While most of us who watched the horrendous second Sex And The City Movie did the happiest of happy dances when Kim Cattrall refused to do a third, I guess there still people Samantha Jones-ing (yuk yuk) for more. A few of the lesser cast members lost their collective shit over the chance for a check that wasn’t coming from a role in a commercial for arthritis medication. Fans have also been upset, and one point blank asked Sarah Jessica Parker to write Samantha off or replace her and still do the movie. SJP isn’t so convinced.
It’s been a month since Kim Cattrall emerged as the goddess and savior of cinema reason why there would no longer be a Sex And The City 3 movie. Kim said that Samantha Jones was put through some degrading shit in the last movie, and so she’s leaving the franchise before Sarah Jessica Parker and Michael Patrick King make her shoot a scene where she loses her dentures in the middle of an orgy. The cast seemed pissed – some more than others – but also accepted that it was time to move on. Except Kristin Davis. Continue reading
When the world heard that Sex And The City 3 wasn’t happening, mostly everyone loudly rejoiced, except for Kristin Davis, because bitch needs a check (same). Sarah Jessica Parker confirmed it was a no-go by vaguely saying it wasn’t happening while her eyes said, “IT’S ALL SAMANTHA’S FAULT!” Kim Cattrall has more to say about the situation, and let us know that she’s staying away because the only thing served at the brunch table when she filmed was toxic tea! Continue reading
Kristin Davis is probably not going to sign Kim Cattrall up for the Sex Toy of the Month club for Christmas like she planned (nothing says Warm Holiday Wishes like a new dildo every month). Brooke from Melrose Place says it’s “deeply frustrating” that Sex and the City 3 is deader than our political system. It turns out that Kim Cattrall realizes that no one wants to see Samantha Jones removing her dentures and putting them in a cup of Polident on the nightstand so she can blow the UPS guy on the big screen. Kim put the kibosh on the film by refusing to be in it. Speaking of sending people gifts to show your appreciation, are we all chipping in on an Edible Arrangement to send to Kim to thank her for sparing us that particular hardship?
Kim Cattrall just did the world a huge favor by single handedly putting the kibosh on Sex And The City 3. That’s right, you may never have to cringe your way through another SATC movie again! Daily Mail reports that Kim is totally being a Carrie by making it all about her.
“Here they are, y’all! Take a good look, cause you might not get to see ’em for another couple of hours!”
The amfAR Inspiration Los Angeles Gala honoring Tom Ford was held on Wednesday night, and guess who showed up with her tits out? That’s right, everyone’s favorite permanent marker-huffing chipmunk Miley Cyrus! But since the amfAR Gala is some fancy shit, she knew she it would be inappropriate to roll up in a high-cut thong and weed leaf pasties. So instead, she decided to bust open a Sheer Elegance L’eggs, wear them as a shirt, and wrap up her backwoods nipple bits in some black duct tape. Miley is nothing if not a klassy lassy, after all.
THIS is how you do tasteful black tie elegance. Why wear a boring-ass evening gown when you can look like the crazy hillbilly cousin of Leeloo Dallas? Or a slutty futuristic project manager from Blade Runner? Or a waitress at an adults-only murder mystery dinner theater? Or a rejected member of The Black Tape Project (NSFW)? Or a goth figure skater? I could literally go on for hours, but you get the picture. BITCH LOOKS HOT!
And adding to the already dangerously high levels of Appalachian sophistication, Miley brought her gorgeous mom Tish Cyrus as her date. Sadly, Tish didn’t also dress like a slutty BDSM mime; instead, she wore a satin tablecloth and did her hair in a fancy show pony braid. Oh well, next time!
Here’s more of Miley looking like a low-budget Pris Stratton (because you need that in your life), as well as Lea Michele who – SURPRISE SURPRISE – was serving up middle-aged horny cougar realness, Alessandra Ambrosia Salad wearing the Las Vegas showgirl version of Miley’s outfit, and a bunch of boring covered-up hos: