You’re probably already in your end-of-the-world bunker because of (insert anything that’s on the news), but this should really make you get in your end-of-the-world bunker. As soon as soon as the tip of the hood on John Mayer’s David Duke touched the kooze of a Kartrashian, the earth’s core would explode over this unholy union.
People reports the highly important news that Kourtney Kardashian went to dinner with her 35-year-old ex Scott Disick and Sofia Richie. On Sunday, Scott took his child girlfriend to Chuck E. Cheese and as she played skee-ball, Kourtney’s sloth brain nearly melted while wondering why her salad didn’t have cucumber cubes in it. No, they went to Nobu.
This is why it’s important to take selfie breaks every once in a while to read the damn news. Because if Kim Kardashian did that sort of thing, she might have read about Shaun White getting in trouble for his Simple Jack Halloween costume. And she might have said to herself, “So apparently we don’t use the r-word anymore? Good to know.” But a self-obsessed fame whore never takes a break, and so up until last night, Kim casually threw around the r-word. After getting called out by people who are familiar with the current protocol on such a word (aka don’t use it), Kim is apologizing.
Kim Kartrashian is truly an enigma wrapped in a conundrum draped in a riddle and dipped in trash and sprinkled with the blood of Lucifer. She loves how thin she is. But also has claimed men are gay who aren’t attracted to her physical energies. And then said she hates her own big ass that she purchased. And Kim is known for her Photoshop flops, and now she’s been accused of another that involves taking her ass from DuPont factory to a couple of medium-sized Tupperware bowls. Continue reading
I know that we all thought Kim Kardashian was a portrait of body positivity, especially after she reminded us how extremely happy, elated and thoroughly tickled pink she was to be a minuscule 120 pounds. Well slap on your surprised face because you are in for a turnaround!
It was just a few weeks ago that Kourtney Kardashian, AKA “the least exciting one to look at“, broke things off with model Younes Bendjima. There were some infidelity rumors and it also seemed like Younes just didn’t understand what Kourtney was really about, you know what I mean? Well, Kourtney saw the notes Kris Jenner scribbled in her Keeping Up With The Kardashians script and it read: “Kourtney speaks to BOYFRIEND” and so she had to go out and get her old one back.