family picture together and now this little crusty nugget. Paris Hilton went to Kris’ party and posed for a picture with her fame whore spin-off.
And by “this,” I mean two things: extremely sophisticated portraits and a new kind of brain gonorrhea you’ll get while thinking about Terry Richardson slobbering from every orifice as he takes pictures of 19-year-old Kylie Jenner.
Since Kim Kartrashian is mostly sitting on the fame whore bench, it’s Kim Kartrashian 2.0’s job to keep her family’s signature brand of ho shit coming. So Kylie plumped up her balloon ass cheeks with helium, turned the dial that operates her eyes to DEAD and delivered all kinds of Instagram THOT poses. That mother/daughter picture above is truly touching. Kudos to humanized chloroform rag Uncle Terry for capturing Pimp Mama Krisssss in her true form. She’s never looked better.
If you’ve been looking for the perfect holiday gift for the fame whore-in-training in your life, Kylie Jenner’s 2017 calendar is already out. The pictures have leaked all over Instagram, and most of them look like backpage escort ads taken in a garage in front of a white bed sheet background. And I’m sure that’s exactly what Kylie and Uncle Terry were going for. I’ve burped up a few pics after the cut and you may want to look at them while listening to a song of your choice, because you’ll need something loud to drown out the sound of PMK screaming, “Work it, spread it, make it rain, bitch!”
A little over a week after Kanye West was released from the hospital, where he was being treated for an alleged mental breakdown, he appeared in b-hole-hugging jeggings and a dome full of blond hair at a furniture exhibit.
Page Six says that Kanye showed up to Rick Owens: Furniture at the Museum of Contemporary Art’s Pacific Design Center space in West Hollywood in last night. It doesn’t seem like there were any professional photographers there last night, which is why Kim Kartrashian didn’t go with Kanye. But someone managed to take a picture of Kanye sitting on what looks like a $35,000 outhouse stool made of sunstone crystals from Superman’s fortress. The picture was posted on Kanye West Daily, and also shows that Kanye went blond, and I wonder why….
19-year-old Kylie Jenner celebrated the born day of her 27-year-old boyfriend, Tyga, by posting two Instagram pics of them hanging out. And by “them hanging out,” I mean her bare breasts. On Tyga’s face. Klassy! Hey, it’s less expensive for Kylie’s mom, witchmaster general Kris Jenner. If Kris were going to follow previous Kylie/Tyga birthday protocols, she would have to buy his ass a car which he’s only going to sell later to afford to buy Kylie a car on her NEXT birthday which will end up being repo-ed and then the circle would begin anew because these are some ridiculous-ass people who have no respect for money, automobiles or our patience.
For the first time in recent memory, Tyga has a reason to wake up and get his ass out of the bed Kylie Jenner probably bought for him. Tyga is currently participating in a debtors examination over the unpaid jewelry bill he owes to Jason of Beverly Hills. The only problem is, that exam isn’t going so well because Tyga’s memory isn’t good when it comes to explaining how his money is spent on his girlfriend.