Category: Kristen Stewart

Open Post: Hosted By Kristen Stewart And St. Vincent Making Their Red Carpet Cobblestone Walkway Debut As A Couple

October 27, 2016 / Posted by:

That looks like a still out of a Harry Potter spin-off movie about the incestuous lesbian love affair between Draco Malfoy’s long-lost hipster sister and Bellatrix Lestrange’s long-lost hipster sister. And yes, it’s directed by Sofia Coppola and Bon Iver scored the soundtrack.

About three weeks after it was rumored that Kristen Stewart’s twat had bid adieu to Alicia Cargile’s cooch and said bonjour to St. Vincent’s poon (Side note: In my mind, KStew’s chocha speaks broken French), the two went public with their love at the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund show in L.A. yesterday.

TenCents has been a thing for about a month, and that may not seem like a long time, but in both Hollywood relationship time and Kristen Stewart time, that’s approximately 8 years. So I’m guessing that in the time it takes me to move my mouse cursor to the “publish” button and click it, a BREAKING NEWS report will pop up saying that St. Vincent was spotted moving her shit out of KStew’s house as KStew’s new piece moves in. And yes, KStew’s new piece will be St. Vincent’s ex Cara Delawhatever. Hey, it’s not Kristen Stewart’s fault for having to get with her ex’s ex. There’s only so many famous and semi-famous hipster gayelles to choose from!

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By Kristen Stewart Channeling Prince

October 15, 2016 / Posted by:

Stalking expert Kristen Stewart showed up for the New York Film Festival premiere of Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Title Walk dressed like Prince. I applaud this look even though it makes my heart ache for what was. From the New Romantic/Patrick Nagel face makeup situation to the full Purple Rain lace experience devouring her upper body, she really classed that premiere up by paying homage to Prince Rogers Nelson. She got one thing wrong, though. Prince would NEVER have needed safety pins to secure ANY of his clothing. He was so sexy magnetic that his clothes wouldn’t think of not clinging to his every lusty move.

If there’s an official opening of the urn holding Prince’s ashes at the Paisley Park museum, Kristen needs to be presenting it. In that truly “I Would Die 4 U” outfit.

Check out more pics of Kristen Stewart at the premiere (as well as the trailer for Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk) below.

Pics: Splash, WENN

SHARE

What In The Hell Happened To Draco Malfoy?!

September 23, 2016 / Posted by:

So far today, we’ve posted about alleged child abuse, alleged gonorrhea-giving and alleged child abuse allegedly at the hand of a human strain of gonorrhea. So let’s lighten things up with Kristen Stewart’s lightened-up mop! I know, that “joke” is more depressing than anything that’s been posted today.

Kristen Stewart has said before that getting her picture taken is more painful than taking a bath, but since she loves money and free designer clothes (and who doesn’t), she agreed to get her picture taken at an event for Chanel N5 L`Eau in West Hollywood last night. I know I joked that KStew looks the human form of a clump of hair found in the shower drain in a bathroom at Malfoy Manor, but I love that piss yellow hair color and that’s not me saying I’m into golden showers. That overused urinal cake hair color takes me back. You truly haven’t lived the life of a dark-haired teenager until you’ve tried to go blond with Sun-In, peroxide, mustache lightening creme from your auntie’s bathroom cabinet and a prayer. Every teenage non-blondie has probably heard a friend scream, “Bitch, don’t touch that shit, I’ll blow, I’ll blow,” as the crap in our hair starts to eat our scalp and we’re waving our hands around to keep from scratching at it. So, I love Kristen Stewart’s hair, and she probably loves it too since the bleach fried and killed all of the lice.

And here’s more of a yallaw-haired (copyright: Tim Peeler) KStew wearing a crop top sweater made from a stovetop hood filter at last night’s Chanel thing. I also threw in pictures of Rachel Zoe, Milla Jovovich and Johnny Depp’s daughter.

Pics: Splash

Kristen Stewart Thinks It Was Gross That Her Relationship With RPattz Was Turned Into A “Product”

August 17, 2016 / Posted by:

Seen above looking like she’s about to scream “STOP MARKETING US!! WE’RE SERIOUS ACTORS!” at the premiere of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2, Kristen Stewart is once again talking about the time she and Robert Pattinson spent as Robsten. During an interview with T magazine , Kristen Stewart said that Robsten became faker than the forced smiles she worked on the red carpet at each premiere. And that’s something that makes her feel super gross. Technically you’d never know it, since her face is stuck in a permanent scowl. But believe her, she’s grossed right out.

Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >