If there’s something you can count on, it’s Kris Jenner loving all her children equally. LOL JK–which one is making the most money for her the day you’re reading this? It’s that one. Kris showed off her boundless love for her familia over the weekend by throwing up an Instagram post dedicated to all the mothers. It included mention of every one of her daughters except noticeably Kendall Jenner was left out. Yeah, Kendall well you aren’t a mother so why would you be included? …Only when you have birthed a child which Kris can make 10% from, then you can get included. Kim Kardashian‘s surrogates about to get more of a shoutout than you are. Put in the work!
It looks like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s four horsemen of the apokalypse are complete! TMZ reports that Kim K’s surrogate went into labor yesterday and now, several hours later, the baby boy is finally here. I’m sure that surrogate was paid well but let me say: for what they go through (pregnancy), whatever they get paid, surrogates need more. They the ones really deserving of being “self-made billionaires.”
Just when you thought the Kardashian/Jenner Koven couldn’t get anymore tacky they go and take this group photo. There is so much going on here like:
– Kris Jenner‘s beat-down, platinum Kate Gosselin-meets-Gwen Stefani wig.
– Her boyfriend Corey Gamble‘s limp-dick-ballsack bowtie version of the vibrant pussy-bow.
– Kim Kardashian West‘s wet-looking gold-lamé+tinsel, half-mermaid Saran-wrap look.
– Kanye West fully falling asleep behind them.
– Kendall Jenner‘s singular slicked-down middle part with a dark-twist/crown of orange feathers.
– Kylie Jenner‘s chambermaid’s sexy nightie and matching synthetic lilac wig straight from MapOfBeauty.
– Travis Scott‘s “we get it you’re straight so you don’t know what a goddamn theme is” half-assed attempt at looking like a well-dressed G.I. Joe action figure.
This is a mess, but what else would we expect?
Jordyn Woods said recently that dealing with the whole Tristan Thompson/Khloé Kardashian disaster has really awakened her to the truth about the world. Namely, she–a black woman of 21 years of age with, I’m assuming, black friends and family–finally understands what it’s like being a black woman in today’s society… I mean… there were other times… you could have… probably learned that. But hey! Woke is woke, right?
Unrealized Disney villainess Kris Jenner tells CBS News in an upcoming interview that her plastic-molded clan of overinflated innertube terrors “definitely” make “six figures” when it comes to pushing products like laxative tea to their millions of followers. People get paid less for internal organs in order to save lives. This can’t be life.
That was fast. Before we could clean the panting hot breath marks and sticky palm prints off the inside of our car windows after hearing that Khloe Kardashian (in wax above) was “in contention” (AKA anywhere from completely fabricated to already inked), to be the next Bachelorette, the rumor has been shot down. According to Khloe’s Momager Kris Jenner and
protective moral compass big sister Kim Kardashian, Khloe as the Bachelorette is a no go, which is a shame, since she clearly can not be trusted to swipe right on her own.